Article: How to Get Rid of Obsession

Some things I would do early on is I would tell my head to Shut Up and I would also set a time frame, ok you have so much time, and then after that I am moving on with my task. And this made me become more aware of what I was doing and thinking.

We have to form new healthy grooves in our brain, we the obsessive thoughts have consumed our thoughts.

Yes and visa versa, because nothing stays the same for too long.

I know I was obsessed with trying to find out why my poa, did not or could not see what a good person I was. But what I did not know and what I know now is, he was not interested in love at all, love was the last thing he was interested in. He gets pleasure out of causing other people pain.

I read a Maya Angelou quote the other day, and it has just stuck in my head, and it is so simple, but it makes perfect sense to me today.

"Never trust someone who says they love you, when they don't even love themselves".

This was like another lightbulb moment for me, any person who can treat another person the way my poa did, all this manipulation and lies, and just mean and nasty stuff, does not love anyone, not even himself. So this also makes him a sad person to me now. I have come so far in 3 years, but with a lot of work, and reading, it all makes perfect sense to me now.

This whole ordeal was never about me as a person, or the person that I am on the inside, it was a lot about him being able to control and humiliate another human being, and this is what is going on, on the inside of him. It is a very dark existenence, and I am glad I am out of it.

So for me a person who has a lot of love to give other human beings, it never crossed my mind that other human beings sometimes don't have the capacity to love, I just did not understand this and I still don't, but somethings are just not meant to be understood, we just have to accept it and move on.

It has taken me along time to get to where I am today, and a lot of prayers, and leaning on my higher power, god to get to this place, and he is finally putting healthy men in my path, (not love interest), just healthy men, who really know how to treat and appreciate women, for who they are. It is very comforting to see this now.

My poa was the first person that I ever let treat me the way he did, but I thought I was safe because it was over the phone. And he did the most damage, but the damage was only temporary, it felt like I was going to die at first. I trusted the wrong person, missed all the red flags, was too trusting, and it was just all around a bad experience.

But the positive in all of this, I will be able to help so many other women who are going thru the same things, so for that I am very grateful.

I am reposting this, for the newcomers who are still struggling with the obsessions. We have to practice on a daily basis sometimes minutes and seconds in order to get the obsessive thoughts to lessen. It happened for me and it will happen for you as well.

But we have to make a life for ourselves, go for a walk, or start going to exercise classes, yoga, or meditation classes, we have to form new grooves in our brain, where the obsessions has been. We have to learn how to stop our thoughts, and we have to just do something. Being by ourselves, and expecting that things will just magically disappear is not going to work.

I did the same things, and being alone is the worse thing to do, I would get on my pity pot and say why me? Well now that I am on the other side, why not me? My poa did not have the capacity to love anyone, not even himself, and with a lot of work I realize the way he treated me had nothing to do with me. I had to become the person that he was attracted to in the first place. And I am that person once again. I love me once again.

We can not keep beating ourselves up thinking this is all of our fault, it is not. Hold your head up and take some healthy action for your life and your recovery.

Think in terms of maybe you were too good for him, and he knew this all along, he could have never given you what you wanted, but he did not have the courage to tell you this, so he just walked away, don't take on all of the negative energy of your poa.