|
Post by CodepNomore on May 22, 2014 6:10:26 GMT -8
The more we give room for a person to fill us up, the more powerless, emptier and frustrated we feel. Because no person and no relationship can ever satisfy and meet our needs for us. There is no perfect person or relationship. But we can be happy and satisfied on our own when we have good relationship with ourselves and HP.
Self-esteem is your gift to yourself. When you have healthy view of yourself you will be able to see clearly (in reality) and be at peace even if there is no one dating you or the person you like ignores and rejects you. Because you know that you are a complete valuable person and your life has a purpose.
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on May 22, 2014 20:40:21 GMT -8
It is not the end of the world when you end dating or your relationship with someone. As long as you are still alive you have plenty of chances and may choose to date or not. It is definitely not the answer to your loneliness or brokenness. There is more to life than being on a date or relationship. When you love what you have within you, it does not matter if you find a partner or not. You still have you and that's what counts. On the other hand, you are a step closer to finding the right one for you when you do not force things or get stuck with your last date who does not suit you.
Learn to trust your HP or the universe. Things beyond your control will work out on its own. What you can do is build your self-esteem and increase your self-worth.
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Oct 3, 2014 20:34:47 GMT -8
I remember my first or second boyfriend who habitually looks at other women and made me feel less than my true value. Although I did not feel insecure nor jealous, I did not feel good about it. So I dumped him soon enough (when he least expected it) for another loving and loyal boyfriend. It has hurt him deeply so much so that I heard from a reliable source that it took him 10 long years to recover from our break-up and moved on.
Well, I know my worth and I would not allow any cheap, flirtatious, over-friendly man to take it from me. Hello! No matter how charming a boyfriend or girlfriend might be, if it is hurting your self-esteem and making you feel not (good) enough, it is not worth it. Also, don't take a person for his/her words alone; there must be consistent action that supports them.
There is no question about it, you have to choose your dignity and sanity over any person and relationship that take you for granted or make you feel less than your real worth!
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Oct 26, 2014 9:18:42 GMT -8
I made it!!!! I made a successful business presentation and was able to close the deal and get my demands from this challenging and demanding company.
If you know your worth, you would stand by it and won't settle for anything less. In addition, you will gain more respect from other people and it can earn you a better deal.
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Nov 7, 2014 8:15:54 GMT -8
I can hardly believe that at this point I can still progress with my self-esteem and how useful it is in many aspects.
In my desire to develop and motivate my team well, I have been studying major stuff. And it happens to include our mental make-up: self-ideal, self-image, self esteem. I will not elaborate it anymore but it says that the more you like and respect yourself, the better you perform at everything you do. That developing and maintaining high levels of self-esteem is the most important thing you can do, everyday, in building yourself to the point where you are capable of achieving all your goals.
And whenever I declare something good/positive, it becomes a powerful reality to me. Hence, don't be surprised that I am becoming more aggressive in expressing what I believe. Try it...Speak good about yourself. It works!!
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Dec 4, 2014 2:52:45 GMT -8
When you feel good about yourself people take notice!
This morning I received a compliment from another woman saying how my buttocks are very firm and up! That it is so different from the average butts. (I'm just wearing an ordinary pants.) The other time, I was complimented for what they say as an "ideal posture". Several days ago, while some security guards of a shopping mall asked me to please remove my shade/eyewear and as I did they said, " Oh you are beautiful". Few weeks ago, some women in the locker room said how sexy I am! Months ago, young men followed me on my way home.
I am sharing this here, because I am not actually looking better than the average person. The only difference is I have a healthy self-esteem and I really feel good, positive, peaceful, joyful, complete inside! In other words or indirectly, these are the things other people are noticing and paying compliments to.
At my age, with no beauty medicine or cosmetic help. All natural. I can truly say that my beauty comes from within. Thanks to my HP.
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Dec 14, 2014 10:02:38 GMT -8
Thanks, Paisley. I'm sure you can very well relate. Earlier, I went to my hairstylist who has known me for many years (though I only get to see him every few years since I'm always traveling). He said to me that I look so happy and as I get older I am becoming even leaner or fitter. That I am really looking good. (He is a beautiful and very neat 'gay'. Then before I left, I gave him a unique shade of lipstick and he said that he now has his "dream lipstick". It being one of the most expensive, signature brand lipsticks which he only gets to see in the magazines according to him. Thank God that time and time again, my choice of gifts are mostly even better than what they wanted and/or expected. Even sometimes it only costs a little. But still, it's the thought that counts.) I am surprised too that people are seeing me this way!!! So how we feel inside really shows on the outside. Also, I am strongly encouraging you to speak well of yourself from the heart and not simply 'memorized it', (better to personalize your affirmation) ...'cause you can't fake what's on the inside.
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Jan 13, 2015 8:08:47 GMT -8
I just came out of this hotel in another city, with my hair still wet, wearing a jacket and a comfy short. Some men shouted "Wow, hot legs!" And since I am new to this place, I asked someone to drive for me. Then the driver kept telling me, how beautiful I am and I look like a "hot celebrity". Haha.
This is becoming a regular thing for me -- to get complimented wherever I go, when I least expected it. I never dressed up to impress and I am all-natural. It is just that I have an active and healthy lifestyle and outlook. They always have mistaken me at least 15 years younger than my actual age. So being healthy is really very empowering and totally worth it.
I am encouraging you to live healthy, confidently, joyfully and peacefully and you'll look younger too aside from feeling great!
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Feb 18, 2015 2:54:34 GMT -8
I watched recently Salma Hayek's latest starring role and my goodness, she has an amazing body! She is not only gifted with great genes but she's able to keep her body in great shape. I told my very long time good friend that Salma has one of the best bodies and I admired her for staying fit.
Then my close friend said to me, "Just like you. You are able to stay fit all throughout the years. (We've been friends for almost 20 years.) What's your secret?" I responded, "Consistency and doing it for your own good and not to impress."
Last week a male colleague said to me, "How can you keep your body in great shape? Because I have girl friends who after being fit for a while became really fat." One of the things I said, "For lasting results, the motivation should be inwardly directed. Doing it out of love and not as an obligation or duty....."
I started in sports since I was a kid and continued to do so to this very day. I am not only maintaining my fitness level but even improving it. Not only that I look around 15 to 20 years younger (based on feedback), but also my energy level is incredible. I can actively swim using 4 strokes alternately for 3 hours without a break except to sip water for few seconds. I run for 2 hours straight. Lift heavy weights. My skin, teeth, hair, are healthy also. Thanks to God for a healthy and active lifestyle.
For your self-esteem, I highly recommend taking self-care, self-responsibility and staying Spiritually connected.
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Feb 19, 2015 8:18:27 GMT -8
I missed my devotional reading for few days in a row. So last February 17 was about "self-care" which I just read this morning. Part of it says :
"When you feel frustrated, it is usually because you are trying to do what only God can do. Retire from self-care and start trusting God more. Ask God for what you want and need and trust that he will give it to you in his own way and timing.
As long as we practice "self-care", we aren't letting God fully take care of us the way he wants to. In what areas of your life are you trusting yourself rather than trusting God? Thank him for wanting to take care of you, and ask him to help you put your trust in him."
- Joyce Meyer
Wow, I got corrected for "self-care". (I just happened to post about it yesterday.) Come to think of it, my self-care is in vain and is nothing compared to how much my HP takes care of me. Yes, I recognized that even when I was just a kid, he has been the one keeping me well. Not me. So now I am trusting him more to care for me. He is the source of my confidence too.
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Feb 24, 2015 11:48:33 GMT -8
After leaving social media for years, I decided to try Twitter again (not FB). Just few hours ago, I started my Twitter account with only very few basic titles in my profile. Then I started following a very well-known reputable business icon. And logged-out. That's it.
Suddenly, Twitter messaged me that this business icon sent me a direct personal message. I haven't read it. But I am very excited and grateful that my work is paying off in the industry where I am contributing.
Wow, can't believe this is really happening to me. Though I have been blessed to work with outstanding people and clients, I did not expect this at all. What an extra boost for my already healthy self-esteem. But at the same time, I feel humbled that I have reached this point by and through the overflowing grace of God in my life. Oh wonderful dreams do come true!
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Feb 28, 2015 6:20:17 GMT -8
So Mr Business Icon has been giving me a lot of free books. I am too eager to read them but I have no free time so I haven't even opened the books nor read a word inside. Just the cover. And yet he is still supplying me with great resources along with other reputable names in business. They have been asking for my feedback but I cannot pretend or flatter or create a false one. So I just did not respond to any of them. As for Twitter, hah I only went there once since I created that account. I have no time left to read.
However, things are going great with me. I hope people here will learn to value themselves more and avoid self-depreciating, critical thoughts that just make things worse. Life is what you make it!
|
|
|
Post by terryt on Mar 12, 2015 17:26:38 GMT -8
The crazy thing about self esteem is that you constantly second guess yourself.
I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissistic "ambivalent love addict"*....at least I think that's what he is. He abuses alcohol, people, himself and our environment.
I have been in and out of the relationship so many times in the past 8 years that I couldn't even tell you how many times I have ended it in my head....and with him too.
He constantly complained about everything (in his own life and mine) when he has a very good life and so much to be grateful for. He criticized me and everything about me...constantly....jokingly in many ways but very openly too. Except for when we were "off" and he wanted to be "on" with me again. He is a sex addict....I think....but I still have a hard time pinning that on him.....not sure why. For some reason I have some sort of crazy respect for him....as I would for all human beings that walk the planet....we are all one, yadda yadda
Why on earth would I second guess myself about my feelings for him and about him? Why on earth would I want anything to do with this guy?
He crosses every boundary I have for myself....he doesn't measure up to my values at all.
Why on gods green earth would I sit for one minute and miss him or anything about him.
I do understand why but that is only a part of my brain. There is still this other part that makes me want to go racing back to him....which I am not going to do!
I hope that one day I will understand it all and I will not feel the pull to want him back in my life.
*The term ambivalent love addict was created by Susan Peabody for her new workbook.
|
|
|
Post by terryt on Mar 12, 2015 17:38:28 GMT -8
On a brighter note however. I am thrilled for myself and how far I have come in my recovery. I have regained and "reclaimed" much of my self esteem since ending this extremely painful very debilitating relationship. One that I could have never imagined or thought possible in my life. I have learned so much about myself, my past, my family, friendships, spirituality and about life in general. The more I read the healthier and calmer I become. It feels so good to read and learn about all of this. Reading and writing....but mostly reading has been and continues to be my solace.
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Mar 13, 2015 10:59:06 GMT -8
terryt, thank you for sharing your experience. We are proud of your progress. I am really glad that you have realized that you deserved so much better; protecting yourself from a Narcissist by setting up a recovery boundary, and building up your self-esteem. We are rooting for you. Keep us posted.
|
|
|
Post by CodepNomore on Nov 22, 2015 6:11:21 GMT -8
For the past many years I have been focusing on self-esteem until it became too much. (So I understood well Rousey's attitude, good or bad. It happens especially when someone is always winning, aggressive, competitive, and in contact sports like MMA.) As it turns out humility and gentleness are what I truly needed all along. Self-esteem is good as long as it is done within limit.
|
|
|
Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 22, 2015 12:20:05 GMT -8
Self-esteem is good as long as it is done within limit. I like the way the Book of Wisdom [Bible] puts it. "Love others as much as you love yourself . . ." Not more. Not less. Just right as Goldilocks shows us.
|
|