Post by Bo on Jul 8, 2011 16:10:45 GMT -8
Atlas, I have a real feeling of Self Confidence now. It's growing like the fragrant flower that appears before a fruit develops. It's growing inside of me.
It's a result of feeling my dysfunctional Love Addicted emotions and having the courage to welcome and experience the fear and loneliness emotions. I now know what it feels like to have my fearful emotions and not reach out to a PoA , any man, food, boasting bragging words, or a status symbol anything, to soothe me.
While sitting with the pain of my past, behaviors and fearful dark emotions for several days (not acting out), I read, read, re-read and understood Step 11. "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out".
The core of me is starting to feel unshakable. I am starting to feel the real me of who I am. I feel like I am starting to actually mature. a real metamorphosis is happening. Fear is dull and fading.
It's hard to explain but this feels like Self Confidence and it feels good!
It's a result of feeling my dysfunctional Love Addicted emotions and having the courage to welcome and experience the fear and loneliness emotions. I now know what it feels like to have my fearful emotions and not reach out to a PoA , any man, food, boasting bragging words, or a status symbol anything, to soothe me.
While sitting with the pain of my past, behaviors and fearful dark emotions for several days (not acting out), I read, read, re-read and understood Step 11. "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out".
The core of me is starting to feel unshakable. I am starting to feel the real me of who I am. I feel like I am starting to actually mature. a real metamorphosis is happening. Fear is dull and fading.
It's hard to explain but this feels like Self Confidence and it feels good!
