Post by Freetolive on Oct 4, 2012 15:37:02 GMT -8
Ok, today I was talking with a friend about a resentment I have over two people.
This happened a year ago. Have a friend, he was going through a very thought time with sobriety and getting over a woman that flat dogged him out. I was trying to help and support him in recovery. Well one day, my ex POA tells me he asked her to move in with him (she was looking for a place after college). He told me that she asked him and that he was going to tell me because I was his friend. well I was angry. I told him yeah yeah yeah, you were going to tell me, but you were still going to let her move in. She finally said no.
MY POINT..LOL
I thought I was justified at my anger toward him. A friend pointed out that she was not mine, we were broke up. That it was selfish to expect people not to do this or that just because of me(just because I still had feelings for her).
So I told the guy, I needed time away from him. Until I could get over my resentment.
Anyway, is that the way resentments work? That I'm made because I'm not getting something that I think I deserve? So what was I supposed to do? Yeah she wasn't my partner anymore and I guess I hadn't let go of the idea. So every time I talked to him, he would say he loved and respected my recovery.( I still tried to help him, even though I didn't tell him I had a resentment) But I secretly resented him! Why? because i was afraid he was going to have someone that I was dependent on? Was it because i was afraid she would like him better than me? fear that he would have sex with her and then would always be that uncomfortable feeling on WOW we both had sex with her and we are friends?
So I need to get to the bottom of this that is inside me so I can grow. I don't want to react this way. Maybe as I heal, I'll be better able to handle the truth. That she is gone and that she will have a relationship(s) and it may even be with a best friend. That could happen with anybody.
Anybody have any experience strength and hope on some solid answers? Thanks.
This happened a year ago. Have a friend, he was going through a very thought time with sobriety and getting over a woman that flat dogged him out. I was trying to help and support him in recovery. Well one day, my ex POA tells me he asked her to move in with him (she was looking for a place after college). He told me that she asked him and that he was going to tell me because I was his friend. well I was angry. I told him yeah yeah yeah, you were going to tell me, but you were still going to let her move in. She finally said no.
MY POINT..LOL
I thought I was justified at my anger toward him. A friend pointed out that she was not mine, we were broke up. That it was selfish to expect people not to do this or that just because of me(just because I still had feelings for her).
So I told the guy, I needed time away from him. Until I could get over my resentment.
Anyway, is that the way resentments work? That I'm made because I'm not getting something that I think I deserve? So what was I supposed to do? Yeah she wasn't my partner anymore and I guess I hadn't let go of the idea. So every time I talked to him, he would say he loved and respected my recovery.( I still tried to help him, even though I didn't tell him I had a resentment) But I secretly resented him! Why? because i was afraid he was going to have someone that I was dependent on? Was it because i was afraid she would like him better than me? fear that he would have sex with her and then would always be that uncomfortable feeling on WOW we both had sex with her and we are friends?
So I need to get to the bottom of this that is inside me so I can grow. I don't want to react this way. Maybe as I heal, I'll be better able to handle the truth. That she is gone and that she will have a relationship(s) and it may even be with a best friend. That could happen with anybody.
Anybody have any experience strength and hope on some solid answers? Thanks.
