Carrying the torch until it burns you again...

confused
New Member

Posts: 4

Carrying the torch until it burns you again... Nov 16, 2011 23:44:17 GMT -8

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Post by confused on Nov 16, 2011 23:44:17 GMT -8

I'm trying to develop my own identity away from my PoA...set up some activities that don't involve her, get out into my own opinions and my own plans...

The thing is, I look at my life outside of her and in the context of my future and I'm having a lot of difficulty pinning down a lot of hope right now.

I dunno. My facebook feed and RSS reader right now are all news stories about how everyone seems pretty much to hate each other. Politically, economically, religiously, morally, emotionally, it feels like everyone's on one side or the other of some line drawn in the sand, and all everyone wants to do is yell at each other. I called my congress representative's office today about an issue and basically got a bored aide giving a form response. I feel completely powerless to get above the yelling and it scares me. I don't even want to be an activist; I just want to not feel completely out of control...

I'm feeling seriously depressed right now and I know I'm backsliding because of it, like I've got to cling to the few people I'm close to because the whole rest of the world is a big ball of anger.

I think I have either too little perspective or too much. Usually I'm seeing too little, just focusing on my PoA...but then when I look around all I see is a too-big confrontational world that doesn't care. And then that gets me depressed, which makes me think it's even worse, which gets me more down...

I honestly feel a little calmer reading this forum just because it means people are out there who are trying to help each other rather than the other way round...it's hard to see it these days.

Jacarandagirl
Elder Member

Posts: 2,322

Carrying the torch until it burns you again... Nov 17, 2011 3:21:29 GMT -8

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Post by Jacarandagirl on Nov 17, 2011 3:21:29 GMT -8

confused, your last line is the key to your dilemma with the world- you're right, here we are trying to help ourselves and others. I don't mean this to sound pat but- Be the Change You Want to See in the World.

If you can do it, we can. If we can, you can. You're the only one you have to worry about changing though. Let others work it out for themselves. If you're doing it (working for the greater good and your own) and it looks like it's working, you'll inspire other people without even trying.

"You deserve better than something that may be comfortable for you but you already know doesn't work and that you'll be complaining about soon enough and hoping that something or someone else will do what you can't even do for yourself. You deserve better - you deserve change".
Excerpt from www.baggagereclaim.com

margot
Senior Member

Posts: 475

Carrying the torch until it burns you again... Nov 17, 2011 6:49:18 GMT -8

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Post by margot on Nov 17, 2011 6:49:18 GMT -8

Confused............take your mind away from all that stuff that is happening. Place your mind in a beautiful place, an interesting place, a place that's in harmony. If you have to.......go somewhere, even if just for a little while.

I have all my life had the feelings you're having concerning the big, bad, crazy, loud, insane, mixed up and angry world. Distancing myself from it has taken me to many places...........the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, Pikes Peak, etc. and many, many forests everywhere, all over the world, zoos in many cities, botanical gardens, museums, libraries with pictures of trees and pictures of nature and art which to me is very soothing, watching people skating in the park in the winter time, watching surfers ride the waves, watching children in the playground, watching neighbor's dogs playing, watching the sun dance on leaves on the trees, the water.

Anything........anything to take my mind from the crazy things people do to each other. I've had success with this method of relief which some might call escape, and if so......so be it. I don't HAVE to stay and watch and hear whatever is angry and bothering me. I don't HAVE to......so I don't. I don't necessarily need the news, TV either. I can choose what news I want to know about by logging onto the net with the sound off, or listen to a little NPR in the morning. I like reading about science news and archaeology. That's interesting news to me.
Above ALL, I stay away from large crowds, especially political activists. They scare me.

I'm glad you like this forum here. It's really helped me quite a bit.

Healing Ku'uipo
Elder Member

Posts: 834

Carrying the torch until it burns you again... Nov 17, 2011 7:12:50 GMT -8

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Post by Healing Ku'uipo on Nov 17, 2011 7:12:50 GMT -8

Hello confused, Welcome to the board.
I hear ya with all the strife thats going on...
I think it's important to feel what your feeling. You must have a lot going on on many levels.

My advise is to express yourself somewhow:
Write it out. Paint it out. Take a self defense class, or boxing.

confused
New Member

Posts: 4

Carrying the torch until it burns you again... Nov 17, 2011 17:52:26 GMT -8

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Post by confused on Nov 17, 2011 17:52:26 GMT -8

Nov 17, 2011 7:12:50 GMT -8 Healing Ku'uipo said:

Write it out. Paint it out. Take a self defense class, or boxing.

Oddly enough, one of the coping things I'm trying is to start a judo class.

You all have some inspiring words to say. Thanks for listening and for pushing me and each other to grow.