Post by LovelyJune on Aug 15, 2010 5:51:54 GMT -8
I recently watched a video of the Dalai Lama speaking at a University on the topic of The Meaning of Life. His answer was simple: happiness is the meaning of life. It is what every creature on earth strives for. But he said because we are human we get distracted thinking falsely that money will make us happy, or sex, or fame...But this is not the route to happiness. Instead, he said, it is our own mental attitude which has the power to create within us happiness.
Then he told of a little story of a scientific experiment done on two guinea pigs. Two guinea pigs had the same injury. One was kept alone in a cage and the other had a friend. The guinea pig with a friend recovered and healed much more quickly because the friend was "licking" the other guinea pig's wound.
I wondered how this would apply to love addiction. I immediately thought people on this forum would think...SEE! We all need companionship and love! And while that is true there is a deeper understanding here. The injured guinea pig receiving licks from his friend was being WELL CARED FOR AND this is why he healed. This, in essence is what a GOOD, HEALTHY relationship does for you. LAs sometimes (myself included) would be in relationships where the supposed "friend" or lover or husband was CAUSING the wounds, not doing anything to heal them. Do you see the difference?
If happiness is the meaning of life, and to get there means having a positive mental attitude, then strive to first build your positive mental attitude so that when you go out in to the world to look for that "friend" you find someone not to depend on or lean on or take care of you, but someone who will lick your wounds mere by the very nature of his kindness to you. In this way, YOU HEAL. In this way, you grow stronger.
The full video is here:
dalailama.com/webcasts/post/120-what-life-is-all-about
Then he told of a little story of a scientific experiment done on two guinea pigs. Two guinea pigs had the same injury. One was kept alone in a cage and the other had a friend. The guinea pig with a friend recovered and healed much more quickly because the friend was "licking" the other guinea pig's wound.
I wondered how this would apply to love addiction. I immediately thought people on this forum would think...SEE! We all need companionship and love! And while that is true there is a deeper understanding here. The injured guinea pig receiving licks from his friend was being WELL CARED FOR AND this is why he healed. This, in essence is what a GOOD, HEALTHY relationship does for you. LAs sometimes (myself included) would be in relationships where the supposed "friend" or lover or husband was CAUSING the wounds, not doing anything to heal them. Do you see the difference?
If happiness is the meaning of life, and to get there means having a positive mental attitude, then strive to first build your positive mental attitude so that when you go out in to the world to look for that "friend" you find someone not to depend on or lean on or take care of you, but someone who will lick your wounds mere by the very nature of his kindness to you. In this way, YOU HEAL. In this way, you grow stronger.
The full video is here:
dalailama.com/webcasts/post/120-what-life-is-all-about