Post by lacypooh on Dec 16, 2011 8:53:00 GMT -8
I would like your insight on this...I notice that I am still seeking validation from others. I want so much to be noticed and approved..yet, I still, for the most part try to hide in the back ground.
Without all the drama and toxic people in my life, it seems no one talks to me at all. Where are the "healthy" people? There's no one.....
I don't want to go back to all the chaos, but I feel myself "trying" to make new friends and "hoping" I get noticed, and "hoping" someone reaches out to me.
How do I overcome this? I just want to go on with my life and live without basing my decisions of if it will gain me a compliment, some recognition, a new friend, and avoid negative attention and judgement. It HAS gotten better , but it's still pretty bad.
I try not to do this, but I find myself analyzing EVERYTHING, even how ppl correspond w/ me on facebook. Example, I feel like I can make a status and get maybe 2 likes, and someone else can say the EXACT thing and get 10 likes and 58 comments.
I know that is a bit extreme to even think about stuff like that, but I do. I know this will stop when I find validation within myself, but HOW?
Sidenote: When I was in the throes of my disease, I never thought about things like this because i was so busy "having fun dating" and although the people were toxic, I had a large social group and was so much more outgoing and not so guarded and rigid. In staying with the FB example, ( not implying that FB is the source for declaring value) I never thought about how many likes I got, or comments and I used to get SO MANY without even trying because I didn't care what others thought and in my mind, my life was" full" so i wasn't afraid of scarying anyone away or trying to bring new ppl in my life.....
But now that my life seems so empty in terms of not having any friends, but just associates, I constantly feel like i'm under a microscope and I feel that everything I say will make or break me...ugh...so frustrating. Any thoughts? Suggestions?
Without all the drama and toxic people in my life, it seems no one talks to me at all. Where are the "healthy" people? There's no one.....
I don't want to go back to all the chaos, but I feel myself "trying" to make new friends and "hoping" I get noticed, and "hoping" someone reaches out to me.
How do I overcome this? I just want to go on with my life and live without basing my decisions of if it will gain me a compliment, some recognition, a new friend, and avoid negative attention and judgement. It HAS gotten better , but it's still pretty bad.
I try not to do this, but I find myself analyzing EVERYTHING, even how ppl correspond w/ me on facebook. Example, I feel like I can make a status and get maybe 2 likes, and someone else can say the EXACT thing and get 10 likes and 58 comments.
I know that is a bit extreme to even think about stuff like that, but I do. I know this will stop when I find validation within myself, but HOW?
Sidenote: When I was in the throes of my disease, I never thought about things like this because i was so busy "having fun dating" and although the people were toxic, I had a large social group and was so much more outgoing and not so guarded and rigid. In staying with the FB example, ( not implying that FB is the source for declaring value) I never thought about how many likes I got, or comments and I used to get SO MANY without even trying because I didn't care what others thought and in my mind, my life was" full" so i wasn't afraid of scarying anyone away or trying to bring new ppl in my life.....
But now that my life seems so empty in terms of not having any friends, but just associates, I constantly feel like i'm under a microscope and I feel that everything I say will make or break me...ugh...so frustrating. Any thoughts? Suggestions?