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Post by torchbearer13 on Dec 16, 2011 18:40:10 GMT -8
My current POA is a co-worker. I've asked her out many times. She knows I am interested. It's gotten even harder for me to forget about her, knowing that it's just an addiction. I thought I had feelings for this person and cared about her.
I've been trying to have limited contact and make very little conversation. She still comes up to me, being friendly.
I deleted her number from my phone. I have it written down on a piece of paper. I want to get rid of it (burn it). I just can't do it.
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Post by addicted on Dec 16, 2011 18:45:17 GMT -8
You took a baby step-took the # out of your phone and put it on a piece of paper. Ok that's progress. Keep going. It took me forever to finally do NC for real -had a lot of false starts or failures. But maybe they were just baby steps or practice. You will get there. You are not alone.
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 16, 2011 18:49:57 GMT -8
torch, i was in my craziness with my poa for 2 yrs, and ive been trying since July to cut the cord, it was only a week ago that i felt i was ready to block his cell #, so your making progress. if you have to erase and burn her # a 1000 times, just dont give up on your recovery. As LJ says also we obsess over what we dont possess. What are you doing to get thru your withdrawals/obsession?
Thanks for reaching out & sharing with us.
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Post by torchbearer13 on Dec 16, 2011 21:01:05 GMT -8
Well, I guess to get through the withdrawal/ obsession, I am trying to do things I've been putting off. I am trying to eat better and start exercising. I got the Self-Esteem Workbook, it's helpful. I know the only thing I can do in recovery is fix myself.
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Post by looking4direction on Dec 17, 2011 1:34:20 GMT -8
self-care follows removal of the obsession object.
It is good to replace the addictive behavior.
Carol
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Post by torchbearer13 on Dec 17, 2011 8:05:48 GMT -8
. As LJ says also we obsess over what we dont possess. Does this mean I should hang on to it? |
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 17, 2011 8:21:25 GMT -8
Iam not sure what your asking to hang on too? the phone #? you can until you feel stronger, and then get rid of it.
the relationship? No you should not hang onto the fantasy of the relationship, it is not healthy. You need to focus on yourself now.
Go out and do something with yourself today. And stay busy with yourself, enjoy your company. Keep posting with us, so we can help us, your not alone.
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Post by torchbearer13 on Dec 17, 2011 9:29:46 GMT -8
Thanks, I meant the phone #. I guess I should just get rid of it now. I will someday.
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Post by calvin on Dec 17, 2011 11:08:56 GMT -8
I did the same with my PoA's phone number - deleted it from my phone and wrote it on a pience of paper... it was a baby step towards NC. I put the piece of paper in an envelope, stuck it down and put it at the back of my wardrobe... when I get anxious and want to call I know I'll have to go through a pile of junk to get the number... and picturing myself doing this reminds me I'm an addict and to sit and be with my feelings and resist the temptation. I have a choice of how to act.
Seeing her at work is going to be difficult... I've written out my boundaries for when I meet my PoA; what is acceptable for me to say and do and what is acceptable for him. It really helps keep me in check...
Thanks for sharing
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Post by sober on Dec 17, 2011 11:38:52 GMT -8
I did the same with my PoA's phone number - deleted it from my phone and wrote it on a pience of paper... it was a baby step towards NC. I put the piece of paper in an envelope, stuck it down and put it at the back of my wardrobe... when I get anxious and want to call I know I'll have to go through a pile of junk to get the number... and picturing myself doing this reminds me I'm an addict and to sit and be with my feelings and resist the temptation. I have a choice of how to act. Seeing her at work is going to be difficult... I've written out my boundaries for when I meet my PoA; what is acceptable for me to say and do and what is acceptable for him. It really helps keep me in check... Thanks for sharing That's good! In my case, my "strategy" will require me to dress up 1st, go to a shop to buy a new sim card and call for its registration before I'll be able to contact her. So that "long process" is a delaying tactic until the possible temptation or impulse to contact her will be gone.  |
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Dec 17, 2011 11:39:28 GMT -8
Great move Calvin. That's a really clever way to give yourself a wake-up call even as you slip. Smart!
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 17, 2011 16:14:09 GMT -8
calvin, I also think that is a good idea. And its also nice to know i was not the only one deleting the # out of my phone, knowing I had it wrote down, plus i had it memorized so it did not good to hide. But I have all of his #'s blocked now...so he cant contact and neither can i contact him. But we have to go to any lengths for our recovery. Good job.
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Post by torchbearer13 on Dec 18, 2011 10:42:29 GMT -8
I just burned the piece of paper I had with the # on it. It feels good in a weird way. I've never been the person to end something.
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Post by addicted on Dec 18, 2011 11:36:01 GMT -8
Wow -amazing strength torchbearer. So proud of you!
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Dec 18, 2011 12:16:42 GMT -8
And isn't that the really amazing part- to find out that it feels undeniably, distinctly GOOD to take that kind of step, to look after ourselves? I love that.
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