|
|
Post by LovelyJune on Mar 21, 2011 15:02:16 GMT -8
SO much of our suffering is due in great part to simply not having a life, not being busy and occupied, or allowing ourselves to become bored. These are very difficult states to be in when trying to overcome the loss of a PoA. They are also counterproductive to real change. When boredom sets in, things like stalking, chasing, looking at old photos, dwelling on past memories, listening to old music and other similar acts take over and the next thing you know, you're deep into a mental and emotional vacuum, sucked back into the world of the PoA. Not good. Pointless.
So, this thread (inspired by Healing Ku'uipo) is for you to list some of the ways in which you kept busy today and avoided the perils of boredom! Keeping busy, no matter what the focus, helps you HEAL. It replenishes you and stifles the toxicity of boredom. And activities that not only keep you busy, but are also soul strengthening (recovery work, doing art, doing something you love, going to a spa, relaxing) are like water, soil and sunlight to a flower in need of growth.
So...share your list here. And if it's small, or non-existent, that's OK. This thread will hopefully help you to become aware of how you spend your time and help you recognize the importance of keeping busy during NC and recovery.
Today I...
taught a basic writing class,
graded papers,
wrote a letter to the editor of my local newspaper on an issue we're having in town,
talked with my mother about our eternal IBS issues (!),
wrote a food blog,
wrote a 200 word Bio for the new LA documentary website
cooked (chicken cutlets, salad and sweet potato fries),
wasted time on Facebook (need to do this less)
took kids to get haircuts and soft pretzels
wrote this post!
Today it was relatively easy to keep busy. Other days, it's not so easy!
What about you???
|
|
|
|
Post by leebriar on Mar 21, 2011 15:51:42 GMT -8
T-
Boredom was my biggest obstacle today! I didnt have any work scheduled ( I own my own business) and I was definitly feeling non productive. It didnt help that the weather here in NE Ohio was gloomy and dark..matched my mood for a good part of my day!
In spite of the above I accomplished the following:
Began and Finished an online course toward my recert requirements for my licensure.
Balanced my checkbook
Cleaned up dogpoop in my yard lol
Plucked my eye brows and shaved my legs ( a MAJOR accomplishment LOL)
Filed my nails an gave myself a manicure
Continued work on my Step 1 work
Called church regarding CODA meeting I am getting started in my town
Went to store to pick up stuff
Did some you tube searches ( LOVING Abraham Hicks Self Appreciation videos)
Made myself dinner( salad, leftover chicken breasts)
Hey looking at my list makes me feel like I accomplished quite a bit, even though I thought I had been non productive. Yay Me!
|
|
|
|
Post by overcomer on Mar 21, 2011 20:59:25 GMT -8
Aside from my work and business,
I exercise regularly,
I spend time w/ my family and friends,
I read a lot,
GOD provided me the opportunity to serve/share.
Painting/sketching,
Learning something new. : )
|
|
|
|
Post by Bo on Mar 22, 2011 10:40:14 GMT -8
Thanks for starting this thread...I think it's something great to think about, read and do!
Today I...
+ Made and enjoyed perfect cup of coffee using a French Press (a friend told me how to do it yesterday)
+ Made it to my morning French lessons...on time!
+ Drank lots of water! (after drinking too much alcohol yesterday)
+ Walked to the supermarket for exercise
+ Bought a new "red" lipstick (for spring!)...I love the new color!
+ Made a fast, easy and tasty dinner (Uncle Ben's Instant Curry Rice & I added precooked chicken pieces...yum!...drank more water.)
+ Enjoyed another great cup of (decaf) coffee after dinner, using the French press again.
It's not much really, but it was all I could manage to do today...One Day at A Time.
|
|
|
|
Post by Healing Ku'uipo on Mar 22, 2011 18:09:05 GMT -8
*。*˚★ 。 I love this!*。*˚★ 。* 。*。 • ˚ ˚ •。★
˚ ˛ •˛•*。˚ ˚ ˛★ 。* 。*★ 。* 。*
Today I got my girl to the bus on time!
Went to a therapist appointment. (Cried and got clear on some things)
Brought the garbage to the dump.
Cup of soup with parents.
*Called friend who didn't call me when she said she would-left a message...
Got Girls from school
bought more trash bags
did 2 work emails
* spoke to and had a "kind confrontation" with friend who said she would call and didn't. Went well, I clearly stated how I felt and that I needed to create healthy boundaries around this... I am Very proud of myself!
Watched Glee re run
Ate a healthy dinner, Facebook,here and bed.....
|
|
|
|
Post by LovelyJune on Mar 23, 2011 3:44:25 GMT -8
We watched Glee last night over here too, Healing!  |
|
|
|
Post by brooklynberry on Mar 23, 2011 5:14:13 GMT -8
I missed out on this! Today I have done much yet.
Yesterday I:
Went to work all day
Packed all my meals, an accomplishment for me!
Went to a sample sale w proceeds for Japan and got an ailing friend a small treat
Paid my student loan bill
Talked to both sponsors (AA and SLAA) and sponsees
Went to a 90 min Bikram yoga class
Had some 'intimate time' w my bf....sometimes a big deal for us!
Today is dissertation writing day, oh boy... Then I am speaking at a meeting tonite.
But yes, especially in the beginning, plan every freaking moment. The endless free time was te death of me. Now I have a problem of over committinng!
|
|
|
|
Post by Bo on Mar 23, 2011 13:04:15 GMT -8
Today was a much better day than yesterday,
Today I:
Went to French lessons and studied with another student after class at a cafe, sitting in the sunshine...ahh. (focus on myself, learning and growing)
Bought a birthday present and mailed it back to the States (focused on family)
Mailed off some important real estate documents (focused on my business)
Did laundry (focus on me)
Made a Mexican Taco Salad dinner...yum! (focus on me)
Bought 2 small European Coffee cups to make more coffee with my French Press
(I think my French Coffee Press is becoming my new PoA!...who needs a man when there's great coffee to make?) (focus on my French Coffee Press!)
The new tiny cups will help me keep caffeine consumption in moderation, since caffeine makes me C-R-A-Z-Y...and I know it!
Today was a wonderful day!
|
|
|
|
Post by LovelyJune on Mar 23, 2011 16:09:51 GMT -8
(I love all your references to French lessons, Bo. J'ai habite a Paris il ya 20 ans, mais je ne parle pas francais plus!)
Today was much worse than the other day....
-I wrote out all my meals, trying to keep a food journal (I suffer from IBS and am trying a new gluten free diet to see if that changes anything. Keep in mind, I eat extremely well, and am athletic, so the fact that I suffer with stomach issues feels unfair to me)
-laundry
-cleaned kitchen
-Prepped a class
-Graded a few stray papers
-reheated turkey burger for lunch and made an all fruit (pineapple, papaya, blueberry, banana) smoothie...Ahhh...
-taught class (actually enjoyed this lesson)
-dropped off legal documents to finish up a legal issue with my ex H
-picked up kids
-helped them with homework
-met D out for Chinese with the kids and got his daughter to try stir fried rice
-did a small bit of work for the company
I don't quite know why I FEEL as though I did nothing all day, when I did a lot--albeit boring, tedious stuff. And yet, with my stomach issues and all these men working on my house, I haven't been very happy lately.
KEEP POSTING EVERYONE! I absolutely love reading what everyone is up to. It's inspiring. Especially the coffee press, the french lessons, the dissertation, the eyebrow plucking, the soup with parents, the painting, and the bikram yoga...
|
|
|
|
Post by leebriar on Mar 23, 2011 16:34:21 GMT -8
Had a great day but not sure how much I accomplished.
Had a good breakfast of granola/milk ( I usually skip bfast which makes me overeat lunch, not good)
Completed and mailed invoices ( my bill collectors love this)
Went to the post office
Got an oilchange and picked up groceries
Bought myself a dozen white roses !!! ( love that Im loving ME!)
Met my oldest son for lunch and talked about LA. ( hes having problems as well!)
Had an individual session with a client
Saw my POA for a breif conversation and didnt get sucked into his drama
Recieved a text from my POA and didnt respond, painted my toenails instead lmao!
I really love seeing what you all do all day. I can actually visualize each and every one of you going about your business and daily activities. Very cool.
Lee.
|
|
|
|
Post by Healing Ku'uipo on Mar 23, 2011 18:51:45 GMT -8
Painted toenails! Excellent!
Today I got my younger daughter to the bus on time.
Re arranged the couches in my living room
Cleaned the kitchen
Dug a trench( I am building a stream and waterfall in my back yard)
Took older daughter to Chiropracter
took older daughter to Rite Aid pharmacy
Took older daughter to Gynocologist
Took older daughter home
Took older daughter to Dunkin Doughnuts
Took older daughter to work
( Can't wait till August when she gets her license!)
Picked 6 different flowers blooming in my yard for gift for a friend
Went to 'Jo Mamas' and met up with 4 girlfriends for tea
Went to Womens Healing group
Home, Bed, here.... Full Day... Feel really good right now. : )
|
|
|
|
Post by mybestme on Mar 23, 2011 18:52:13 GMT -8
Oh guys...this is SO fun! I love hearing what everyone is up to. How great!
Today I took my kids to a diner for chocolate chip pancakes before school...
I negotiated a car deal since my car died yesterday (for the last time)...
Bought cat food, a little makeup and milk at the drugstore
Saw my therapist for forty-five minutes
Cleaned and vacuumed my house
Picked up my preschooler and played a Thomas game and dress up (at her request) with a little of the new make-up I bought (she's a tomboy, so this was quite amusing and fun!).
Cleaned up some more, did laundry...
picked up my other two from school...dropped one off an activity...
went back to the car dealership and finished negotiating the deal (new car Friday, woo hoo!)...
gave my kids dinner
went out with some old friends for a dinner at a good local restaurant and had a great babysitter for my kids
was a very busy and crazy day with all that car negotiating (hard work!), but a nice day!
Depsite past hurts, despite current challenges, I LIKE life!
Peace.
MBM
Pi
Had to leave and pick up my pre-schooler...
|
|
|
|
Post by overcomer on Mar 23, 2011 19:04:28 GMT -8
I'm slowing down a bit these days bec it's my vacation.
I'm just working out,
Going to malls,
Attending fellowship,
Ministering to those who are in need,
Meeting and going out w/ my family and friends
Watching Movies and TV shows
Reading especially my new Bible (Celebrate Recovery Bible)
And of course coming to this board.
|
|
|
|
Post by reinventmyself on Mar 23, 2011 19:46:25 GMT -8
I love this documenting the day and trying to keep busy doing constructive, healthy things.
Here in lies my problem:
I tend keep busy to avoid my feelings.
I can fill a page and a half with all the things I would to do in the course of day. These are the very things I do to avoid sitting still and feeling any feelings.
God forbid I sit still or the feeling of dread and fear would creep up on me. I only feel this way when I am not in a relationship. When I am in a relationship, even being home alone I am fine.
Being single and alone is a totally different thing.
So for me. . I am learning to sit still. . . and feel. Not so fun but very necessary.
|
|
|
|
Post by LovelyJune on Mar 24, 2011 2:26:13 GMT -8
Reinvent-- SUCH a good point! So many of us do have nervous energy and do menial tasks simply to avoid ourselves. Maybe if each of us could be aware of this (maybe we're doing it, maybe we're not!) and add a moment or an hour of meditation/thinking/being still in our busy schedules, we too could face the awareness part of recovery. I know I can get caught up in busy work to the point of feeling very out of touch with myself. So I'm kind of like you...then again, I am prone to fooling around for hours avoiding work!  I see many people listing recovery meetings, therapy, going to step meetings. I'd say that's also a really beneficial thing to add to your schedule too. The one thing this list idea (mine and others) is doing, is inspiring me to want to do more meaningful things with my time. Hopefully, tonight I will post something significant. |
|
|
|
Post by Light on Mar 24, 2011 3:19:55 GMT -8
woke up early
said good morning and have a nice day to my husband
had a call from my mom
hug my daughter
been working (sending e mail and working at the PC)
Thought very little about my PoA
Wrote a post on the board about facing myself
Joked with my co-workers
phoned to my husband to say hallo
reflected about myself and my willingness to be stronger
...I'll continue later, second half of the day
Light
|
|
|
|
Post by Healing Ku'uipo on Mar 24, 2011 13:06:52 GMT -8
Reinvent,
I have a great book called : Don't just do something, sit there by. By Sylvia Boorstein
Love the Title!
|
|
|
|
Post by Healing Ku'uipo on Mar 24, 2011 13:08:02 GMT -8
( Just 1 by) : )
|
|
|
|
Post by Bo on Mar 24, 2011 14:48:27 GMT -8
I love to read these posts too, they are all very inspiring and posting helps me to see and REALize that I can be okay without taking a "hit" from a PoA. I see that there are so many other things to do to feel good, even if it's just being still and feeling my feeling. (Thanks Reinvent) And if all else fails I can always paint my toe nails, dig a trench or make a pineapple, papaya, blueberry, banana smoothie! I love it all. Who needs a PoA?
Telmita, nice seeing French on the board. Interesting that you lived here 20 years ago.
J'habite à France aujourd'hui, et je parle français--pas bien.
(I live in France today, and I speak--French not well!) So, I started off Today:
+ With my French Coffee Press waiting for me when I woke up, ready to serve another great cup of coffee.
+ More French Lessons (arrived on time)
+ Meeting with the Instructor after class to discuss a project she has for me to teach English
+ Rushed off to an afternoon Al-non meeting, where the topic just happened to be Step 8 and 9, the exact step I am working! I read and heard alot of good stuff [Sometimes changing our behavior is a better than making an apology] that will get me unstuck from Step 9. I believe more and more that working the Steps is a Spiritual process...something happened and changed in my life after Step 3 (with the God of my own understanding), and there's no turning back now, as I work Step 9.
+ Craving hot dogs for lunch so I made them at home (sometimes I miss the U.S.A.)
+ Took my vitamins
+ Took a short nap, and actually got up afterwards!
+ Met a friend for Dinner...it was with a girlfriend who is always happy to see me, but I did kinda wish for a split second that she were a new man in my life meeting me for dinner. That thought lasted just a few seconds, then quickly disappeared as we started laughing (as soon as we met) about something as silly as crossing the street. We enjoyed great conversation, laughter and a great meal.
+ answered a few work/business emails
+ made a few business phone calls
+ studied and did a little homework
|
|
|
|
Post by LovelyJune on Mar 24, 2011 15:44:19 GMT -8
Alors! How exciting that you live in France, Bo. You'll have to confess your reason why you're there. I always love to know why someone is an expatriate.
Here's my list today...it was busy...
-Dealt with workers (only 6 more days until my addition is done!)
-Wrote the blog for the Love Addict site (I consider that pure procrastination)
-Wrote a health blog on the joy of fiber (corporate work that I get paid for!)
-Did more corporate work
-made lentil soup and peanut butter sandwich for lunch (fiber!)
-talked to a heating and oil guy for an hour. We're switching from oil heat to natural gas!
-wrote in my food journal
-took my kids out to PJs for dinner
-nice HOT shower
-helped son study
-will finish reading my book tonight
Lately, I feel as though my life is so BLAND!
|
|
|
|
Post by leebriar on Mar 24, 2011 17:06:18 GMT -8
T- Your probably feeling bland from all that fiber!! Haha!!
Ok, heres my list:
Slept 8 hours straight without waking up! ( Major accomplishment since I havent slept a whole nght since POA and I broke up 6 months ago)
Went into office where I do some contract consulting work.
Dropped off some audio visual equipment that I borrowed from a friend
Came home, fed and pottied dogs ( I raise German Shepherds, currently have two)
Ate leftover from Olive Garden ( my son took me to lunch yesterday!)
Went to a Womens Healing Group.
Home now, bath, read and off to bed.
Good night all!
Lee.
|
|
|
|
Post by overcomer on Mar 25, 2011 7:47:06 GMT -8
I'm really busy today.
I had an important family gathering.
We ate and discussed many things.
I saw a famous comedian and his ex-partner actress. She's single for such a long time but joyful
and satisfied. She took care of herself well. She is inspiring.
|
|
|
|
Post by Bo on Mar 25, 2011 13:39:58 GMT -8
Telmita, I thought I came to France, just because I loved Paris and have always dreamed of living here, but thanks to working on my Recovery, I see…
I came to Paris, to discover that no matter how far I run away from a past life and no matter how many beautiful, or exquisite things I surround myself with, and no matter who’s high society elbows I rub; Joy, peace and happiness do not rub off, is not something that can be purchased or received from a lover, nor entered into through a fancy French doorway.
I came here to discover that joy, peace and happiness cannot be found sitting at the dinner table of a fancy restaurant far, far, away from home. (no matter who’s hand is resting on my knee underneath the table)
I came to Paris to discover that no matter what surrounds me on the outside, if unhappiness, insecurity, fear, and neediness are deep on the inside, then unhappiness, fear and neediness will be near on the outside.
I came to Paris to discover that by having the courage to walk away from all the distractions and beautiful things I thought would bring me happiness is a very scary thing to do which actually leads to real Happiness, Peace and Contentment; and following through with No Contact is a pathway to Peace.
I guess I came here to face the reality of me, and in facing me, I am finding the True Source of my Joy, Peace and Happiness.
I am here discovering that having nothing (no relationship, no earned income, no “status” symbols) leaves me with nothing to face except my neediness, addiction and unhappiness.
I’m here to dedicate myself to my own Recovery.
Maybe that’s the Real reason I am LIVING in France…maybe that’s the reason you asked for a “confession”? I’m also here because being here was always a dream of mine. (Was I supposed to wake up?...hmm? I think Yes, and face reality.)
More will be revealed in this Spiritual Program of Recovery, Thanks for asking and inspiring me to “confess”.
Today I:
+ Finished and posted my Step 9.
|
|
|
|
Post by LovelyJune on Mar 25, 2011 15:04:58 GMT -8
I came to Paris to discover that no matter what surrounds me on the outside, if unhappiness, insecurity, fear, and neediness are deep on the inside, then unhappiness, fear and neediness will be near on the outside. Oh! I nearly cried reading this. I know this is not the place for this...I'll send more in a PM, but I have always had such an attachment to Paris, and when I lived there in '89, I had come to pretty much the same realization. Oh Paris! Thanks for reminding me of its power! |
|
|
|
Post by overcomer on Mar 27, 2011 7:05:39 GMT -8
I met a family member, We ate and watched a movie, I had a new beautiful haircut and special hair treatment, I shopped and found nice clothes. I attended a fellowship service w/ my long-time good friends, We chatted and ate together. I had a great time/day!  (I'm still on my vacation) |
|
|
|
Post by LovelyJune on Mar 27, 2011 14:52:49 GMT -8
-slept in
-cleaned the house
-laundry
-food shopping
-made early dinner for my whole extended family (we usually rotate making spaghetti and meatball dinner at someone's house. This Sunday it was my turn)
-sang old folky tunes while D and my brother played guitar
-kept my 4 month old nephew from crying by bouncing him around to the Gypsy King's
-taking a break from a nice, busy Sunday now
|
|
|
|
Post by Healing Ku'uipo on Mar 27, 2011 18:33:41 GMT -8
Today is a Big work day for me.
worked with jr.high kids making boxes to put affirmations in
home for 5 min.
Baby shower for co worker and friend
home 5 min
went to a gathering and took an intense sauna alone and prayed to release blocks and let more recovery in...
home 5 min
work again: this time with High school youth group
home 5 min
shopping for lunches with youngest daughter
home 10 min
Pick up daughter from work
write in Blog, here, bed....
Yesterday I crashed a wedding and heard the vows with New Ears...Ears in Recovery and sobriety. The vows I heard are possible....
|
|
|
|
Post by brooklynberry on Mar 27, 2011 18:44:43 GMT -8
am I the only person that has to do LESS?
I do too much and never get anything done!
Talk about a fear of commitment!
|
|
|
|
Post by Healing Ku'uipo on Mar 27, 2011 18:55:17 GMT -8
In my womens group I do 7 of us Need to "get off the couch" more
and 3 women need to get "on the couch"more....
I would like to do more painting and less driving : )
|
|
|
|
Post by overcomer on Mar 28, 2011 6:52:26 GMT -8
-I fix my clothes
-Went to a mall to exercise
-Went to another far mall to eat w/ my family
-Went to my family's house
-Went out w/ them to a mall again
-Checked out some places for business purposes
|
|
