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Post by overcome on Jun 16, 2012 11:07:26 GMT -8
This is a little story I read from the same Enneagram Institute page I talk about in this thread - laarecovery.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=lovetest&action=display&thread=12665Anyway, I thought many of us could relate to this story and wanted to share: "There is a Sufi story that relates to this about an old dog that had been badly abused and was near starvation. One day, the dog found a bone, carried it to a safe spot, and started gnawing away. The dog was so hungry that it chewed on the bone for a long time and got every last bit of nourishment that it could out of it. After some time, a kind old man noticed the dog and its pathetic sstuff and began quietly setting food out for it. But the poor hound was so attached to its bone that it refused to let go of it and soon starved to death "  |
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Post by maxheadcase on Jun 16, 2012 14:20:21 GMT -8
Me = Old Dog
POA = Bone
Don't want to end up like the old dog.
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Post by wahinewha on Jun 16, 2012 14:33:23 GMT -8
Wow that is such a cool description.
I am no longer attached to my bone that has zero nutrional value!
I am open to receive the blessings from other people and receive them with appreciation.
I will not die from kindness deprevation because I am way to smart now to see the writing on the wall with the knowledge of reading, prayer and action of my addiction.
I am no longer a dog!
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Post by Loving My Life on Jun 16, 2012 15:07:59 GMT -8
That sums it up for me, our poas are emotional vampires, and I allowed mine to suck me dry, it does feel like a death, thank god we dont have to stay in the pain, we can just let people be.
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Post by lilila on Jun 16, 2012 21:10:22 GMT -8
Thanks for that, I love those Sufi stories. I will remind myself of that whenever I get the urge to respond to my ex poa, who is again dangling the meager bone in front of my eyes.
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Post by lilila on Jun 17, 2012 10:54:29 GMT -8
Requin, I feel your pain! I thought your poa had severed all ties with you, how did this come to happen? The difficulty in letting go must be because our emotions are always slower to catch up. I´ve noticed I still have dreams about things that happened decades ago, and they still affect me.
In my case, I had decided to put an end to the relationship with my poa, informed him about it and was doing NC. Some weeks later he is pursuing me again with the same old crumbs - offering to meet me in a very degrading situation for me. I found it´s really tricky because he always catches me unawares. It seems like he is making an effort to have a normal relationship with me, but he isn´t willing to give me anything worthwhile. But somehow he makes it look like he is responding to my needs and wants! So it always takes some time for me to really understand what is going on, and to make a new resolution not to embark in this situation again. I have to tell myself all the time "use your head, not your emotions!" because I always respond with my emotions first.
Last night I had a dream about him, we were dancing together and he was so much nicer than in real life, I was very happy. But then he said something like "wow you´re so attracted to me", which seemed like such a strange thing to say. When I woke up I thought about how things between us are always about him and his ego. I also realize I´m still very vulnerable to him. This is helping me take the decision to reject his new attempts, I´m not sure yet how to phrase it to him but I don´t want to fall in the same dynamics again.
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Post by calvin on Jun 18, 2012 13:41:55 GMT -8
Lilila - this really hit home:
"It seems like he is making an effort to have a normal relationship with me, but he isn´t willing to give me anything worthwhile."
I've made do with sstuffs for far too long!
Thanks for sharing.
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Post by Loving My Life on Jun 18, 2012 14:05:40 GMT -8
the sstuffes that my poa continues to throw me, are rather boring to me now....im not biting anymore.....it feels good to finally say this, without a shadow of a doubt.
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Post by maxheadcase on Jun 18, 2012 15:47:10 GMT -8
Good to hear Loving My Life! I'm looking forward to the day that this is all a distant AND forgotten memory. My brain knows its the best thing for me...but my heart and obsessive thoughts make this hard, am really working on my thought process and controlling these thoughts but...
My oldest sister told me a couple of weeks ago that I've always had a tender heart...kind of wish my heart was cold so things like moving on from POA wouldn't be so painful.
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Post by LovelyJune on Jun 18, 2012 16:51:26 GMT -8
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Post by alishass2040 on Nov 13, 2012 1:04:21 GMT -8
will remind myself of that
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