Torch Bearer Insights

gemmrose1
Junior Member

Posts: 70

Torch Bearer Insights Dec 15, 2011 10:42:15 GMT -8

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Post by gemmrose1 on Dec 15, 2011 10:42:15 GMT -8

Hi,

It's only coming to this board that I have realised I am a Torch Bearer and only interested in emotionally unavailble men. I knew I was a Love Addict but it's so important to my recovery to understand which one.

I've learnt that this is a fear of intimacy and rejection which I must deal with. I'm concentrating now on building intimacy with my friends and trying not to obsess about my last POA. It's hard but I just focus on positive things and try to be present to people rather than going off into my fantasy world. I guess behaviour learnt early to protet me from a difficult childhood is not going to shift overnight.

The thing I am struggling with the most is the dreams. If I do all the right things throughout the day, look after myslelf, pray, meditate and do things for others I can keep the obssesions at bay. But I have these dreams of the recent POA.. Obviously something I have no control over. Has anyone experienced this before..

Any input would be great.

sober Guest	Torch Bearer Insights Dec 15, 2011 15:10:54 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by sober on Dec 15, 2011 15:10:54 GMT -8 Thanks for sharing. Yes I've experienced it too especially the "dream" part. But our dream is just a dream. We don't have to take it seriously.

ramaplame
Junior Member

Posts: 92

Torch Bearer Insights Dec 15, 2011 17:50:46 GMT -8

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Post by ramaplame on Dec 15, 2011 17:50:46 GMT -8

I have the most vivid dreams of my POA and I just remembered this -- when I was in high school we had to keep a dream journal. It was tedious and annoying. Every morning we'd wake up and immediately write down our dream. We even had to put a post it note or whatever that said "DREAM" next to our bed so we would remember our dream in detail.

But after a week of doing this, of really paying attention to our dreams, we tried to tell our minds what to dream about, or what to work out, right before we went to bed. For example, if we kept dreaming that we couldn't open our lockers or we had finals for a class we never took -- we would say, "You know your locker combination, you've got all the classes you need, maybe try dreaming about fun things like if I was a part of x and x TV show..."

I personally hate dreaming about my POA and this reminds me to try and figure out a way to have a little more control. People ward off worries/bad dreams in all sorts of ways -- journalling before bed, worry dolls, dream catchers, etc. okay now I'm getting sleepy.

Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.
~ Saint Augustine ~

gemmrose1 Junior Member Posts: 70	Torch Bearer Insights Dec 16, 2011 7:39:18 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by gemmrose1 on Dec 16, 2011 7:39:18 GMT -8 Thanks for the advice I'll take it :-) Funny though after I'd done the Post had a dream free night. Maybe I just needed to share. Love this board

Loving My Life Elder Member Senior Member I am a beautiful child of God . . ."My Inner Child." Posts: 4,139	Torch Bearer Insights Dec 16, 2011 9:21:12 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Loving My Life on Dec 16, 2011 9:21:12 GMT -8 gemmrose, A problem shared is a problem cut in half, that is the beauty of recovery.
	One day at a time :-) :-). . .We can do together, what we could never do alone. :-) And a problem shared, is a problem cut in half. :-) :-)

gemmrose1 Junior Member Posts: 70	Torch Bearer Insights Dec 16, 2011 9:37:21 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by gemmrose1 on Dec 16, 2011 9:37:21 GMT -8 Yes so right Carolyn. I hope you are still coping well with your situation. We do have to remember how bad it was and "run" Blessings

Loving My Life
Elder Member

Senior Member

I am a beautiful child of God . . ."My Inner Child."

Posts: 4,139

Torch Bearer Insights Dec 16, 2011 9:52:52 GMT -8

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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 16, 2011 9:52:52 GMT -8

gemmrose, I feel like a totally new person today, but wednesday i was totally sick, and that is all the proof i need to never let him back in my space. As I look back over the last 2 yrs, i do not know how i put up with him, until i came to this board i guess i never realized how bad it was. Cunning, baffling and powerful. thanks for asking, and thank god we only have to live one day at a time.

One day at a time :-) :-). . .We can do together, what we could never do alone. :-) And a problem shared, is a problem cut in half. :-) :-)

Post by gemmrose1 on Dec 15, 2011 10:42:15 GMT -8

Post by sober on Dec 15, 2011 15:10:54 GMT -8

Post by ramaplame on Dec 15, 2011 17:50:46 GMT -8

Post by gemmrose1 on Dec 16, 2011 7:39:18 GMT -8

Post by Loving My Life on Dec 16, 2011 9:21:12 GMT -8

Post by gemmrose1 on Dec 16, 2011 9:37:21 GMT -8

Post by Loving My Life on Dec 16, 2011 9:52:52 GMT -8