Post by sunflwrs4evr on Jul 7, 2012 16:59:25 GMT -8
I have been dating someone since the beginning of May of this year...Everything was going really great....and then I realized this man wants to always be with me..just about everyday...I enjoyed being with him....I had fun ...we laughed and shared alot of good times together...
And then a few days ago....I didnt want him to stay over...my sleep has been interrupted and I wanted to just sleep alone....and he was getting clingy....which was pushing me away somewhat....i stuck to my guns and he left...which lead to texts back and forth and him eating something moldy and throwing up...apparently he brought some cereal over and he said when he looked at it...it was moldy....
over a week or so he would confine in me about having these nightmares about when he was a child....and when he told me about a couple of them on thursday..i was in tears listening to him...
he fought to try to put the dreams into words to tell me...
Our relationship has been open and honest ...we communicated everything with one another....well 2 months worth....
I told him from that moment on when he spoke about trauma and nightmares and the things his mother did when he was growing up...that i could not be his therapist/counselor...i would support him and be here for him....
he did make some calls to see a psychiatrist/counselor and he is still in that process of making appts...
he promised he wouldnt bring me into this any further than being his girlfriend and being there for him..
well i have pretty much pushed him away because he is and was bringing me into his trauma....and i can absolutely not go there....
He noticed the distanced between us...and we talked about it...and he would make these comments that i had to bite my lip...and he then realized how he was pulling me in there to rescue him...
around 3x tonight...he cut me off when i was going to share my feelings with him....that surprised me ..cause he hasnt done that up until tonight...i just mentioned it to him.....and i started cleaning up the kitchen and livingroom.....and he wanted to discuss it and the whole time....he continued to bring up stuff he said he wouldnt bring up.....he promised that he would only bring the trauma in the therapists office...i just said i wasnt ready to be vulvernable again for him to cut me off...and when i was ready i would try it again and share it with him....well one thing lead to another...and i asked him to leave...because i didnt like his tone of voice and he was again bringing me into his trauma...
I know it will be very very hard not for him to bring me into it....I didnt realize that was exactly what he was doing...thank God I know now.....
but he left and said some words...like this is all his mom's poison and he was sorry and i should call or text him when i want to see him again.
I saw a dark side to him that i never saw before....I saw the little scared boy.....but i cant save him.....
The problem I am having is.....well we spoke about it and got it solved as far as him not bringing up his past....but what i was struggling with was his pain....i knew i couldnt save him...or fix him..or change him...or even wake him up....i explained to him...that i was powerless over his pain....and i couldnt help him other than just be there for him....and support him on his decisions and how he would get help...
I have just seen a flip flop of a man....turn into a hurt and traumatized little boy....and i have no idea what to do.....other than pray for him...
And take care of myself.....Sun
And then a few days ago....I didnt want him to stay over...my sleep has been interrupted and I wanted to just sleep alone....and he was getting clingy....which was pushing me away somewhat....i stuck to my guns and he left...which lead to texts back and forth and him eating something moldy and throwing up...apparently he brought some cereal over and he said when he looked at it...it was moldy....
over a week or so he would confine in me about having these nightmares about when he was a child....and when he told me about a couple of them on thursday..i was in tears listening to him...
he fought to try to put the dreams into words to tell me...
Our relationship has been open and honest ...we communicated everything with one another....well 2 months worth....
I told him from that moment on when he spoke about trauma and nightmares and the things his mother did when he was growing up...that i could not be his therapist/counselor...i would support him and be here for him....
he did make some calls to see a psychiatrist/counselor and he is still in that process of making appts...
he promised he wouldnt bring me into this any further than being his girlfriend and being there for him..
well i have pretty much pushed him away because he is and was bringing me into his trauma....and i can absolutely not go there....
He noticed the distanced between us...and we talked about it...and he would make these comments that i had to bite my lip...and he then realized how he was pulling me in there to rescue him...
around 3x tonight...he cut me off when i was going to share my feelings with him....that surprised me ..cause he hasnt done that up until tonight...i just mentioned it to him.....and i started cleaning up the kitchen and livingroom.....and he wanted to discuss it and the whole time....he continued to bring up stuff he said he wouldnt bring up.....he promised that he would only bring the trauma in the therapists office...i just said i wasnt ready to be vulvernable again for him to cut me off...and when i was ready i would try it again and share it with him....well one thing lead to another...and i asked him to leave...because i didnt like his tone of voice and he was again bringing me into his trauma...
I know it will be very very hard not for him to bring me into it....I didnt realize that was exactly what he was doing...thank God I know now.....
but he left and said some words...like this is all his mom's poison and he was sorry and i should call or text him when i want to see him again.
I saw a dark side to him that i never saw before....I saw the little scared boy.....but i cant save him.....
The problem I am having is.....well we spoke about it and got it solved as far as him not bringing up his past....but what i was struggling with was his pain....i knew i couldnt save him...or fix him..or change him...or even wake him up....i explained to him...that i was powerless over his pain....and i couldnt help him other than just be there for him....and support him on his decisions and how he would get help...
I have just seen a flip flop of a man....turn into a hurt and traumatized little boy....and i have no idea what to do.....other than pray for him...
And take care of myself.....Sun
