Post by Loving My Life on Oct 24, 2012 14:10:50 GMT -8
I have been in a emotional battlefield with myself all day today, it has not been a good day, but everyday is not going to be a good day.
but it just reminds me of how bad I once felt when my poa was in contact with me on a daily basis.
It has been almost 6 months since I last had contact with my poa, and I have really been focused on myself and what I want to do in my life now, well somethings shifted over the weekend, and I started thinking about him alot, and this is where the battle within myself started...
When I woke up this morning I was physically sick at my stomach, with the thoughts of this man, and upset with myself for even thinking i needed to even speak with him.
I felt like I could not think straight, so I have been sleeping on and off all day, I just keep thinking about our whole relationship and how nasty and hateful this person was and is....and it just makes me sick.
So I guess this is what is going to happen from time to time the further removed I get from this person..plus it does not help either that he is in jail now for the umpteenth time, and some of the people that he is in jail with are pretty bad people, so guess what, so is he.
I never knew this person, and really still dont, I just can not believe what a bad choice I made with this person, I could have been hurt really bad, or worse I could have been killed...it just hurts so bad know, when i see the whole picture.
This too shall pass, and my higher power has brought me this far, and he protected me thru this whole deal, he stopped me from getting in my car and going to meet this man, and he stopped me today, from writing him a letter, while he is locked up.
Just keep me in your prayers, most days i do pretty good, but for some reason today, and for the last week, it is like iam having flashbacks...
I have never been thru anything like this, so i guess this is normal.
Thanks for listening... :-)
but it just reminds me of how bad I once felt when my poa was in contact with me on a daily basis.
It has been almost 6 months since I last had contact with my poa, and I have really been focused on myself and what I want to do in my life now, well somethings shifted over the weekend, and I started thinking about him alot, and this is where the battle within myself started...
When I woke up this morning I was physically sick at my stomach, with the thoughts of this man, and upset with myself for even thinking i needed to even speak with him.
I felt like I could not think straight, so I have been sleeping on and off all day, I just keep thinking about our whole relationship and how nasty and hateful this person was and is....and it just makes me sick.
So I guess this is what is going to happen from time to time the further removed I get from this person..plus it does not help either that he is in jail now for the umpteenth time, and some of the people that he is in jail with are pretty bad people, so guess what, so is he.
I never knew this person, and really still dont, I just can not believe what a bad choice I made with this person, I could have been hurt really bad, or worse I could have been killed...it just hurts so bad know, when i see the whole picture.
This too shall pass, and my higher power has brought me this far, and he protected me thru this whole deal, he stopped me from getting in my car and going to meet this man, and he stopped me today, from writing him a letter, while he is locked up.
Just keep me in your prayers, most days i do pretty good, but for some reason today, and for the last week, it is like iam having flashbacks...
I have never been thru anything like this, so i guess this is normal.
Thanks for listening... :-)