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Post by akdkumar on Jul 24, 2019 9:22:14 GMT -8
Namaste:
I know it is not possible to feel otherwise even if you want to, when your feelings are coming out from deep inside you.
I was just putting in words how in my life how similar incidents impacted me.(for example, being abused by a male in my childhood)
There are different type of persons- feeling oriented and thinking oriented. I do not know which ~w~ belong to. I have appeared to myself to be a thinking oriented person. hence my reaction. For a feeling oriented person as you said, feelings are precious and important.
It for ~w~ to choose what suits her- she can drop my approach if it does not help.
There was no response from others to ~w~'s post: so I reacted.
As regards Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I am a layman in psychology and would need to research it(google it) to know what it is.
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Post by Namaste on Jul 24, 2019 16:23:41 GMT -8
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy* looks at the relationship between your thinking and your depression and anxiety. It was created for those who do not want to take medication. It is a scientific version of positive thinking (Dr. Peale)
Transpersonal Therapy explores your childhood with an "enlightened witness" (Alice Miller) as an alternative to medication.
I am a thinking person and I tried both. I practice both. Both helped. I need both. I am a work in progress.
Add to this Transactional Analysis by Eric Berne* and Thomas Harris.* This involves getting in touch with your inner child and inner teenager (ego states) and then learning to let your adult ego state make decisions for you. The child and the teenager are the love addict and the adult is your recovery ego state.
Feeling Good by Burns
The Power of Positive Thinking by Peale
The Drama of the Gifted Child by Miller
The Games People Play by Berne
I'm ok; you're ok by Harris.
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Post by kissers on Jul 30, 2019 17:48:32 GMT -8
My sibling molested me when I was 12 years old. I am very angry about it. I suppressed it for 30 years. It ruined my life.
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Post by Sexlessw on Jul 31, 2019 15:45:10 GMT -8
Kissers:
Do you still interact with this sibling? Have you been through any sort of talk therapy about it?
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Post by kissers on Jul 31, 2019 16:06:59 GMT -8
Sometimes I do. I have not been through any talk therapy about it.
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Post by Sexlessw on Aug 2, 2019 12:00:28 GMT -8
Kissers:
Thank you for answering my questions. This is a difficult topic to discuss!
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Post by ~w~ on May 10, 2020 14:53:38 GMT -8
I had flashback of my father on Top of me .. but I couldnt remeber as hard as i tried , then i though - felt that my Grandad raped me , I have a lot of feelings about this, I felt it was real but I dont know, I still self doubt myself arround those 2 people .
My uncle molested me , And another One use to chaise me And ridicule my private parts taking panties off ~8- 11.
I was raped 2 after that. But 1 I Only doscivered with help of therapist because I completely forgot it. Or was In Denyal about it.
I like sex , I was promiscous in my teens and had many relationships , was thinking of going to the sex trade as I like sex . I am In recovery from Slaa ,
Other issue is food that is difficult to work on. I been celibate for 2 years .
I think this was language of my Love , Or How I bonded with my Family of sex addicts .
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edoh
New Member
Attends the Friday Men's Zoom and some One Day At a Time Zoom, Hosts One Day Sunday evening meeting
Posts: 22
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Post by edoh on Feb 28, 2021 17:18:23 GMT -8
I grew up with alcoholic parents, a psychologically absent father and a malignant narcissistic mother who used verbal, physical, and sexual abuse to terrorize very young children to make them totally compliant with her every wish and demand. She was completely boundary-less.
My father died right after I graduated from high school. I was set up to go to a college 800 miles from my home. (All my brothers and sisters got the hell out of that house as soon as they were physically able. I was the only one left there.) The night my father died, my mother asked me to fix her drinks like my father always used to do. When it came time for bed she told me to come sleep with her. My parents slept in twin beds next to each other in the same bedroom. I started to get into my father's bed and she told me no to come sleep next to her in the same twin bed.
I have been in therapy for 20 plus years. I'm in CoDa and LAA and also reading through The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk and also COMPLEX PTSD From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. The coping style that I adopted to survive my home of origin was Fawn and Flight to use Pete Walker's categories.
I have concluded that my mother was trying to manipulate things so that I wouldn't go off to college and leave her alone. She was trying to lure me into a sex trap to keep me tied to her. Fortunately one of my older sisters realized what was going on and made sure that I got out of there and off to college. My mother did not lift a pinky to help me get ready to leave for college.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 1, 2021 17:06:52 GMT -8
What a story. Reminds me of my own childhood. Alcohol, codependency, emotional and covert incest. Thanks for sharing this.
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Ɖσмιиιc
New Member
Слава Україні 🇺🇦
Posts: 28 
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jun 20, 2023 16:36:25 GMT -8
I started to have s-x with a neighborhood girl my age when I was 5. It was not normal s-x. I can't give details because I'm so ashamed. Anyway, it started a long porn and incest issue. I was attracted to my mom. I exposed myself to my mom. I had s-x with my cousins (girls my age). It's difficult to write this stuff without revisiting and getting aroused. It's sick. I'm sick. I don't have any pedo tendancies. I am just warped that I think all women and men are sex objects. Porn teaches me that, the songs, and stuff I see on TV teach me this. Women who wear revealing clothing and say "my body, you should not look at me" really piss me off but I know the problem is me. I'm conflicted. I have had so much drama and put my wife through hell. She is still wife me and know my past. I have so far 3 emotional affairs and this is what brought me here.
PS. my mother also walked nude in front of me and took a bath nude and I remember her shaving her private parts. It's crazy what I can recall but my father also walked nude in front of me.
I want to believe God loves me but I feel very conflicted. I want to love women in a Christlike love and not in a lust/love. This is my goal. Thanks for listening.
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“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it elsewhere." Buddha
