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Post by almostloverr on Oct 26, 2010 7:11:00 GMT -8
I've heard of Borderline Personality Disorder being a contributor to LA, but does anyone else notice that *any* mental disorder seems to contribute? Maybe it's just because that makes someone more prone to addictions? I'd just like to hear others' thoughts on this, either objective or from experience.
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Post by candee on Oct 28, 2010 10:15:29 GMT -8
Ive realised that no matter which mental illness I have,and they usually shift and change etc etc,bleh bleh..., they all contribute to LA and LA contribites to my mental illness...
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Post by sunnybird100 on Oct 28, 2010 11:38:11 GMT -8
I've been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of four past traumas. One as a child from abusive parents, one from a rape, two from work related bullying incidents. I am currently recovering from a trauma caused by verbal and written attacks from another trauma victim. This time I've combined the trauma recovery with a new episode of love adiction. I'm amazed that I'm able to cope, but I am. My incredibly supportive husband has stepped in to help with the verbal attacks by dealing with the source after I set boundaries and limits. I have now instituted a NC rule with the POA and I have not caved in or fallen apart. I feel I've nipped this one in the bud and not only will I be all right, I will be better than I was before the attack and the recovery slip. So, yes mental illness does run in pairs, sometimes several afflictions play in. We are complicated beings with many levels of health and illness often intertwined. But we can overcome if we persist and take it one day at a time.
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Post by almostloverr on Oct 29, 2010 4:50:52 GMT -8
Oh wow...I am so incredibly sorry for all that you have been through. And even through all that, you seem to have a better handle on your LA than the rest of us, so I applaud you. I sincerely hope that everything works out well for you.
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Post by almostloverr on Nov 1, 2010 5:17:45 GMT -8
Candee, I know what you mean. Everything is such a vicious cycle. Not to mention the fact that because we're so into our LA we forget about ourselves, only making everything even more messed up. :/
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Post by sfelder on Dec 4, 2010 12:38:15 GMT -8
Hi I'm new here but this year I found out that I suffer from PTSD, depression, and anxiety and after looking on the inter net I know now I suffer from LA and also a recovering alcoholic of 12 years i feel that mental illness and addiction also contribute to LA.
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oldendances
Full Member
Newcomer Greeter
"Go Placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence"
Posts: 228
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Post by oldendances on Dec 5, 2010 6:10:44 GMT -8
Hi Sfelder,
Welcome to the LA board.
Feel free to read, post, and work the steps here. I am happy you are joining us in our journey. You can search along thread topics to find things that apply to your situation. To get to the most active recent posts, go to the bottom of the main page, under forum statistics, click on "100 most recent posts".
We recommend the book "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood. It is very eye-opening about our lives and situations. Understanding love Addiction can help us cope with it.
Let us know how you are doing.
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Post by person on Apr 14, 2011 9:28:51 GMT -8
I think my POA has a mental illness, some kind of psychosis. This, in my mind, was the big reason for our relationship not working.
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Post by brooklynberry on Apr 14, 2011 10:08:33 GMT -8
it's not so much your PoA's mental illness as our decision to interact with the person w mental illness. That's where recovery comes in. What we do - not what they are or do.
I think most people have symptoms of some mental illness or another.
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Post by LovelyJune on Apr 14, 2011 11:36:31 GMT -8
I agree. He may have a mental illness, but where are you in your life that you are willing to have a relationship with someone who has a mental illness (one, specifically that is detrimental to you).
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Post by person on Apr 14, 2011 22:11:51 GMT -8
I tried for 1 year and a half and did not want to believe that it would not work. Until I hit the hard wall, I would not stop. I have been staying away from him since Valentine's day. But day is not going by of me not thinking about him and wishing he would email or call or came back. Each day is a struggle, but so far I have not contacted him but am tempted every day. So, I am not willing any more, but I guess I am wishing that he would somehow magically recover.
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Post by overcomer on Apr 14, 2011 22:38:55 GMT -8
person: I WAS AWFUL before w/ my ex-POA but I'm much better now than I used to. I believe THERE IS HOPE FOR A CHANGE if a person is willing to get proper help, especially from HP.
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Post by LovelyJune on Apr 15, 2011 3:25:16 GMT -8
Hang in there, Person. Valentine's day was less than 3 months ago. It takes awhile to get rid of the "thoughts" and hopes. That's why it's so important to force yourself to keep mentally and physically occupied. The more resourceful you are at finding other things to thing about, the better off you'll be.
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Post by brooklynberry on Apr 15, 2011 6:20:25 GMT -8
true mental illness is really difficult and really needs medical attention. I have someone in my life with severe borderline and it's crazy making. It makes doctors crazy too. I can only have boundaries and pray that I handle myself well and that this person gets proper care. I have no hope of real change, per se, only in how I react.
3 months is a short time. In AA it's the first little milestone, which is great, 90 days. But for long-term recovery, I'd say at least a solid year before you feel much better (at 6 months a lot lifted for me).
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Post by person on Apr 15, 2011 9:36:38 GMT -8
He refused to get any medical attention. He thinks he is fine as all people with mental illness think.
I force myself to be occupied with something all the time. I now lost my job and so I am busy with my next job search. Last 8 years have been hell for me with my job. This adds to my sadness. I feel like my whole life is hanging in the air.
But on the other hand I tell myself that if I contact him, there will be more grief and sadness. Especially that he is fond of the place where I worked and he refused to listen what hell it was to work there, so he would be angry now that I no longer work there. This was one of the worst places I worked in 19 years.
And I might have to have to go to court with them if they create any problem for me with unemployment or bad references.
It is a daily struggle to fight off the depression and hold myself to not contact him. I hope that time will help like you said.
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