Post by Jacarandagirl on Feb 28, 2012 4:38:09 GMT -8
When I first hit rock bottom I went to see a drug and alcohol counsellor (how classically codependent- my PoA was the drug addict, and I was addicted to him). The counsellor told me a story about a female heroin addict he saw for a long time. When she first made a commitment to recovery she refused to join a group, preferring to do it herself. She put a huge amount of effort into her recovery, building herself a shrine to her recovery in her room, doing lots of other things, and stayed clean for ONE WHOLE YEAR. Then she relapsed. He seemed shocked that it happened to this lady when she was going so well. He told me this to illustrate how much commitment it takes for a hard-core addict to get over drugs, and my PoA didn't even have the ability to give it up for more than 3 weeks. He used to the story to illustrate it (recovery) most likely wasn't going to happen with him. And recovery for me? I still find myself fantasising about him making the huge effort to give up for me (proving to my little girl her power, that she never, ever had). It's two stories that go to prove how hard it is to become immune to the lure of our drug of choice.