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Post by runrunrun on Oct 27, 2011 13:38:49 GMT -8
I am going to hang out in this forum for a while. My self esteem sucks. I see folks my age in relationships and I think 'of course I am not in a relationship, who would want to be in one with me'.
Today I went into fantasy land. Ugh. I am interested in this friend of mine. So far i have not done anything about it. He is the only man I would consider dating at this time. I try to stay grounded when around him. Today he emailed me a link to a jazz concert coming up in 2 weeks. A favorite band of mine. I emailed him back asking if he was going. Then I went for a run and fantasized about him asking me to go. Ugh again.
I got home to his reply saying he had other plans. My self esteem took another hit and I started thinking 'of course he has other plans, who would want to go out with me anyhow?'.
Obviously I have self esteem issues to work out before I start dating again.
RRR
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Post by Loving My Life on Oct 27, 2011 14:35:44 GMT -8
RRR, glad your here. you sound like a very nice, intelligent woman to me. do you think your expectations could be a problem, instead of automatically thinking something is wrong with you? i also going to get that book Susan recommended..."Six Pillars of Self-Esteem". you are in good company here, welcome... ;-) live and let live
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Oct 28, 2011 3:50:06 GMT -8
Hi RRR,
Sorry to hear you are giving yourself such a hard time.
As far as wanting to go out to see your favourite band, a month or so ago I took myself out on a date. I went to a show I really wanted to see. I also took myself out to a restaurant and read a book and had a great dinner and nice glass of red. I even saw people I know at the show and could see what I thought was them looking for who I was there with. I didn't mind if they thought it was a little strange. That's their problem, not mine.
Funnily enough I ended up sitting right in front of some people who I knew were going to be there and had thought about asking if I could go with, but decided against it as they are a couple. Our seats were pre-determined and I had no idea it was going to happen. So we had a great old chat!
I love it when I am brave like that and I get supported by life. It's very empowering. I recommend a self-date very highly.
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Post by Light on Oct 28, 2011 4:19:51 GMT -8
Hi rrr, I agree with Jgirl, why not having a good time with yourself and your favorite band? You don't need anyone, you have yourself!
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Oct 28, 2011 8:01:14 GMT -8
hi rrr....i have a feeling this was a test from your hp.....and your ego and self will took over.....rethink this ....but this time ...turn it over and it will turn out..... I can definitely relate to you.....but guess what....if i dont like being with me.....no one else will....So thank u for posting your truth...it has helped me....because i too have struggling with keeping relationships....and wow...i had a aha moment....its me me me me....i have to feel good about me first...i cant give what i dont have...... Everytime i think that way about myself...i do something good for me....and i read something positive for me.....i am going to workout in the pool later today....and i cant wait..... Yesterday....my date got into some of his drama nuts....and what did i do....i saw my grandbabies....and i went to the dollar store and bought a few things i needed....and i worked out for an hour in the pool.....wow the water was awesome...and i prayer to my higher power....Everytime i feel negative about me...i uplift me....in any way shape or form...have a great friday....Sun  |
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Post by LovelyJune on Oct 28, 2011 11:53:57 GMT -8
Yes! Stick around. My self-esteem took a plunge yesterday. Due to a myriad of small issues, I ended up in bed at 5pm, curled up in a ball, crying hysterically that no one likes me. NO ONE. That's not even realistic. But it seemed to be last night, for sure. Boyfriend or not, esteem waxes and wanes. Don't be so hard on yourself. If anything, know that in a couple days, you may feel on top of the world again. In the meantime, I like Jgirl's idea of a self-date. And there's ALWAYS my fav all time single book (don't let the superficial cover fool you), "Better Single Than Sorry." Even the title may be enough to get across the point |
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Post by margot on Oct 28, 2011 20:03:08 GMT -8
The title is Great. It DOES get the point across. Thanks.
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Post by runrunrun on Oct 29, 2011 3:29:34 GMT -8
hanks you guys. Especially for the book recommendations. I have a good list of books to read going and could really use a self esteem one.
Sunflowers. I like your ideas. I will try them. I love the pool. And have a swim a thon coming up for the livestrong foundation. So I need to work on that. Water is great for healing. During my florida trip went spent 2 days in the water. Literally. One day at a water park that was a hoot. The other day at discovery cove swimming with fish. I was thrilled to be in the water all day.
I like the practical ideas of doing something for yourself. It makes sense. THat if you dont like your own company who else would. Also if you feel like others would not like to hang out with you than that feeling transmits to others.
RRR
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Post by nvr2late on Oct 29, 2011 6:26:04 GMT -8
This is something I really struggle with. I read something 2 nights ago that is sticking with me:
"To improve self esteem, do esteemable acts for others." (sort of a paraphrase, that might not be the exact quote but you get the idea).
I always, always feel better about myself when I take some time to do things for others - when it's from the right motives of course, not acting in co-dependency!! I think most of us know the difference :-)
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