Post by Jacarandagirl on Dec 9, 2011 13:47:02 GMT -8
It's very cool! Well done! I'm impressed with how relaxed you are on camera. And you look really good! What a coup. I also think that's a great tip about obsession within a relationship being a red flag about the health of the relationship. For me the more you are chatting to the viewer the better, in terms of reading stuff out or just winging it. For sure I get that it would be a big help to have your notes there on the computer. Also the light from the laptop is great to see you by.
"You deserve better than something that may be comfortable for you but you already know doesn't work and that you'll be complaining about soon enough and hoping that something or someone else will do what you can't even do for yourself. You deserve better - you deserve change".
Excerpt from www.baggagereclaim.com
Charming! You were at ease and it came natural. Only the "reading part" wasn't that "inviting" or attractive. The viewers don't know how many more seconds you'll go reading instead of making eye contact or connection to us. So it will look more "pro" if you put the prompter in front of you like the cam facing you or better yet memorize it.
Sooooooo lovely, Lovely ! I really like it and you look so sweet and calm. It was the first time I thought about obsession in these termes: balance or non balance between relationship and avaiability of the partner. It is make me thinking and I felt relieved I've been obsessed for such a reason and not because I was crazy......
I watched it late last night when I got in from work and having seen my PoA again. Obsession; yes, I see now the patterns of my behaviour, trying to grasp something that is not mine, always just out of reach and seemingly dangled tantalisingly close.
I have made a decision that when I start to obsess I will remind myself why I am doing it and STOP it. Think of something else. Think of the stuff from my childhood I am dealing with and deal with that instead; so much better use of my time; but of course much harder.
Thanks for your video - so nice to see a face and hear the thoughts and advice.
The message on obsession was important for me, thanks for pointing out that it's something to pay attention to and to realize it's his/her avoidance behavior triggering it. Also I can note whenever I am in the avoidance mode and observe others behavior because of it. Interesting.
Thanks for doing this, it's good to see you. You look great on camera.
You guys are hilarious. Hopefully, you will eventually be focused on the MESSAGE and not how it's delivered. But I guess that's all a part of doing a video blog. More info coming in at you, in a different format. Any topics you might like to see in the future? Or any questions I can try to answer for anybody? Just let me know!
Paisley, it wasn't MUCH later in life that I realized something about all those avoidant, distant, work-aholic men I dated. I dated them ALL for a very good reason: I, me personally, could not handle intimacy with someone who actually loved me. It was too intense for me. Too scary. I still have a very hard time spending loads of time with D-- who is perfectly content to be near me 24/7. I always tell him "I'm not used to such closeness." Sure, I was married for 7 years, but I was married to an avoidant. That's pretty much like being single. I could do anything I wanted in my own house, I had total control, I was almost completely alone. And despite the fact that I was WHINING about my ex H's avoidance ("Why don't you spend more time with me???) in reality, I simply could not handle it-- at least with HIM. With D, it's a heck of a lot easier.
We are different with different people.
Anyway, my point is, you are very right about the way you balance out your life. If you are in obsession, extreme fantasy mode, you're going to need someone completely avoidant to balance you out. It's part of nature. Nature is completely off balance, and yet, every living thing seeks balance.
The more control you gain over your emotions, thoughts and actions, the less extreme you will be. The less extreme you are as a person, the more balanced your relationships will be.