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Post by overcomer on Jul 1, 2011 3:49:22 GMT -8
What's hindering me to totally eradicate my POA from my life is my concern that someday she might need a true good friend and find no one else around and ended up settling for a friend not good enough for her well-being.  My past "imago", half-sis, started so well in her life but due to wrong relationships she got totally ruined. So I don't want that to happen to her (POA) too.  What is your suggestion? > How to deal w/ this kind of emotion? And what thoughts to replace it with? Thank you for any input you will share. |
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Post by brooklynberry on Jul 1, 2011 6:03:05 GMT -8
that is your disease talking.
you want to save her and you think you're the only one.
She has her own HP. Let it act in her life. It's not your job. Maybe you're the one who needs a true good friend?
Stop searching for reasons to break NC
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Post by colombina on Jul 1, 2011 6:52:23 GMT -8
Dear OvercomerLetGo,
Please kindly keep in mind that not all people really need friends, especially narcissistic ones, who is in love with themselves only.I know one person, a textbook classic passively aggressive, very well, so in three years we been together I never met a single real friend of his. i left him over eleven years ago and to my best knowledge he still does not have any.
Emotionally unavailable people need somebody else only to use up, to pity,to play with, to abuse etc, but they are not capable of offering equal EXCHANGE: emotional, psychological or physical. And that's what friendship is about.
Why would you want to stay friends with someone who does not care about you, your well being, your happiness, your soul?
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Post by Bo on Jul 1, 2011 7:16:04 GMT -8
OvercomerLetGo,
Here's what I learned the hard way, and I hope to save you some time. When someone posts "that is your disease talking", Believe it. Sooner or later you will realize it's true (in the case of the LA disease). The sooner the better.
To me, it looks like you are making up excuses. (I've done it and I recognize it).
If you have a HP that you trust and believe in, how about turning your PoA over to your HP to take care of when that "someday she might need a good friend" happens. Remember it has not happened yet.
Lastly, I love the last part of your screen name. "Let Go".
Let Go, Let Go, Let Go.
(Unless of course you want to and enjoy the ride, around and around in the cycle of Love Addiction) Sooner or later you will want to get off.
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Post by overcomer on Jul 1, 2011 9:04:06 GMT -8
happyberry: "Maybe you're the one who needs a true good friend?" - Well, great solid friendship is one of God's gifts to me. :-) I always have really, really long-lasting solid friendship THAT'S WHY I WANT TO SHARE IT especially w/ those who have difficulties making one. For the record, only w/ POA I had this official "break-up" moments. W/ the rest it's mostly healthy and enduring the test of time. My parents are good examples for me in friendship. They're able to maintain good ties w/ their friends through "thick and thin" for more than 2-3 decades! :-) "that is your disease talking. you want to save her and you think you're the only one. She has her own HP. Let it act in her life. It's not your job." Thanks a lot for the great advice and for saying so! :-) @columbina: "Please kindly keep in mind that not all people really need friends, especially narcissistic ones, who is in love with themselves only." - Wow! Thank you for giving me a useful, different point of view. :-) "Emotionally unavailable people need somebody else only to use up, to pity,to play with, to abuse etc, but they are not capable of offering equal EXCHANGE: emotional, psychological or physical. And that's what friendship is about." -Thank you for that great reminder! :-) But I hope she's not a Narcissist.  Bo: "If you have a HP that you trust and believe in, how about turning your PoA over to your HP to take care of when that "someday she might need a good friend" happens. Remember it has not happened yet. Lastly, I love the last part of your screen name. "Let Go". Let Go, Let Go, Let Go." -Thank you! Great advice! I surely need those reminders.
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