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Post by london on Jul 1, 2009 5:09:01 GMT -8
What really worked for me was feeliing so angry that I yelled at God. I told him to fix my brain NOW!!!!! It worked. My entire day changed. God doesn't care if I yell at him.
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Post by lotus on Aug 20, 2009 1:15:29 GMT -8
I think I'll try the thought-stopping methods mentioned. Sometimes I think I'm too hard on myself; I get frustrated that I still think about him a lot. Sometimes when I think about him I just say "let it go" in my mind, focus on my breath a bit, take a moment to mentally feel my body, and try to let my mind be blank for a bit. It's works alright. I think I need to find a positive replacing thought, though.
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Post by lotus on Aug 20, 2009 20:16:36 GMT -8
Today I decided that I'm going to try replacing thoughts about my poa with thoughts about my pet bunny that I've had for 8 years. It seems safe and thinking about her always gives me calm, pleasant feelings.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Aug 21, 2009 20:07:11 GMT -8
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Post by lotus on Aug 23, 2009 16:58:58 GMT -8
awwwww =)
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gordana
Full Member
Newcomers Greeter
Posts: 189
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Post by gordana on Dec 5, 2009 21:13:54 GMT -8
When I realize that I am obsessing, I say 'I love you, Gordana' and I feel someone holding me in their arms. Its awsome and it really wors
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Post by lotus on Dec 10, 2009 15:18:23 GMT -8
My thought stopping method: I notice the rampant thinking and then stop and say "let it go" in my head. I then take a moment to be present and mentally feel my body. This podcast I came across has a thought stopping method: www.miroguide.com/items/887343 |
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Post by joe1960 on Dec 18, 2009 17:22:55 GMT -8
It seems every song is about unrequited love. So I started to listen to music in Spanish. I'm trying to learn Spanish anyway, so it kills two birds with one stone.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 26, 2009 15:51:02 GMT -8
From Telmita . . .Here's a game you can play with yourself: make a goal that you will spend 1 hour ONLY and NOT think about your PoA or ANY man or woman you might be attracted to. Cut all fantasy of love out of your brain, and every time a sex or love or PoA thought pops into your head, replace it as quickly as possible with something else (news, politics, art, music, sewing, drawing, singing, swimming, tying a knot! ANYTHING but the PoA). Then go from one hour to two, then three... and so on. When I first did this exercise I was ASHAMED at myself. I had NOTHING in my head except obsessive thoughts of PoA. My mind kept wanting to go back to him and it was a challenge to change this pattern, but eventually, it worked. I was so disgusted with myself that I was supposedly this very smart girl, but I didn't think of anything at all except men! Anyway, this is one of the first and most important steps to take in order to begin to change. Let us know how it works!
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Post by runrunrun on Dec 23, 2010 15:24:03 GMT -8
I like the poa going down the drain idea. I will use that one next time.
Sometimes what works for me is allowing the thoughts. Instead of pushing them away I tell myself, 'go ahead, think all about him'. The allowing and not pushing away tends to ease the tension and I find after 10 or so minutes there is nothing left to think about concerning him. So the thoughts just vanish. I think that pushing the thoughts away tends to power them even more. Does this make sense?
Runrunrun
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Post by mgb on Dec 28, 2010 17:11:43 GMT -8
I love this thread, although I have been in NC for six weeks , I haven't really tried to stop the thoughts....
I am going to try some of the suggestions here...
Thanks guys, good work.
mgb.xo
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Post by person on Dec 28, 2010 20:51:48 GMT -8
I agree with what Run says.
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Post by runrunrun on Apr 9, 2011 2:53:16 GMT -8
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Post by runrunrun on Apr 9, 2011 2:55:57 GMT -8
Ironically doing the research about thought stopping and thinking about how to stop them has caused my thoughts of him to stop. I filled in thoughts of him with thoughts of how to stop them.
runrunrun
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Post by jarjarbink on Apr 20, 2011 12:38:34 GMT -8
I recognize that I feel empty within, and I say, "God, please fill me from within."
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humilianna
Junior Member
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear ~ Buddhist Proverb
Posts: 73
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Post by humilianna on Jun 9, 2011 9:30:05 GMT -8
Here is a tip from the science of OCD. I feel like an OCD patient with my LA.
Your brain is now wired to think of the POA, it's on auto pilot. Telling yourself to stop is great...but it comes back. Here is another way.
Take something on your list of activities to do INSTEAD of think...say gardening.
Say to yourself. I am going to stop for 3 minutes only. I can do three minutes. Go and garden for three minutes. Repeat a few times. If you fall off the wagon...gently forgive yourself, go back in the house and start again.
Next day. I am going to stop for 10 minutes. I can do ten minutes. Go and garden for ten minutes. Repeat several times.
Next day. I am going to stop for 30 minutes. I can do thirty minutes.
A study was done on OCD patients. The MRI showed a change in brain firing after this exercise over a certain amount of time.
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Jun 26, 2011 2:07:55 GMT -8
That bunny post is so gorgeous! I love the pictures Butterflygirl posts. Thanks so much. They are reminding me of my swap cards I had when I was a girl, pictures of beautiful things in a Japanese manga style. I also had photographic ones of cute animals too, just like the bunny. Its really calming to think about them.
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Post by Freetolive on Jun 26, 2011 4:43:07 GMT -8
this is a great thread. I like it all. I just made myself an index card. I also like the part about surrendering the fight, saying uncle! I once read that a farmer had a great garden. A man stopped to admire and said to the farmer, "you must have prayed alot." The farmer responded, " I sure did as I was working." It went something like that.
For me, and always thinking I should get what I want from God, like he is a magic lamp, I get angry. But I worked myself into a miserable existence. I guess the whole companion visual of the farmer and God working, is also about humility and sharing. When the results start to show, the farmer is grateful, feels some self love and probably a bunch more cool stuff. Of course God is happy. His creation was in relation with the creator. I think that is supposed to be how things work.
Surrender, and Action.
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Jun 26, 2011 18:00:12 GMT -8
Yes, this one worked for me. Today while doing yoga on my verandah I noticed that I had, as usual, started thinking about my PoA. That was within about 10 seconds, and the mind went back to him, back to him, etc etc. I imagined a big red stop sign and said the word "Stop" silently. I went on with yoga, until the next break in poses and there were the thoughts about him again. I repeated the stop message. Went on with yoga, until the next break. This time I was waiting for the thought! It was too embarrassed to show up. A no show. Thanks Butterflygirl for your link, it made it fun for the first time ever to deal with my obsessive thoughts about him. Last night I wanted to add a picture and I couldn't see how, now I can, I think! This is for humiliana and her gardening. Attachments:
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bdzc
Junior Member
Posts: 61
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Post by bdzc on Dec 11, 2011 19:47:12 GMT -8
All of the above posts have great suggestions about how to stop obsessive thinking. I'm of the idea that sometimes we need "mourning", as in: okay, I'm hurt about this situations with this guy/girl...it's okay to feel hurt and to think about it, just as it happens when you hurt after someone dies. Of course, this is not the same situation, but I think it has a mourning stage too and that it is a necessary stage. Although when does it become too much? I mean, I recently got "dumped" (I put this in quoatation marks because my PoA and I were never a couple, actually we are friends who slept together once, had prospects of seeing each other again but everything stalled because he went back to his ex girlfriend)...I think it was about three weeks ago and I still find myself thinking about my PoA, about what if's, and going over every single thing in my relationship to him. I hurt because I realised I liked him as more than a friend and it's frustrating that our relationship couldn't even hope to become something more...is it normal to still feel like this after three weeks of him letting me know he went back to his girlfriend? Should I yield to these thoughts and recognize that it will take time before I can let go, or is it time already? Thanks guys  |
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 12, 2011 3:02:03 GMT -8
bdzc, three weeks is a short time, and it does take time to recover, but keep posting and sharing with us. and read all you can about love addiction. you are in the right place. Have you told your story? You can go to the newcomers thread under the home thread, tell us how you got here. welcome
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bdzc
Junior Member
Posts: 61
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Post by bdzc on Dec 12, 2011 17:23:29 GMT -8
Thank you, I'll post my story in that thread |
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robgke
Junior Member
Posts: 89
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Post by robgke on Feb 2, 2012 7:04:21 GMT -8
The video will only stop when YOU stop. Force yourself to let go of the negative by doing something positive. Read the various threads here and learn about yourself through others. Take a self inventory and reflect on when the addiction started and why. And focus your thoughts on where to go from here. As long as you let the video play it'll keep on playing. But the same goes for recovery, as long as you focus on healing yourself you will keep on healing!
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Post by looking4direction on Mar 11, 2012 1:35:59 GMT -8
I think I will try to replace thoughts of my PoA with thoughts of my HP or my mentor or LArecovery. Or rededicate love songs to my mentor or to my HP. Or play social consciousness music more than those love songs. Sometimes love songs are hard to avoid.
thanks,
Carol
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Post by looking4direction on Mar 11, 2012 1:38:28 GMT -8
I like the poa going down the drain idea. I will use that one next time. Sometimes what works for me is allowing the thoughts. Instead of pushing them away I tell myself, 'go ahead, think all about him'. The allowing and not pushing away tends to ease the tension and I find after 10 or so minutes there is nothing left to think about concerning him. So the thoughts just vanish. I think that pushing the thoughts away tends to power them even more. Does this make sense? Runrunrun I do something called DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) and "observe my thoughts". Maybe I will try observing my thoughts and then picturing them going THRU and OUT of my mind. thanks, runrunrun. Carol |
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Post by mike1967 on Jun 26, 2012 10:43:28 GMT -8
Often times when I start obsessing I just say to myself "STOP". It brings me back to myself. Then I look down at my feet and get in touch with where I am and what my focus should be in the moment. Awesome post... |
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Post by mike1967 on Jun 26, 2012 10:46:04 GMT -8
When I realize that I am obsessing, I say 'I love you, Gordana' and I feel someone holding me in their arms. Its awsome and it really wors That is extremely touching, and I thank you for sharing that. |
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Post by mike1967 on Jun 26, 2012 10:50:13 GMT -8
Today I decided that I'm going to try replacing thoughts about my poa with thoughts about my pet bunny that I've had for 8 years. It seems safe and thinking about her always gives me calm, pleasant feelings. Awesome...I have a dog & cat that I've owned for several years. No doubt that they have been models of unconditional love & acceptance. |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 31, 2012 14:17:58 GMT -8
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Post by Loving My Life on Feb 6, 2013 12:57:58 GMT -8
No you are not alone, you are taking the steps to awareness, and working to stop these obsessive thoughts, it is a process. Also if you will set a time to allow yourself to have these thoughts, and outside that time, tell them to shut up, and go away. And you can also try putting a rubber band on your wrist, and everytime you think about your poa, pop the rubber band, all of these exercises is to just made us become more conscious of our thoughts. It sound crazy, but it works. And if it does not maybe you can ask your doctor or if you have a therapist is they can get you something to help slow down your thoughts.
We just have to form new grooves in our brains, and replace the negatives, with healthy, positive activities.
Your doing good, so keep coming back.
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