Food

Food has defintely been an issue for me in the past 2 years. Overeating & leaning on carbs thorugh the pain of LA & LA reccovery. It's so hopeful to know that there can be real freedom from that too.

Also on list of tops is this strange addiction to rest, over rest, like I have this phobia of getting too tired. I've spent several exhausting years because of my codependency & LA & remember fantasizing about sleep. Also in 1st grade as a punishment or control mechanism I was not allowed to sleep for an entire night & it felt like torture, my parents took turns sitting in the living room for a night waking me up if I dosed off. This over resting thing has really hindered my life & because I'm usually really not tired enough to sleep, it enables my fantasy addiction. Really hoping to release this thing through the steps.

Yes, an addictive personality for sure. It's great there is specific tools for a variety of addictions.

Thank you for the information. The article was good.

Let's talk about food addictions . . .

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compulsive eating (stuffing feelings)

compulsive overeating (can't stop)

binging

purging

anorexia

I talked about this in the other thread about the addictive personality. I have done all of these.

The roots of our relationship with food run deep.

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The following is my Overeaters Anonymous qualification. It is only one story among many and I tell you this to explain the difference between compulsive eating and just eating a little bit too much.

When I was ten my mother baked a cake and I licked the bowl. The next day I went to the store with money from my piggy bank and bought a box of cake mix. In a trance, I baked the cake and licked the bowl, thereby recreating a bonding moment with my mom. I ate the whole box of raw cake mix. I could not stop even when I was full and my stomach hurt. Afterwards I was filled with shame. To get rid of the shame I picked a fight with my sister (transference) and started fantasizing about dinner.

I was an overweight child and got teased a lot. As an adult, my highest weight was 310. In 1982 I lost 160 lbs in OA over a period of 2 years. When I started to gain the weight back I panicked and became bullimic. Then I got depressed over a PoA and became anorexic. I had a nervous breakdown and had to hospitalized. By 1986 I had gained all the weight back and stayed home all the time except for work. I was ashamed.

Finally, I went back to OA and lost the weight again. For the last ten years
I have maintained my 150 (5'9" lb frame). My appetite is under control. I believe God replaced my appetite with his love for me. Eventually I learned to love myself as much as God did.

ps, if anyone wants the links to the videos IM me. I will send them to you.

RRR

Byron Katie did a really interesting piece with a woman about overeating. The woman was saying that she ate for comfort, and BK was asking her if it was really comfort that she got when she overate. The woman thought about it and then admitted that actually what she got when she overate was DIScomfort. So it wasn't actually true for her that the food was comforting. I found that very interesting, cos I would have said the same thing.

What about eating like a protection,i rember my father would eat like that.nervous and stressed always scared deep inside.
He would stand and eat,munch on anything.
His mother was a monster he was severly neglected emotionally.
My mother was not to that extend but when i was 18 and was about to end a relationship that was forbiden i started eating like crazy.out of the blue.
I was slim untill 18.
Now im size 16 high 177 cm.
I never tried dieting.until now.well once last year and lost 5 kg.the fear i felt was so deep.i was afraid i will die.when i saw i lived lol i was proud.i got low sugar hits bf now no bc i stoped eating sugar as much in anything.
My food intake was most times home cooked and fresh but i would reach food for every lil discomfort.
When in fat im protected so im scared to loose weight deep down inside.what will happen if im slim.what will change?

Well i quess some addictions like over exersizing in end have better results.
Like my mother destracting herself with over working,she earned a lot so this is a better outcome if instead she choosed prostitution or sex addiction.
Or eating.
So i guess there are variables of addictions and consequences.
You are lucky you choose healtier one.

yup. The same addictive / unhealthy behaviors apply no matter if its a POA, over eating, under eating, drinking, sex, drugs....whatever the case may be.  Its all the same underlying issue.....addictive behavior (filling a void) and low self worth. That's where the focus needs to be.....not on the symptoms...ie, addictive behaviors

Agreed, terryt !

So many folks go from one addiction to another, because the root cause still exists. My ex-POA cross addicted numerous times -- from drugs, to alcohol, to sex and pornograpy, and now he has a full-blown gambling addiction ($60,000 in gambling debts and may have to declare bankruptcy).

I always say, one has to stop the behaviors to stop the addiction (i.e. stop seeing the POA, or stop going to casinos, or stop contacting your local drug dealer, or stop hanging out at bars) -- but (for me), I had to also get to the root cause of my addiction (which I did through intense psychodynamic therapy).

Again, speaking only for myself, I had to stop the behaviors, seek out the root cause of why I was seeking solace in toxic addictions, and tap into my HP's guidance because I cannot do this alone. I simply cannot. It is an ongoing process, this recovery/healing journey -- but slowly I am being set free from the bondage and chains of addiction...

HaveFaith

Wow terryt i had this thoughts million times.
Why i had to go thru this childhood?
Why my sister in law had it so much easier?
Why i had endure what i endured and so many more questions?

Good job havefaith!
What was your plus addiction food too?

There are three kinds of incest.

1. Sexual trauma including intercourse and any other sexual act. My daughter was raped at the age of 5 and her rapist damaged her female organs. As a result she could not carry a child. Her womb wound not hold the weight of a child. Thank God, after losing her first baby, she got on bed rest the next time and then has a procedure for her third child that sewed up her cervix like a turkey. Today, as a result, God has given me two beautiful granddaughters.

2. Covert incest is where there is sexual energy between the parent and the child. No body gets touched, but you are being molested all the same.

3. Emotional incest. This is where the roles are reversed. The child becomes the parent reassuring the parent. They used to call this "smothering."

All of this, of course, is what leads to love avoidance. Emotional intimacy feels uncomfortable and is avoided. Sometimes this leads to sex addiction as a substitute for emotional intimacy. I call this phallic intimacy.

As we are now discovering love addicts are also love avoidants. They switch from one to the other. This is why I use the term "ambivalent love addict." Check out my new book, Workbook for Love Addicts and Love Avoidants.

Blesssings Susan

Susan

I remember how I used to have a long, gruesome, daily battle with foods. I think it stemmed from being a pedophile's sexual perversion victim/survivor twice (when I was a kid and then, when I was a teenager). Looking back, if I study my history, I was more addicted to foods than any other thing or person. But the good news is my HP was able to deliver me from all my addictions and made me a whole new, healthy person...So much so that I have been helping people for decades in my own humble means in my industry and community whenever necessary.


Speaking of which, I learned that addictions are a "heart issue". It is not so much about external matter as much as what we have deep in our hearts. So once our hearts are made new; surrendered, guarded, and directed properly, everything else will follow.