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Post by loveis1980 on Dec 22, 2011 9:46:16 GMT -8
When does the feeling of emptiness go away? When will my energy come back and Ill become productive again? Its been over 3 wks since NC. I know its pitiful..just saying...
From Susan. If you are empty don't turn to passion to to God.
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Post by overcomer on Dec 22, 2011 9:58:44 GMT -8
Sorry that you're feeling that way. More often than not it's part of withdrawal.
We heal or recover at different rates. Allow yourself to take whatever it takes.
Let your HP fill your void. Meditate on your HP's promises.
Don't let your feelings control you. You can choose to dwell on the good side.
Listen to inspirational podcast or whatever that can motivate you.
Usually you have to do the next right step and then your good feeling will follow.
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 22, 2011 10:59:28 GMT -8
loveis, im sorry your feeling sad. but it does take time. What are you doing to replace your poa? how are you taking care of yourself? It is like taking baby steps. It took me about 6 months, and even yesterday, i caught myself with the "what if's". So as painful as it is, and if you feel like your in a fog like i was, just keep moving forward. And lean on your HP for comfort. Keep sharing with us, your not alone.
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Post by LovelyJune on Dec 22, 2011 15:26:43 GMT -8
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Post by addicted on Dec 22, 2011 15:38:49 GMT -8
I am in extreme emptiness right now. You are not alone. I did read the blog and it does help. But I have to actually DO the legwork.
I posted on here last night that I needed support - got no replies-I deleted the post. Very discouraging.
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 22, 2011 15:52:41 GMT -8
addicted, iam sorry no one responded to you last night. What are you doing for your recovery now? I know when i first stop drinking, as well as getting over my poa, i just kept going to meeting and being around people, even if I did not feel like it. I feel kinda sad and empty myself, but iam just trying to stay focus on what can I do for ME. Im writing some new goals for myself, Iam going to get me a tanning package tomorrow. And going to some meetings. But I also have a passing thought would i feel better if my poa called? No it would only be more aggravation and disappointments. So iam right where i need to be at this moment. What would make you feel better? And not so empty? And play the whole tape out.
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Post by addicted on Dec 22, 2011 16:12:15 GMT -8
Thanks Carolyn. I'm doing a lot of reading. I see a therapist. I go to 12 step meetings. Rough time of year for this. Tomorrow is also the tenth anniversary of my mother's death. I guess I can't expect to be feeling too great right now regardless.
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 22, 2011 16:52:46 GMT -8
addicted, im sure that is hard for you along with it christmas time. im sorry your hurting. I know the calendar says its christmas, but i dont get all up in the pomp n circumstance of it all. Christmas is for kids, for me it is too remember the reason for the season. Try and comfort yourself tomorrow, and if there are still resentments or guilt feelings and you feel like you owe your mom an amends, just ask in yours prayers, all you have to do is be willing. i will keep you in my prayers. hugs to you.
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Post by overcomer on Dec 23, 2011 3:33:21 GMT -8
I am in extreme emptiness right now. You are not alone. I did read the blog and it does help. But I have to actually DO the legwork. I posted on here last night that I needed support - got no replies-I deleted the post. Very discouraging. I'm sorry that you're feeling down. My mom also passed away few yrs. ago and yesterday I also opened a thread w/ no reply. But it's a "blessing in disguise" for me that there was no reply bec I realized I have to delete it too just the same since it was "too-telling" and who knows if my POA discover this board and recognize me?  So what I'm trying to say is you are not alone and you don't have to let it discourage you. I hope you are feeling better today. |
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Post by addicted on Dec 23, 2011 4:01:48 GMT -8
Thank you overcomer. I do feel a little better today. Hope you do too.
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Post by overcomer on Dec 23, 2011 7:53:38 GMT -8
I'm glad you do. I'm ok too thanks! I've learned not to go by how I feel. Feelings change all the time.
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Post by happyberry on Dec 23, 2011 8:10:32 GMT -8
I can tell you it lasted a lot longer than 3 weeks for me. It's hard but ride it out. It does go away and when it does leave you'll feel better than you've ever felt in your whole life.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 23, 2011 10:50:33 GMT -8
Emptiness is the same as what I call "the hungry heart."
Feed the heart with other forms of love.
self-love
self-respect
self-esteem
self-actualization
agape (God)
familial (family)
platonic (friends)
Filling the heart with limerence is like eating candy. Quick high, no nutritional value.
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Post by LovelyJune on Dec 23, 2011 10:59:04 GMT -8
Filling the heart with limerence is like eating candy. Quick high, no nutritional value. I love that, Susan! |
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Dec 24, 2011 0:25:55 GMT -8
susan, I love the list too. I have found all the self-loving feelings are growing in me as I heal, and the family and friendships and my HP. Also I like the concept of feeding the heart. Healthy food.
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bdzc
Junior Member
Posts: 61
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Post by bdzc on Dec 25, 2011 14:58:43 GMT -8
+1 to what Susan posted.
Loveis:
I am still dealing with feelings of emptiness. It's been about a month of NC, interrupted a couple of weeks ago, and restarted now...some days I feel so empty,sad and lost and can only manage to think of POA and feel guilty and naive for doing so...
But you know what? It goes away, just give it time, give yourself time to heal. I have good days and bad days, but I take them as they come...and remember not to be hard on myself.
Something that helps me is every time I think of my POA I stop myself and replace the thoughts with thoughts of all the positive things I'm doing and can do in the future to get better and feel better with myself: I think I'll go to a meditation center or to a yoga class, or that I'll take a nice bath and have some me time, to relax; I watch a movie or a TV series; I read or I write about what I'm feeling.
Keep posting, read as much as you can about love addiction. I highly recommend Lovely June's blog. Remember that nothing lasts for ever, everything shall pass. It gets better, I promise!
Much love.
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 25, 2011 15:41:25 GMT -8
i have been feeling pretty empty yesterday & today myself, And i know this will pass, I can get busy tomorrow and get out of my house. But since my poa is out of my life, and the focus is back on just me. I see how unhappy my love life really is. Im content in all other areas of my life, except having someone to share my life with, to do things with, like going out to eat, movies and just having a intelligent conversation with. it is kinda sad. This too shall pass.
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Dec 25, 2011 18:38:02 GMT -8
It will pass carolyn. There might be feelings underneath that emptiness that you can allow to surface and really feel before you get busy again. Business keeps them from surfacing, which is totally appropriate if you aren't up to feeling them yet. But if you can handle delving into them, you'll move so much faster.
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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 26, 2011 4:48:30 GMT -8
jaca, Im going to do some writing on that and see did the christmas holidays trigger that emptiness, b/c my inner child was hurting just like i did when i was a child, b/c my parents were always drunk, and i hated christmas when i was a child. Im more aware of what i was feeling now, than a couple of days ago.
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Dec 27, 2011 12:19:01 GMT -8
Great carolyn. Heal that little girl who had a bad time a Xmas. My Xmas days were almost always fun as a girl, but there was hell to pay afterwards. My childhood left me with a feeling like it's not safe to enjoy myself. Sometimes when feel it nowdays I ask myself- Is it OK to have fun now? Is it OK to be happy now? And just asking the question helps, because it always is OK now.
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Dec 29, 2011 5:40:33 GMT -8
Brilliant paisley. So great you discovered life on the other side of love addiction. I have too, it's the best thing since sliced bread. Amazing.
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