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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Jul 2, 2012 7:44:13 GMT -8
I got this quote for today...and thought I would post it...
"Life only demands from you the strength you possess. Only one feat is possible — not to have run away."
– Dag Hammarskjöld
All of my life I ran away from my feelings.....and since I have been in recovery I have learned that I must feel it to heal it....That is really hard to do sometimes....I am learning it One day at a time....So maybe one day and many more days to follow i will stop running...I have alot of strength.....Feelings are real hard at times..
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Jul 3, 2012 15:47:38 GMT -8
I believe that feelings come from what we are thinking. If we have happy thoughts, we feel happy and loving. If we think someone is wrong, should have done it different, is lazy, etc, we feel angry or disappointed. So yes, feelings are hard at times, and if we look at what we are thinking we will get a clue at why we feel the way we do.
One shortcut to all this is to feel what comes up fully when it comes up. It's the pushing of it all away that causes more suffering. Then we have feelings and the squashing down to deal with on top of the feelings. It's still my habit to push away any negative feelings I have about other people.
When I was a child I felt so lonely and sad, I had to find a way to get through the days. I got through the afternoons by watching a lot of TV. At night I used to collect all my toys and put them in bed with me. I had so many that there was hardly any room left for me. I think it was one of the first signs of codependency I had then, that I didn't feel worthy of having enough space. I crawled into my bed and I pushed away the pain by imagining that my toys loved me and that I was part of their family.
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Post by looking4direction on Jul 3, 2012 16:33:15 GMT -8
I grew up the same way---so lonely that I lived in an imaginary world---and that was how my torchbearing/love addiction/fantasy addiction was born.
It left me with no room for myself. Or my own feelings, even. Half my fantasizing was about fixing someone else or saving them or straightening them out. lol
Carol
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Jul 5, 2012 21:36:27 GMT -8
jacarandagirl...thanks for sharing...hugs to you.... Looking4direction...i felt lonely as well...i use to watch my sister play games with the other kids...i use to just watch....i always kept to myself...I had no feelings.....i didnt know what feelings were.....my feelings would always come off from other people....me too with the fantasizing and fixing and saving them.....for sure...it never worked....It was me who I needed to fix...and only with the help from my hp and everyone in these life saving 12 step programs....One day at a time....Sun  |
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Jul 6, 2012 1:29:19 GMT -8
So sobering to find out we are the one's who are unhealthy. For me it's a revelation. I honestly thought I just was having bad luck with my partner choices. Not so! It's at once kind of scary and liberating.
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Jul 6, 2012 5:18:31 GMT -8
Yes Jacarandagirl.....I learned in al anon that I was sicker than the dysfunctional person that was in my life....and that was so true and so freeing....for me too....I am grateful for them....i went into the rooms of Al anon because of them....and not knowing where else to go..and i am staying for me.....I love recovery....Sun |
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