Post by sunflwrs4evr on Aug 1, 2011 7:33:52 GMT -8
I went to a colleagues home last night....and she tutored me and another peer....about an hour into the studying...she brought out plates of rice....she is from Sundan Africa....and I expressed that I had already eating my dinner...that i couldnt have anything else until my snack...well the other lady proceeded to tell me that in her culture its disrespectful to not eat what has been handed to you...well i said i am in a 12 step program oa...and that is my abstinence...eating my meals and thats it...and i will take it home with me and eat at lunch or dinner...this women said she is a alcoholic and a drug addict and she has been in program for 16 yrs....i couldnt believe that she was disrespecting me....and the other women that was tutoring us....kept telling me to just eat..and go off my diet just once....cause all i do is eat salads anyway....i said if u had an recovery alcoholic come to your house would u offer him a alcoholic beverage...and the other women interrupted and gave this naive story about her being invited to a party...and being around alcoholic drinks....and she didnt drink it....and i said...well same thing here...i cant eat it....and then i said well if someone offered you a pain pill would u take it ...and she said that she already has done it...And then i thought....here comes my codepencency....and i knew that my snack consists of a starch...and if i just taste the rice...and i will bring the rest home...to be honest with you....i was trying to make peace....and i should of realized ....well what about my respect....I guess i was thinking that if it wasnt for this tutor...that i would not be passing this class...and that is the truth...so now all of this is coming into play...bottom line...is....if i didnt have the starch in my snack later that night..i would not have tasted the rice.....period....my abstinence comes before people places and things....so has this happened to you? Once time...i remember someone sticking a strawberry with whip cream in my mouth....people are crazy....i did call my sponsor as soon as i got out of her house....and she was pisst....and i wasnt feeling all of that..until i spoke with her.....and then i felt the other women...needed to support me....and not go against me...actually they both did...and now i am feeling disrespected....and in need of going back to tutoring on tuesday evening...and this needs to be addressed to both of them..............thanks Sun