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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 4, 2014 1:00:05 GMT -8
“Did” – Word Of Achievement “Cant” – Word Of Defeat “Should” – Word Of Duty “Will” – Word Of Eager “Can” – Word Of Power
Choose your word wisely...And stay positive!
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 13, 2014 9:12:44 GMT -8
"You Can’t Please Everyone" By Kovie B
Many of us like to be liked. We like to be popular. We like to have the approval of other people. We like it when people agree with us. This is nothing novel. But there is a price to always wanting to be liked and I believe that price is huge. Many times we sacrifice saying what we really mean; doing what we believe is truly right, and living the life that others want us to lead rather the one that we believe is our purpose.
One of the best thing about my upbringing is that my parents, from a young age tried to dispel notions that being liked by everyone is a good thing. So I’ve grown up believing that if you’re liked by everyone, you’re probably doing it wrong. It seems to me that the best way to know you’re actually living your life, the best you can, is that you’ve ruffled some feathers, had an unpopular opinion or two, and maybe even made a few enemies. Not that should ever be the intention, but I think by virtue of living your life rightly, it should cause you to repel others.
Pleasing everyone has got to be exhausting, if not impossible. I think even trying to, doesn’t make much sense and will probably cause one nothing but stress. People are different; people were raised differently, and people choose to see life in their own eyes. So we have to be mindful of that but that doesn’t mean that we have to subscribe to other people’s lenses. Knowing and better understanding people is one thing, trying to become how they would have us be, is another.
Pleasing everyone can only lead to frustration and unhappiness and inauthenticity. It is of no value to one’s self or to a world where encountering people who challenge us is really what causes us to think differently. You can listen to people. You can learn from them. You can be agreeable and you can agree to disagree. But if you’re liked by everyone, you’re probably doing it wrong. I don’t really have much else to say on the matter; it’s not a subject that I believe requires heavy contemplation. Then again, that’s just what I think. Feel free to disagree.
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Post by dhafirah on Jan 16, 2014 8:13:13 GMT -8
" You Can’t Please Everyone" By Kovie B Pleasing everyone has got to be exhausting, if not impossible. I think even trying to, doesn’t make much sense and will probably cause one nothing but stress. People are different; people were raised differently, and people choose to see life in their own eyes. So we have to be mindful of that but that doesn’t mean that we have to subscribe to other people’s lenses. Knowing and better understanding people is one thing, trying to become how they would have us be, is another. Pleasing everyone can only lead to frustration and unhappiness and inauthenticity. It is of no value to one’s self or to a world where encountering people who challenge us is really what causes us to think differently. You can listen to people. You can learn from them. You can be agreeable and you can agree to disagree. But if you’re liked by everyone, you’re probably doing it wrong. I don’t really have much else to say on the matter; it’s not a subject that I believe requires heavy contemplation. Then again, that’s just what I think. Feel free to disagree. So true. This is what I have to get in my head - not everyone thinks and feels like I do and it doesn't make me wrong and them right and vice versa. And if someone does not like me I do not have to change myself to change what they think about me. We all have choices of who we want to be around. Being different is what make human relations more interesting. We all have something to add to each other but we should not try to be each other.
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 16, 2014 11:26:13 GMT -8
That is beautiful. I like that.
If I may add, when I tried to please people I was so unhappy, anxious and exhausted. However, when I follow what the Spirit in me tells me I am at peace, at rest and blessed. Therefore, I just travel my own journey whether anyone likes it or not. I keep going on to fulfill my calling in life.
Speaking of journey, I like this quote:
“The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.”
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 18, 2014 12:02:03 GMT -8
Remember, life is a journey. If you got everything you wanted all at once there'd be no point to living. Enjoy the ride, and in the end you'll see these 'setbacks' as giant leaps forward, only you couldn't see the bigger picture in the moment. Remain calm, all is within reach; all you have to do is show up every day, stay true to your path and you will surely find the treasure you seek.
Jackson Kiddard
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 19, 2014 12:27:04 GMT -8
10 Gifts You Deserve to Give Yourself“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ―Mae West This morning a close friend of the family passed away far too early. While I’ve spent most of the day grieving, I’ve spent the last couple hours thinking about the fact that our lives are sometimes much shorter than we expect them to be, and that each moment is a miracle – perhaps an obvious thought that simply sinks in a bit more on a day like today. As I sit here, one question keeps dancing around my mind: What can you do with your moments to maximize their value? An answer that immediately comes to mind: Use them to give yourself priceless gifts nobody else can give you… 1. An open mind in full acceptance of life’s changes. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. You’re always growing. Experiences don’t stop. That’s life. Sometimes there are things in our lives that aren’t meant to stay. Sometimes the changes we don’t want are the changes we need to grow. Growth and change may be painful sometimes, but nothing in life is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t belong. The bottom line is that you can’t reach for anything new if you’re holding onto yesterday. You may think holding on makes you strong, but often it is letting go and starting anew in the present. 2. A meaningful path and purpose. If your life is going to mean anything, you have to live it yourself. You have to choose the path that feels right to YOU, not the one that looks right to everyone else. It’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb, than the top of the one you don’t. So don’t wait until you’re halfway up the wrong ladder to listen to your intuition. Every morning, ask yourself what is really important, and then find the courage, wisdom and willpower to build your day around your answer. In the end, it’s not what you say, but how you spend your time that counts. If you want to do something, you’ll find a way; if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. 3. The time to do what truly matters. Identify what’s most important to you. Prune nonessential commitments. Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else. No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets. The mark of a successful person is the ability to set aside the “somewhat important” things in order to accomplish the vital ones first. When you’re crystal clear about your priorities, you can painlessly arrange them in the right order and discard the activities and commitments that do not support the ones at the top of your list. 4. The space to BE, without needless worry. If you think and you think and you think, you will think yourself right out of happiness a thousand times over, and never once into it. Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace and potential. Stop over-thinking everything. Life is too short. Your biggest limitations are the ones you make up in your mind. The biggest causes of your unhappiness are the false beliefs you refuse to let go of. You are capable of far more than you are presently thinking, imagining, doing or being. You will, however, become what you habitually contemplate, so clear your mind and let your hopes, not your fears, shape your future. How? Meditate. Run. Set your mind free. 5. Permission to be imperfect as you grow. You may not be where you want to be yet, but if you think about it, you’re no longer where you once were either. You have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward. Not because you’ve always made the right choices, but because you survived the bad ones, and taken small steps in the right direction. Focus on the right things and just do the best you can. Don’t allow yourself to be crippled by stress and self-loathing. Everything is only as it is. There’s no reason to let it destroy you. Breathe. Let every moment be what it’s going to be. What’s meant to be will come your way, what’s not will fall away. And remember that a great gift may not always be wrapped as you expect. (Read The Last Lecture.) 6. Reassurance of being enough. Tell yourself, “I am enough.” Accept your flaws. Admit your mistakes. Don’t hide and don’t lie. Deal with the truth, learn the lessons, endure the consequences of reality, and move on. Your truth won’t penalize you. The mistakes won’t hurt you. The denial and cover-up will. Flawed and vulnerable people are beautiful and likable. Liars and phonies are not. Every beautiful human being is made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions and finished with unique edges. You are YOU for a reason. Ignore the distractions. Listen to your own inner voice. Mind your own business. Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day. Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity derail you from your truth. 7. The right relationships. Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them. You have to figure out who’s worth your attention and who’s just taking advantage of you. If your time and energy is misspent on the wrong relationships, or on too many activities that force you to neglect your good relationships, you can end up in a tedious cycle of fleeting friendships, superficial romances that are as thrilling as they are meaningless, and a general sense of wondering why you always seem to be running in place, chasing affection. Choose yourself rather than settle for those who treat you as ordinary. YOU certainly aren’t. Never settle for being someone’s “option” when you have the potential to be someone’s “first choice.” You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you hang with the wrong people, they will bring you down, but if you hang with the right people, they will help you grow into your best self. The RIGHT people for you will love all the things about you that the WRONG people are intimidated by – that’s what you need to look out for. 8. Self-education. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Life is a book and those who do not educate themselves read only a few pages. When you know better you live better. Period. All education is self-education. It doesn’t matter if you’re sitting in a college classroom or a coffee shop. We don’t learn anything we don’t want to learn. Those who take the time and initiative to pursue knowledge on their own time are the only ones who earn a real education in this world. Take a look at any widely acclaimed scholar, entrepreneur or historical figure you can think of. Formal education or not, you’ll find that he or she is a product of continuous self-education. 9. A chance to touch your dreams. Everyone dreams, but not equally. Too many people dream only at night in the quiet of their own minds, and then awake to find it was all an illusion. Don’t be one of them. Dream by the day instead. Be one of the people who dream with their eyes wide open, and who works to make them come true. Rest when you are tired, but don’t give up. You never know what’s just around the corner. It could be everything you’ve been working for, or it might be just another mile marker on your journey. Either way, when you keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day the next step you take will be the one that carries you to your goal. (Read Tuesdays with Morrie.) 10. The freedom to express your whole truth. The greatest and most gratifying experiences in life cannot be seen or touched. They must be felt with the heart from the inside out. There’s nothing more inspiring than the complexity and beauty of human, heartfelt feelings. Sadly though, many people let the fear of judgment numb and silence them. Their deepest thoughts and feelings often go unspoken, and thus barely understood. Do NOT let people invalidate or minimize how you feel. If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you. Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever. No one else lives in your body, or sees life through your eyes. No one else has lived through your exact experiences. And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel. Your feelings are important. Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise. Your turn… Which of the points above are you struggling with? What gifts do you need to start giving yourself? www.marcandangel.com/2013/12/25/10-gifts-you-deserve-to-give-yourself/
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 22, 2014 8:48:40 GMT -8
"Don't You Quit"
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit- Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a fellow turns about When he might have won had he stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow - You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man; Often the struggler has given up When he might have captured the victor's cup; And he learned too late when the night came down, How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It might be near when it seems afar; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
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Post by loveaddicted on Jan 22, 2014 10:15:16 GMT -8
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 24, 2014 9:23:18 GMT -8
“It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things.”
― Donald Miller
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 26, 2014 7:30:08 GMT -8
How often do we ask the question "Where do I go from here?" If life is a series of challenges and lessons, then only by reflecting on our past triumphs and mistakes, can we wisely choose the next path that we will ultimately embrace.
This poem originally was published in Poems on Life
"The Road Less Traveled" by Kit McCallum
How often we must bear the challenges of life; The endless roller coaster between happiness and sorrow; The constant ups and downs of daily strife. And always the question remains .... why?
Life is not an easy road for most; It twists and turns with many forks in the road, Although always, and inevitably, we are given a choice ...
Do we turn to the right ... or the left? Do we take the high road ... or the low road? Do we take the easy path ... or the difficult one?
Decisions are not easy for those struggling for direction ... And sometimes the many choices and signs become overwhelming.
While standing at a crossroads in life, The urge is to take the most comfortable path; The road with least resistance ... The shortest or most traveled route.
And yet, if we've been down that comfortable road before; Have gleaned its lessons in life, and learned from our experiences;
Do we yet again follow the known? Or does our destiny lie in another direction?
The fear of the road less traveled is tangible and all too real; It manifests itself in many ways, And tends to cloud the issues that might otherwise be clear.
It is in these times of confusion, That we must seek peace and solitude;
Time to contemplate on our life, Our experiences and our choices past; Time to look back, and reflect on what we have learned Without fear or confusion.
For only each of us knows our own personal thoughts; Our unique past and personal history; The experiences that brought us to the crossroads we now face.
We can always learn a small degree from others experiences, And yet ... no one person can walk in our shoes, Others know not, the trials and tribulations faced in private ...
For each is individual ... unique ... and personal.
And that is why ... while standing at a crossroads, Only "we" can formulate the decision for ourselves; The true direction that lies within; The choices we must deliberate on with clarity and wisdom.
For it is only through personal reflection, That we can now choose our destiny; ... Our next adventure; ... And the future we will embrace.
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Post by CodepNomore on Feb 3, 2014 21:47:35 GMT -8
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullnuts. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is toxic and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel?
Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
― Jim Morrison
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Post by CodepNomore on Feb 6, 2014 8:01:25 GMT -8
Respect yourself enough
To walk away from
a n y t h i n g
That no longer
Serves you,
Grows you, or
Makes you happy.
Remember you only have one life to live and you were created for a purpose.
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Post by CodepNomore on Feb 12, 2014 8:33:13 GMT -8
"The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow." Therefore, do not give up. Finish what you started. Keep going with your NC.
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Post by CodepNomore on Feb 17, 2014 7:16:50 GMT -8
"Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself."
From Susan . . . some people you have to love from a distance. And, you can love your neighbor without marrying him.
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Post by CodepNomore on Feb 23, 2014 4:01:13 GMT -8
How To Detox Your Life of Negative People And Not Feel Bad
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
– Mark Twain
Firstly: my definition of a toxic person- Someone who complains and dumps their problems on you but doesn’t do anything to change their situation. Someone who is not supportive. Someone who makes you feel bad. Someone who shoots down your bright ideas, big goals, or bold (and risky) decisions that you need to make in order to be successful.
Secondly, this article isn’t intended to reprimand or paint toxic people in a negative light. Toxic people are usually in a place in their life where they are not open to constructive feedback or changing, so they are stuck in their current situation and don’t have the insight to see beyond their own struggles. And that’s okay. This article is meant to advocate for you so you don’t allow their negativity to impact your life.
First, why it’s important to detox your life of negative people:
Negative people slow you down towards achieving your goals. Whether they know it or not, they end up discouraging you from being ambitious or following your dreams by questioning what you’re doing and planting doubts in your head. Negative energy from toxic people affect your energy level, not to mention your stress and anxiety. Ultimately, it’s your health and well-being, so you are responsible for taking care of it! You need to create space for positive change to happen. Being in toxic relationships with people and allowing their negative energy into your life will hold you back from manifesting opportunities for your success. Also, releasing negative people will create space for the positive folks to enter, who will encourage, support, and help you grow as a person. How to detox negative people from your life:
Step 1: Decide that you’re worth it
You need to feel as if you’re worthy of achieving your goals and changing into the person you want to be. Letting go of any negativity in your life will help you get there faster. You’ve got to be committed to doing this for yourself otherwise your guilt for letting go of certain relationships will keep you in the same place (more in Step 3). How to realize you’re worth it: Decide. Simply. Make the choice and decide that it’s time you committed to yourself, your goals, and your dreams and you won’t let anything stop or slow you down from getting there. Think about the negative side effects of holding onto these relationships. Ask yourself: What effect are these relationships having on my life? What are my goals and how badly do I want to achieve them? Are these people supporting my goals or slowing me down?
Step 2: Identify the toxic folks
Toxic people make you feel worse than when you started talking to them. They bring your energy level down. They leave you feeling bummed out. There is a difference between someone sharing with you their struggles and challenges vs someone who constantly complains. The difference is someone who is genuinely struggling is willing to listen to constructive feedback and is open to change (and does change). Conversely, whiners and complainers don’t want to change and just want you to feel sorry for them. They shoot down your ideas. e.g., They question what you’re doing. They may say something like, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t change careers because you have so much job security here. What about your benefits? Or your retirement?” This is pretty common and sometimes subtle and harder to notice. Even though it may sound like they’re giving you advice, in the end they’re just putting more doubts into your head because your actions may bring up their own fears and insecurity.
Toxic people can fall within the spectrum of being subtly draining to all around toxic and hostile (read: openly critical of you). But even if they fall on the less severe end of the “toxic people spectrum”, they will still bring you down. People don’t need to be outright poisonous to affect you negatively.
Step 3: Let them go
Just start. Use whatever method you think is appropriate. Avoid them. Don’t pick up their calls. Apologize for being distant but you don’t need to explain why or defend your actions. You don’t have to explain anything to them unless you feel need to because they’re being persistent and pushy. This is because they are probably not in a state of mind to listen to what you have to say anyway and will probably get on the defensive if you try to explain yourself. Do it gracefully and with love. Send them off with love and a prayer. Be open to the possibility that if and when they are ready to change and be more positive/supportive, then you would be open to rekindling the relationship.
Step 4: Don’t feel guilty
Again, you are worth it. You must be your own BEST FRIEND. If you don’t take charge of your life, nobody will do it for you! You are not abandoning them even though you may feel like that. There is a distinction between abandoning someone vs letting them go so they can find their own way. If you’ve already tried giving them advice, encouragement, or even a wake-up call and nothing happened, then no amount of wise words from you will change their thinking or behavior. It’s not your obligation. You may keep these people in your life because you feel like you have to or you’re obligated to. Maybe they’ve been your closest friend since grade school. Or maybe they’re your cousin and you feel obliged through your blood ties. Whatever the reason, people grow and change and it’s okay for relationships to evolve.
Step 5: Bring in the positivity!
Surround yourself with positive people. These are people who:
Support your ambitions
Encourage your ideas no matter how scary, risky, or seemingly unknown the outcome could be because they know how important it is for you. Are up to big things. They are people you admire because you think they kick ass in life!
coachchinh.com/how-to-detox-your-life-negative-people-and-not-feel-bad-about-it/
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Post by CodepNomore on Apr 26, 2014 1:28:00 GMT -8
A Positive Story About Changing...
Once upon a time, there was an unfortunate poor man. His home was also very poor – a small and empty house, where mice made their nests and spiders made their webs. People tried to avoid coming into his house – why should they stick their noses into those poor ruins? And the poor man thought that poverty is the reason of his misfortunes – his eternal destiny.
So once, the poor man met a wizard and complained to him about his poverty and miserable life. The wizard felt sorry for the poor man and gave him an unprecedented vase. And said:
- This is a magical vase that will save you from poverty. The poor man took the vase and wanted to sell it at first and then spend the money on alcohol, as usual, besides, why would he need such a beautiful thing? But then he started admiring the vase and couldn’t take it to the market. He brought the vase home, put it on the table and started admiring it.
- It’s not right for such a beautiful thing to be empty, - the poor man thought. So he picked some wildflowers and put them into the vase. It became even more beautiful.
- Not good, - the poor man thought again, - that such a beautiful thing stands next to a spider web.
So the poor man started cleaning his house from spider webs, sweeping out cockroaches and mice, cleaning the dust, washing the floor and the walls, whitening the ceiling. And it became clear that his house wasn’t poor, but rather warm and cozy. And the poor man wasn’t a poor man anymore, but a hard working host, who had no time for thoughts about misfortune.
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Post by CodepNomore on Apr 29, 2014 8:07:10 GMT -8
"This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2014 22:34:14 GMT -8
i loved that lil story!
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Post by CodepNomore on Jun 24, 2014 2:50:18 GMT -8
I like this person's winning attitude and how she takes good care of herself in her own right against all odds. This came from the book I am currently reading, "You Can Begin Again" by Joyce Meyer:
I came across a short modern-day parable that I want to share with you:
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. "Well", she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "Hmmm," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, " Today I'm going to wear my hair in a ponytail." So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YAY! she exclaimed. "I don't have to fix my hair today!"
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Post by weepingwillow on Jul 9, 2014 3:28:17 GMT -8
I love these, they're absolutely amazing! Thanks codepnomore
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Post by CodepNomore on Jul 9, 2014 5:16:41 GMT -8
weepingwillow, you are welcome and thank you for your positive feedback and appreciation too.
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Post by CodepNomore on Oct 7, 2014 0:12:31 GMT -8
“I have for many years endeavored to make this vital truth clear; and still people marvel when I tell them that I am happy. They imagine that my limitations weigh heavily upon my spirit, and chain me to the rock of despair. Yet, it seems to me, happiness has very little to do with the senses. If we make up our minds that this is a drab and purposeless universe, it will be that, and nothing else.
On the other hand, if we believe that the earth is ours, and that the sun and moon hang in the sky for our delight, there will be joy upon the hills and gladness in the fields because the Artist in our souls glorifies creation. Surely, it gives dignity to life to believe that we are born into this world for noble ends, and that we have a higher destiny than can be accomplished within the narrow limits of this physical life.”
~ Helen Keller
I love Helen Keller's brilliant attitude big time!
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Post by CodepNomore on Oct 13, 2014 7:43:30 GMT -8
Two Interesting Research Findings:
#1 "Shared Pain Turns into Social Glue"
In a series of experiments, people who underwent painful experiences such as plunging their hands into ice water felt more bonded to their fellow participants than did those who hadn’t experienced pain (3.71 versus 3.14 on a 5-point solidarity scale); moreover, shared pain promoted cooperative behavior among the participants, says a team led by Brock Bastian of the University of New South Wales in Australia. The findings may explain why painful experiences such as burning and mutilation are part of social rituals in many cultures, the researchers say.
SOURCE: Pain as Social Glue: Shared Pain Increases Cooperation
#2 "What Matters Most to Positive Feelings? R-E-S-P-E-C-T"
A vast study of people in 158 countries shows that among the nonmaterial personal needs of respect, autonomy, and social support, respect is the strongest predictor of positive feelings, say Weiting Ng of SIM University in Singapore and Ed Diener of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and the Gallup Organization. In the survey of 838,151 people, respect levels were gauged through respondents’ answers to the question of whether they had been “treated with respect” the previous day.
SOURCE: What Matters to the Rich and the Poor? Subjective Well-Being, Financial Satisfaction, and Postmaterialist Needs Across the World
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2014 8:59:47 GMT -8
Here is something I found very positive; it relates to some themes I have seen on this board, about learning to live without the driving need for outside affirmation, learning to meet our own needs from inside ourselves:
Love after Love
Derek Wolcott
The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.
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Post by CodepNomore on Nov 1, 2014 7:56:12 GMT -8
Outside of this forum, I usually read books that are useful for my career or calling in life. So it is only here in this board that I engage in LA talk and past events connected to it. Otherwise, my focus is on moving forward with my life, leaving the past behind where it belongs. One of the books I am reading has this message:
"The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life. If you improve the quality of your thinking, in any area, you will improve the quality of your life in that area. By using your mind, your ability to think, you take charge of your life and determine your own destiny. You move from being powerless to being powerful. You determine everything that happens to you by the way you think about it, in advance. You may not be what you think you are, but what you think, you are!"
- Brian Tracy
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Post by CodepNomore on Nov 13, 2014 8:51:42 GMT -8
"If you don’t step out of your comfort zone and face your fears, the number of situations that make you uncomfortable will keep growing."
~Theo Pistorius
"Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new."
~Brian Tracy
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Post by CodepNomore on Nov 15, 2014 10:15:35 GMT -8
Change must take place. We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are. For as the Chinese Proverb states, "A man grows most tired while standing still." Take action. Move forward and leave the past behind.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2014 7:46:24 GMT -8
Acceptance and gratitude
There are many kinds of negativity. I've dabbled in most of them: victim feelings, low self esteem, etc.
Two things that help me a lot are acceptance and gratitude. Acceptance means turning to face the difficult truths in my life: I am a love addict. I was abandoned and neglected as a child. My behavior has hurt myself and others. I am codependent. I don't get anywhere unless I accept these truths.
Gratitude means being *grateful* for all that I am and all that I have. I survived some horrific things in childhood. The defenses I built hurt me later but they were sturdy. I made it!! I am here!
I have been addicted to love. I am grateful for that because it revealed the deep HUNGER for affirmation that has driven me from inside for many years. My addiction showed me the depths of my pain. So I can work on it. Which I am doing! I am motivated to do therapy twice a week so I can live to my full potential. Without the pain of my addiction I would not have been motivated.
I am grateful for codependence. My defense to pain was to move outward toward other people. I am working on having better boundaries in this area. But I recognize the flip side of codependence is empathy. A good quality. My xPOA is a narcissist trapped inside herself. She will never feel real empathy; it's impossible with her disorder. I am grateful I can feel empathy - grateful for my humanity.
Thanks God!
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 5, 2015 8:50:42 GMT -8
Sigh. So much worrying going on around here. Lovely people, why do you worry about things that may or may not happen? About the future, other people, life's circumstances, etc? They are all beyond your control. Don't you want to have a peace of mind? Then stop worrying. Think positively, develop good habits, be the solution to your problem, and continue being grateful for everything.
Remove yourself away from negativity, toxic people, place and stuff. So that better things will come your way this 2015! (I love writing a New Year!)
2015 belongs to positive thinkers, doers, and grateful, responsible people!
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 8, 2015 6:02:03 GMT -8
I am encouraging you to use your gift wherever you may be. Let nothing stop you. Self-study if you can, but don't let your lack of formal education limit you from achieving your dreams and goals...
Not because you are not a professional artist, you can't create a beautiful art piece.
Not because you do not have the 'unrealistic' size of a professional model, you can't dress up beautifully anymore.
Not because you are not a professional counselor or you are just a newbie, you can't give a good advice or share your good insight too.
Not because someone has rejected you, you are lacking anything or something is wrong with you.
Not because you have failed many times, it makes you already a failure.
And not because you are a love /sex addict for ages, it means you will forever be.
No...There is hope for you. As long as you are still breathing and there is still called, "Today", you can still rise up and start anew. You can still follow and fulfill your dreams. Don't let others' negative thinking, experience, or careless opinion influence you. This is your moment. This is your chance to create a new story with a happy ending for yourself.
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