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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 23, 2011 9:52:19 GMT -8
Whenever one finds oneself inclined to bitterness, it is a sign of emotional failuire.
We sometimes meet bitter & cynical people who may amuse us for a while. They seem so sure of themselves & so full of the experience of the world. But when we get to know these people better, we realize that they are really frightened of feeling & fearful of life. Their bitterness masks an inability to be in touch with themselves & others.
Our recovery helps us to release our emotions & respond honestly & directly to others & the world around us. Each day we expand our emotional range because we are no longer afraid.
I know that bitterness & cynicism are insults to life; I want to continue to reach out to the world with true feelings. ;-)
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Post by margot on Dec 23, 2011 22:19:48 GMT -8
Those are good words.
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Post by Havefaith on Dec 24, 2011 5:31:10 GMT -8
Agreed -- bitterness and cynicism leave a person desperately stuck and miserable. There is no moving forward when one lives within the confines of these negative emotions.
I prefer to live with of Truth and Grace. They free the soul and allow for growth and love -- love for one's HP, for self, for others.
HaveFaith
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Post by overcomer on Dec 24, 2011 5:48:35 GMT -8
Agreed -- bitterness and cynicism leave a person desperately stuck and miserable. There is no moving forward when one lives within the confines of these negative emotions. I prefer to live with of Truth and Grace. They free the soul and allow for growth and love -- love for one's HP, for self, for others. HaveFaith Amen! And thanks Carolyn for this thread.  |
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 24, 2011 6:13:12 GMT -8
I hope it does help others, b/c this it what happened to me on monday. I did not realize this until yesterday, but a lady i was trying to be friends with really upset me, and b/c of her actions and shutting me down, cause me to start feeling a little depressed. And now that I reflect back on our short friendship, she was cynical and bitter, she thinks she a little better than others, (I dont put up with that). I held my bounds and I dont need her in my life, if she does not want to hear my problems and what is going on in my life, dont think iam just going to listen to your problems. Im learning as I go, but I will notice the red flags alot sooner from now on. I have to have healthy people in my life now.
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bdzc
Junior Member
Posts: 61
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Post by bdzc on Dec 25, 2011 13:39:58 GMT -8
I'm guilty of indulging in both bitterness and cynicism...I had never thought of them as behaviours that mask fear or an inability to connect with people, although it makes sense now and has a lot to do with distrust. I have to say though that I'm bitter or cynical sometimes because I have a generally negative outlook towards life...but not because I think better of myself than others. Anyway, they ARE negative emotions and never help anyone Thanks for your words carolyn! Here's to being healthy all over! |
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Post by looking4direction on Dec 25, 2011 15:35:23 GMT -8
I empathize with your pain and commend you on your journey toward healthier patterns/relationships.
It takes a lot of courage to feel and to express feelings.
Carol
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Post by margot on Dec 25, 2011 18:37:12 GMT -8
That's good Carolyn. It's also how I feel...........wanting only those who care and who are sincere and helpful around me. I too, no longer have time for critics for critics' sake, the cynical (even tho I am trying to overcome it myself) and for people who have no time for me. I realize we're all human and are evolving and learning and growing and changing hopefully into better people and that because of this I must be somewhat tolerant and patient but I don't have to stand for those who are not trying to be good. Personally, I have a long way to go to measure up to my own standards but I only have to work it one step at a time, one day at a time and with help from my HP. Thanks for bringing this up and for listening to me. Carolyn, thanks for being a good role model.
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Post by rlynn60 on Nov 20, 2012 5:15:15 GMT -8
I'm new to this site and found your recent post very helpful. I'm a 52 year old woman who likes to think I learned my lessons from some very bad experiences in life, I'm a successful professional and should know how to handle my anger by now. I have recently been involved with a man who has some emotional problems, depressions, 4 years divorced and still needing the attention of women (he's a doctor too which makes his ego issues even worse) . I left him two months ago but the entire time he has been making very sincere efforts to reconcile. I recently softened and agreed to meet with him to find our way back together. We had a wonderful connection and really came back together. However, something he wasnt telling me was that after only a few weeks apart he had met (match.com addict) and slept with someone else and despite saying he loved me and wanted us back, and my now agreeing to try....he then said he had to 'decide' what to do about me vs the other woman. I became furious and acted in a way that I am terribly ashamed of.....angry, name calling emails and the like. This man has no ability to accept or show anger so he now thinks I am one of those crazy angry women. While there's no way at this point that I would want him back, I am devastated that I leave him showing such a bad side of myself and giving him that memory of me rather than feeling any sort of remorse over how he has treated me. Any comfort, or suggestion for help, you can provide would be greatly appreciated!
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Post by CodepNomore on Nov 20, 2012 5:58:25 GMT -8
It's not your problem nor within your control how he sees you. And big deal everyone got messed up and got mad. Besides it's not like that he's an angel, he has a part in it too...He played with you. So just learn from it and move on.
Pls go to newcomers thread and post your story and recovery goals there. Thank you.
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