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Post by Jacarandagirl on Sept 27, 2012 8:06:25 GMT -8
Good for you LML. I so relate to the wanting to help your PoA to recover. Today I saw a man who looked a lot like my PoA in a car in the area I used to live with him in, and it was interesting to see what happened inside me when I registered him. I saw someone who looked kind of hassled. I felt an urge inside to help. And I realised how huge that part of my addiction to him was, the desire to help this man with problems, this man who did not trust life or trust people. I saw it as possible for me to change his opinion, to be able to prove people are good to him, by being so good myself.
How weird that this is such a universal symptom of codependency. Good to know, hey!
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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 27, 2012 8:32:33 GMT -8
Jaca, it is just human, or it is for me anyway, but thru my whole 3 years of soberity and a little over a year on here, I have learned how to just let people be....and yes it hurts to see people suffering, but we cant save them from themselves.
I still have to watch myself, daily because I will jump right in and want to take over, but I have learned to first ask questions to the person, and see if they have a plan, and I will give them some time to see if they are just talking, or do they really want to recover.
If they are just wanting someone to listen to there problems, without taking some actions to improve there life, I just have to step back, because I can not handle the negative energy and the drama.
Live and Let Live....
PS: Jaca you have came along way in your recovery also, it has not been easy, but it is so rewarding...good job.
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Sept 27, 2012 9:20:05 GMT -8
Yep, thanks. I have. My recovery is still two steps forward, one step back. Whenever I step forward I think right, that's it, I'm not going back again. I'm in the clear! And then I go back and get shocked. You would think I would start to expect it, but so far not! Is this goldfish bowl syndrome a symptom of addiction do you think? I can see it's kind of childish thinking.
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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 27, 2012 9:57:56 GMT -8
Jaca, ha ha ha I like that "goldfish bowl syndrome", we cant forget where we came from, or else we will repeat our past.
I take moments like that as just keeping me aware, and if I rest on my laurels, I will be right back in the thick of my addiction (s).
It is just a reminder to let me know how much I have grown, plus it also shows me, nothing has changed, and i am not missing a thing. I really dont care for a repeat of this "love addiction" experience. painful stuff.
One day at a time. :-) :-)
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