Positive to Think Today

Beloved members of this great community,

Please remind yourself that you are important. You got this one precious life. You are loved and valued. You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself and meet your own needs. No one else can do that for you and me. Those who have hurt us, it is their loss. We cannot let them continually rob us or sabotage our self-esteem, health, energy, present. They were our past mistakes. Leave them in the past. We have great future ahead of us.

This is the one that is hardest for me. I have tried to make friends in so many different ways. When I was a Christian, I tried at church, bible study, and even book clubs, and nothing. I've joined yoga studios, I've run a motorcycle Bike Night and attended many, I've tried to make friends with neighbors, at work, when in college, and so many other places. It's almost a bad joke now.

Reading this makes me feel that pathetic neediness come up to the surface again. That inner child just doesn't understand why others don't like her.

But-- if the grown up me remembers that it's not her, she will feel better. If she doesn't give a stuff, she feels better. If she remembers that she's also codependent and might need to back off and just allow people to come into her space, she feels a challenge to actually try this instead of all the other things she was exhausting herself doing before, which only made her tired.

This group rocks. I'm really benefitting greatly from these posts, the reminders, and the "work" of overcoming old beliefs that are not worth believing anymore!!

This. We are so similar in this. The first part is so me. The second part is also me, just now and not then.

I started looking around at the friends I had and wondered why they weren't "good enough" for me to call them friends. Then, I began a new inventory.

I thought Carol was untrustworthy; turns out she is very trustworthy and really loves hanging out with me. Sherry is a very good friend, though we don't talk every day. She's done stuff for me she would never do for herself even, like taking painting classes, which is so awesome. My daughter is one of my best friends, as is my 93 year old grandmother. I have a bestie in London who I speak to every day, and we encourage each other constantly. I have a 13-year old bestie, which seems strange to people. She's Carol's granddaughter, and sometimes I steal her away for a movie or to hang at the house. I have a great friend in my neighbor, and her two-year-old who doesn't like anyone likes me! That is so fun.

Turns out...I have many, close female friends once I did the inventory!!!

The ones that I don't hear from or who don't want to be my friend are all just people who can go on with their lives without me. I don't care anymore. I am working on my ability to listen more to those who do like me, to allow people to speak more, to sit back more and just enjoy them and being mindful in the situation. I want to be someone people like, but I'm done bending over backwards and feeling not good enough no matter what I do.