Post by bklynrn on Mar 31, 2012 16:21:39 GMT -8
I'm quoting from my book here ''The Courage To Heal'' page 130..I really love this book. This is everything I have been talking about here and doing in my own work....
Buried grief poisons, limiting your capacity for joy, for spontaneity, for life. An essential part of healing from traumatic experiences is to express and share your feelings. When you were young,you could not do this. To fully feel the agony,the terror,the fury, without any support would have been too devastating to bear. And so you supressed those feelings. But you have not gotten rid of them.
To release these painful feelings and to move forward in your life,it is necessary,paradoxically,to go back and relive the experiences you had as a child--to grieve,this time with support of a caring person and with the support of your adult self.
What you need to heal is not fancy or esoteric. It's remarkably simple, though for many survivors it has been hard to find. All you need is safety and support that enables you to go back to the source of your pain,to feel the feelings you had to repress, to be heard,to be comforted and to learn to comfort yourself.
And in this way,a transformation takes place. Once you have fully felt the feeling, known it and lived in it, shared it, acted it, given it full expression, the feeling begins to transform. The way to move beyond the grief and pain is to experience them fully, to honor them, to express them with someone else, thus assimilating what happend to you as a child into your adult life.
About Grief:
You may feel foolish crying over events that happend so long ago. But grief waits for expression. When you do not allow yourself to honor that grief, it festers. It can limit your vitality, make you sick, decrease your capacity for love.
Buried grief poisons, limiting your capacity for joy, for spontaneity, for life. An essential part of healing from traumatic experiences is to express and share your feelings. When you were young,you could not do this. To fully feel the agony,the terror,the fury, without any support would have been too devastating to bear. And so you supressed those feelings. But you have not gotten rid of them.
To release these painful feelings and to move forward in your life,it is necessary,paradoxically,to go back and relive the experiences you had as a child--to grieve,this time with support of a caring person and with the support of your adult self.
What you need to heal is not fancy or esoteric. It's remarkably simple, though for many survivors it has been hard to find. All you need is safety and support that enables you to go back to the source of your pain,to feel the feelings you had to repress, to be heard,to be comforted and to learn to comfort yourself.
And in this way,a transformation takes place. Once you have fully felt the feeling, known it and lived in it, shared it, acted it, given it full expression, the feeling begins to transform. The way to move beyond the grief and pain is to experience them fully, to honor them, to express them with someone else, thus assimilating what happend to you as a child into your adult life.
About Grief:
You may feel foolish crying over events that happend so long ago. But grief waits for expression. When you do not allow yourself to honor that grief, it festers. It can limit your vitality, make you sick, decrease your capacity for love.
