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Post by Loving My Life on Nov 23, 2011 7:44:17 GMT -8
I would like to share this story with everyone, as iam still recovering on a daily basis, and on Monday afternoon I had a situation where I got so angry and upset, iam still trying to figure out what caused this reaction. And i believe it was because i was rejected. But i was at my local library, and i could not get the wi-fi to work on my laptop, so i asked someone who was working there, were they having problems, his response to me was "nope, mine has been working all day" and he turned back around and kept talking to the other person that worked there, never offered to help me any further. well it made me so angry i could not see straight, i got the directors phone number & call her to let her know about the situation, and i just went to starbucks. but ever since that time, i have really been trying to see what was the underlying issue of my anger? was it rejection? was it my expectations? because since ive been sober, i never get angry like this. so it did concern me a little. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. thx all...
ps: maybe hormones somewhere in the picture, b/c i think iam peri-menopausal...lol
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Post by go12 on Nov 23, 2011 7:51:45 GMT -8
But you did not ask for help. You did not voice out your need. So he did NOT reject you or anything like that. Perhaps he just didn't make a guess that you need his help.
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Post by margot on Nov 23, 2011 7:53:45 GMT -8
Probably could be a combo of hormonal AND tired of being disrespected by: men and/or people who serve the public and whose salaries OUR taxes pay for AND could be caffeine withdrawal. Whatever the reason.........hormonal is the hardest one to control, I've found.
I'm sorry he mistreated you like that..............going to Starbucks afterwards was a nice thing to do to help feel better. For me it's hard to REMEMBER to take deep breaths when I'm upset and before I say something I'll regret. At lease you walked away.
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Post by Loving My Life on Nov 23, 2011 8:05:42 GMT -8
go12, yes i did ask for help. and since he was not having a problem with his wi-fi, he saw no reason to investigate if there was a problem.
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Post by go12 on Nov 23, 2011 8:11:46 GMT -8
Ok then he can be plain lazy or busy talking to someone else. I still don't see rejection here.
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Post by Loving My Life on Nov 23, 2011 8:16:08 GMT -8
margot, yes i did walk away without going off, but i was still angry about it. Starbucks was nice, no wi-fi issues and had a nice pumpkin spice coffee. so it work itself out. I guess i need more 12 step meetings, so i dont get off balance. b/c the old me, would have told him off, and then been embarassed after the fact. so I guess my expectations caused the resentment. I guess when your in a public place just dont expect the people who work there to help you. wow times have changed since i worked with the public. thx for your insight.
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Post by LoveParis on Nov 23, 2011 8:27:48 GMT -8
carolyn - I've had similar experiences and it's not you! I'm sorry to stereotype but I have found that some folks that work for the public sector to be lazy and unmotivated. For whatever reason I don't know why. Obviously his customer services skills need revamping.
I was like you before and would walk away angry. Now I just call them out on it. I'll say something like, "are you having a bad day" or "boy you must really hate your job" or "you could smile". Afterwards, they are shocked and change their deameanor.
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Post by Loving My Life on Nov 23, 2011 8:56:51 GMT -8
loveparis, thx for your insight, i did let the director of the library know what happened. but i will just go to my normal library from now own, b/c they are always very helpful and glad to help. ;-)
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Post by person on Nov 23, 2011 12:02:06 GMT -8
Carolyn: it could be simpler than you think. Sometimes we are just generally not feeling well emotionally and sometimes we don't even know it and then somebody does or says something and off we go on a tandrum! I would not worry about. I don't think it was a rejection.
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Post by Loving My Life on Nov 23, 2011 13:00:09 GMT -8
person thx for responding, but the rejection is what caused the anger and hurt feelings to begin with. i believe my inner child was hurt. once rejected, then the anger starts.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 22, 2015 13:13:19 GMT -8
I thinnk it is a rejection, why someone think it is NOT a rejection. .. Ellen . . . everything is in the eye of the beholder. It is called projection. To me . . . Rejection is God protecting me from people that do not belong with me on my spiritual path. God looks down and sees that I am engaging with the wrong person, they simply disappear. I am grateful. For years I thought my father abandoning me was the worst thing in my life. Now I realize that God was protecting me from him for a lot of personal reasons. Acceptance in all things is now to deal with the pain of rejection. But see it as God pulling out a splinter before it gets infected.  |
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