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Post by winter on Sept 21, 2008 13:02:23 GMT -8
I was thinking about things today and realized even as a kid the memories I DO have are kinda scarey. I was a fantasy addict even as a kid!?
I remember being up at my aunts house . My cousin ( much older ) brought me to the lake near by. I HATED the lake cause of the fish and all. I was a city girl and wasn't having it or going in to swim. There was a neighborhood kid there my cousin knew of. He was there with his blow up boat. My hero! I was so shy I didn't want to go in it with him and had the biggest crush cause he asked me to. We didn't talk , I don't even remember his name but I swore he was just as much in love with me as I was him lol. I felt like I secretly knew this and we were destined to be together etc. I remember seeing him outside playing ball or something on my aunts street but knew not where he lived. I watched him as I passed him on my way home with my mother adn that was the last I seen him. It was over 20 years ago but I still think about him. I am sure he whoever he is... wouldn't even remember that day!
Was I born this way?! Ot just trying to escape from things at home?
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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 21, 2008 13:35:20 GMT -8
Both. Love addicts by nature like to fantasize and we do so to excess to escape what is going on at home. When I was a child I was put in the hospital for 4 months and had nothing to do but ruminate in my head. What I don't know is why I chose to fantasize about love instead of growing up to be a famous singer or something. When I got into recovery I did not stop fantasizing, I just started fantasizing about something else. My career as a writer. My relationship with God. Anything but romantic love. |
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Post by sobrietythirst on Sept 21, 2008 15:21:29 GMT -8
I am so glad that someone started a post about this. It's a constant task stopping myself from having full conversation with a past POA fantasizing about a dreamed conclusion or closure we never had. I also fantasize about meeting some unifidenitified romantic person who I'll be with in the future that will make me happy.
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Post by judy on Sept 21, 2008 16:24:51 GMT -8
hi all - Yes, this was a biggie for me. I used to listen to people in 12 step rooms talk about living in a fantasy world and I would think "Hhmph - not me.". Oh lord, was I deluded!
My whole LIFE was a fantasy. First it was the career fantasy which started at about 12. Actually, I thank God for it because it got me out of my hometown and the life I know I would have ended up living.
But like my love addiction, I kept hanging on to elements of that fantasy that just weren't happening, and were making me miserable.
Then with my last POA - wow, did I get in touch with what the fantasizing does to me! The conversations in my head, the dreams, the hopes, the writing the script! I realized years ago with this guy that my fantasies were so REAL to me that his rebuff and rejection were just excruciating. I may as well have been IN the relationship I fantasized about. It hurt that much.
But it is so hard not to fantasize. I think you really have to make a conscious effort NOT TO. The thoughts come endlessly with me, but I have been using that "STOP" method. It seems to work. The thing is, too, at this point - I really DON'T want to fantasize about him anymore. I really don't.
The last vestiges of this obsession with him are the remaining jealous feelings I have when I see his fiancee. That still stings. Emotionally. Intellectually, I'm OK with it. Spiritually, I'm OK with hit. But emotionally - I'm that little teenager watching my boyfriend walk another girl home.
Oh well. I'm feeling some kind of faith lately that just doing this program one day at a time is going to build and build. One day it's all going to feel alright.
I also feel that REALITY is infinitely more interesting and exciting and profound than fantasy.
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Post by winter on Sept 22, 2008 8:22:59 GMT -8
I am so glad that someone started a post about this. It's a constant task stopping myself from having full conversation with a past POA fantasizing about a dreamed conclusion or closure we never had. I also fantasize about meeting some unifidenitified romantic person who I'll be with in the future that will make me happy. As it is with me. I am a very ... whats the word I want to use... bad? deep? Fantasy addict. I have trouble keeping myself from fantasizing about many things even besides mens or relationships. Both past and future. I have a hard time staying in the present. I have a photo album in my head full of pictures of memories that never happened! For a while I mistake them for reality and say you don't remember this?! You were there! Thats when I knew I was going insane and had to do something, but for a while I blamed my X of just having a bad memory and lying cause he was good at that too, so I couldn't tell the difference or know who to believe my warped mind or his lies. I also go out and fantasize that these specific men I know have the same fantasies about me but of course they just never act out on them ... cause I mean that would kill the fantasy! Its just so easy, and I get so bored with reality I think... |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 22, 2008 10:36:16 GMT -8
I want to stress that love addicts don't stop fantasizing we just start fantasizing about other things. The exception would be the fantasy addict who can't work or function because the fantasies take up too much time. One of the secrets of my recovery is that when I was single I fantasized about a phantom lover and my Higher Power. I personify my Higher Power as I explain in many of my Christian articles on my website and one of the personifications was that of my awaited suitor. The poem is below. These fantasies made it really easy to stay single until the right person came along. Just don't get addicted to the fantasies and become an avoidance addict. I also fantasized about my career as a writer. Fantasies are a double-edged sword. They can be addictive and harmful or they can draw you closer to God and to your dreams. 11th step work (prayer and meditation) can include healthy fantasies. The important things is to have self-control and the CHOOSE what you fantasize about. The Awaited Suitor
My heart pines away; I sing the blues.
I ask now and then: Where are you?
Are you real? Are you there for me?
When will I see you? When shall it be?
I face the horizon; I take God’s hand.
In great expectation, I look over the land.
Nothing happens; oh woe is me.
What shall I do? When will it be?
With tears in my eyes, I look up and smile.
God cups my face, and after awhile
He softly speaks, and breaks the news:
"I am the one who was chosen for you."
"Can you love me, year after year,
As you would have loved him if he had appeared?"
My face grew pale, and my body shook.
I took his hand, too frightened to look.
Then I agreed to give it a try.
My suitor was here; he had finally arrived. |
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chrissy
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Post by chrissy on Sept 22, 2008 12:03:16 GMT -8
Fantasy has been an issue for me as long as I can remember..most likely because of all the craziness in my household growing up...one date with someone and I started planning our lives together...
If we broke up I would envision myself thinner prettier winning the person back and living happily after..
Today I work at staying grounded focusing on other things, tough stuff..
I would sometimes say things like " you know you love me" after one or two dates...acting like I was joking-hoping it was true..
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Post by fluffybunny on Sept 22, 2008 21:31:52 GMT -8
I remember having romantic fantasies from about seven years old. I think it came from pure loneliness. I had one fantasy crush object after another my whole life. It reached its worst point when I spent two years in a fantasy about a particular coworker who had asked me if I wanted to go out sometime, then never followed up on it. I finally pushed it and got one lunch date out of him. He never asked me out again, but gave me just enough encouragement to keep me hoping (it didn't take much of course).
I'd hate to count the hours I spent imagining him finally asking me out, and what our date would be like. I didn't really take it beyond that first date, that would end at my doorstep with one perfect hug and kiss.
I didn't quit living in that dreamworld til he started dating someone else from the office. I actually overheard him asking her out. I was so furious. I had convinced myself he was just not assertive enough to ask me out or had some block against dating or something. But no... he just didn't want to date *me*. That slap in the face woke me up out of dreamland.
After that I started noticing and trying to limit fantasizing. One thing that helped more than pure willpower was adding some enjoyable activities to my life. I think the fantasy really only flourishes when my life is really empty. It didn't take much-- just some yoga classes and a skating partner.
I still fantasize but I don't spend big chunks of my life lost in it like I did.
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beth
New Member
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Post by beth on Sept 22, 2008 22:26:39 GMT -8
This is embarrassing to report, but I got SUCH a crush on a kid in 6th grade (I'm 51) and I STILL have dreams about him...! We're old friends by now in the dreams, after all these years; it's actually quite enjoyable to meet up with him now and then. In reality I may have spoken two sentences to him in high school; but I apparently continue to remain attached to him unconsciously 40 years later!!!
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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 23, 2008 12:38:14 GMT -8
Beth, why are you embarrassed. You shouldn't be. |
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Post by asianaries on Oct 12, 2008 17:03:53 GMT -8
Wow! this is a good topic...I think I fantasize way too much too. I remember when I was 7 years old I would fantasize about being a singer or somebody famous. I would go off into theses LALA lands and just dose off, I scare myself sometimes how much of a dreamer I can be.
I also remember when I was 13 years old, I had a crush on this guy for so long and he ended up dating one of the girls I go to school with. I was crushed! and overly obsessive... but he didn't know it because I would hide it so well. I didn't want him to think I was some crazy girl that didn't know better. I would think about him constantly and was overly obsessive about him. The only way I would stop having these obsessive thoughts & feelings, was if I found a new crush ...or a new "victim" to daydream about.
I caught myself in an early age... really losing myself too freely at times, and it really scares the heck out of me! I hated that feeling of being vulnerable, and I hated that feeling of being out of control.
That's why I don't like being in serious relationships because of that "losing control" feeling that creeps up when I feel like I'm commited. Not just only when it comes to being in relationships, also when it comes down to school and being successful. I hate telling people my accomplishments because they will just overwhelm me and I will feel like I'm losing myself again.
I used to sing a lot when I was younger in school's talent shows and festivels. I was known as the asian girl with a black girls voice around town. I started to daydream WAY TOO MUCH at times & have thoughts of being a famous singer at a certain age. It SCARED ME! I was so caught up about how I wanted my future to be like ... that I didn't learn how to enjoy the present moment.
My thing is just to focus on the here and now and not worry about anything else. Continue in trying to recover from whatever addictions that I have to deal with, go to school and get my degree and also find healthier ways of making myself happy without feeling like I'm losing myself. Just be happy with me!
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erin
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Post by erin on Oct 14, 2008 16:31:10 GMT -8
well count me in. I have fantasized for as long as I can remember. My home like was ok...but we moved around alot (dad got transfered) and it became a place of comfort for me until i met new kids. Love fantasies for the most part...but there were also career ones.
fantasies are great..I can always control the outcome and if I liked one particular fantasy I could do it over and over and over. lol. I thought (or hoped) i would grow out of them..but i sure havent.
When Im busy in real life..I dont need them ..but give me too much free time or let some stressful events occur.. and I need them back again.
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2muchpain
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Post by 2muchpain on Oct 14, 2008 21:20:03 GMT -8
I have fantasized since I was 5 years old. The following are what I have fantasized about:
being a famous singer
being someone like Carol Burnett
being on Broadway
being married to Andy Griffith on the show
having Charles Ingals from "Little house" as my father
having any number of boys I knew sweep me off my feet
being president of my national association
being a famous author
being the parent of a pro football player or the president
My death
my husband's death
my POA leaving his wife for me
My Poa being mean to me and then dying from shame
being thin
I could go on and on. I tell myself that it is all fantasy and reality can be much better if I can recognize that and choose to live in it!
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Post by roz2008 on Nov 23, 2008 6:52:48 GMT -8
I have always been a fantasizer too. It wasn't until I joined this fellowship, that I saw that this is one of us Love Addicts personality traits. I remember about a week before I hit a bottom, and joined, I was trying to make some sense of my fantiszing, and thought about the little boy in the Looney Toons cartoons. He would sit in the classroom, look out of the window, and dream. The bulk of the cartoon would be his fantasy. He would be an Indian Cheif, or a great warrior....and soon his teacher would call him back to reality. I looked him up on line and found his name to be Ralph. I downloaded his picture and pasted it to my mirror. About a week later, I was talking to my OA sponsor about blooiz, (my last POA) and she said that she didn't think I was expressing love, but obssession. This angry me off, but I remember breaking down and crying and saying, I don't know how to love! Only how to, gulp.....obssess! I don't know! And then went on line and found this place.
Today I am progressing at fantasizing, and like the idea of choosing them. I have a vision of being a book on tape reader. Many have told me that I have a talent for this. So, I will take Peadbody's suggestion and fantasize more about it. I can also use the vision process of my DA program and visualize myself taking the steps to do this. Vision boards also help.
One more thing. Today I am caught up in the Twilight books. I catch myself fantasizing about the character Edward. Today, I see how these type of stories feed into my addiction, and get young girls started on expectations of men that aren't realistic. Not that these stories are bad....they are fun....but for someone like me, I start in on thinking that a man is:
-always there
-will fly to my rescue, and should
-will have the perfect body shape
-will fight for me...and win
-will have enough money to purchase anything I want
-will take me on trips
-will be the ultimate lover
So, I must continue to be able to seperate reality from fantasy.
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Post by shattereddreams on Nov 23, 2008 11:36:55 GMT -8
I have always retreated into my head and fantasized. I think I first started to get "boy crazy" when I was in about third grade. I would fantasize about the boy constantly. Each year in grade school, I had at least one major crush. As a shy and anxious child, I remember I would rather go to my bedroom and lie down and daydream than go outside and play with neighborhood children. In my bed, I felt safe....I could fantasize about a happier life where people didn't tease me or hurt my feelings. I never grew out of it....and I realize this last POA in my life I was carrying on a fantasy relationship with him in my head....I somehow magically believed he was thinking as often of me. So when we did hook up, I had this delusion that his feelings would be the same. All he wanted with me was a discreet, occasional, casual, secret affair....I thought I was adult enough to handle that....but I was carrying a torch for him, daydreaming about him constantly. Coming home from work and going straight to bed so I could lie there daydreaming and hoping perhaps he would call me. I felt like I had reverted back to being a teenager in love....
I look back and feel like I have wasted so much of my life because I retreated into fantasy and escapism instead of facing reality. I can see now that the fantasy was a way of self-soothing, it was an addiction, a way of hiding from my fears and anxieties.
I have just started NO CONTACT with my POA, not completely voluntarily, but because that is what he wants....I had hoped after our fight, if I forgave him then he would still allow me to be friends with him. Even though he treated me cruelly, I was willing to take the blame. A part of me fantasizes or eroticizes the fight....and that is when I realize how sick this addiction is....
I have to get this guy out of my head....NO CONTACT is a good start, but I have to stop giving into flights of fantasy about things being different and accept reality. It is over. What we had was unhealthy and not based in reality. The fairy tale is not going to come true. He is not my soulmate, he is not Mr. Right, he is an unstable mixed-up person who can't commit to a faithful relationship.
By the way, I have ADHD and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.....I think both of these contribute to my tendency to either space out and slip into fantasy land, or have the compulsion to obsessively fantasize about a situation. My POA was my obsession. Giving up that obsession....it is hard, because I feel empty. What will I do with my time?
I have started writing affirmation cards and carrying them with me, trying to take time to put some good thoughts into my head.
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Post by happygal1234 on Nov 24, 2008 17:18:59 GMT -8
I stopped myself from fantasizing about my POA. One of the ways I did it was to imagine how life is probably like in real life with him-he sits on the couch all night watching Fox News, drinking beer and farting. THAT stops my fantasies! Lol.
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godsguy
Full Member
Prayer Requests
GOD IS LOVE!
Posts: 146
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Post by godsguy on Dec 6, 2008 18:46:27 GMT -8
I can relate to Susan. When I was single these 2 things are all I fantasized about. Scary thing is, it wasn't a steady relationship partner it was someone to use until another fantasy took it's place. This really did not change or returned after I had been married a few months.
I think this is where I lost the connection with my HP. My HP took a back seat to the fantasies. Even though I never acted on them, it affected my relationship. Since NC, I find myself fantasizing more often than I would like. I thank Susan for mentioning the idea of finding alternatives to these unhealthy things.
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Post by Healing Heart on Jan 8, 2009 12:57:51 GMT -8
OMG, I'm so glad that someone started this thread because I thought I was alone in this. I was sitting in the hot tub the other day and was fantasizing about my xN coming into the room and then coming into the hot tub, what he would say to me, what he would do to me, etc. Finally, I came to, or at least that's how it feels, like coming to, and I realized what my mind was doing and I told myself that I was crazy for thinking like that and I moved on. I thought I was alone in this. Boy, I can't wait to stop thinking about this guy because it really bothers me that I go to bed thinking about him and I wake up from a dream about him...it is time consuming to say the least. I am 20 days today with NC at all so the withdrawal process is well under way and it still hurts like hell at times. The nice thing is I am putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing. Thanks everyone for sharing and the support.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 8, 2009 15:08:29 GMT -8
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latrommi
New Member
Always Faithful
Posts: 4
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Post by latrommi on Jan 8, 2009 19:43:12 GMT -8
Like so many others, I am glad this has been included. I always thought I was going insane for constantly fantasizing about whatever it was fantasizing about. It wasn't until a year (or two) ago, that I realized that some of my fantasies were just issues that were trying to work itself out. Some of them are for winning against those who have hurt me, some where I am the one that someone wants (as a friend or otherwise) and win over someone who just wants to use them, or some other factor. They all have something in common though....I'm the one that is loved and the other person (or people) are the "losers"....instead of the usual outcome of me being the "loser" and someone else the "winner".
And like the suggestions of fantasizing about something healthier...I'm learning to do that now as well. I am currently in college going after my degree. I keeps me busy, but it also helps me fantasize about my future would be after I graduate. (Hopefully, I can keep it in reality.)
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Post by respira on Jan 25, 2009 9:25:53 GMT -8
I fantasized for ever also!!! And I guess that since I was a little girl my fantasies were always something about romantic love. Even when I played with Barbies, there plot was always about some romantic drama, with the principal character always being adored by the ideal Ken who was totally hipnotized by her.
When I was 11 or 12 I remember perfectly that I have this fantastic crush with a guy from my school. I never even spoke to him, but spent almost 3 years fantasizing day and night about how much in love we were. When someone finally presented us, I cried!!!!! I dindn´t know why at that moment, but maybe unconsciouslly I knew that if I met him, I wouldn´t be able to continue that wonderful (and ureal) relationship with him anymore, because the relationship was only on my mind. I guess that when I saw my parents fighting was when I started fantasizing the most. I had no support those days but that ideal relationship. The problem is that it has become an addiction and it occupies all my life
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Post by sillypoppet on Feb 17, 2009 11:04:07 GMT -8
Oh wow.
Okay, so my mother always told me that I fantasize because I'm very right brained (think artist, writer, musician trio). I've come to realize, as of lately, that my fantasizing has gotten out of control. I'm not sure when it happened. I just remember over the past four years coming home from school (or work), crawling into bed, and listening to my ipod for a couple of hours. Now I do it at work when there's nothing to do (I work by myself in a small room and can't leave it unless someone comes in to break me). It's highly unhealthy. Sometimes I listen to extremely sad music, get myself worked up to tears, and imagine my ex doing something terrible, saying something terrible, humiliating me, or re-living the break-up (I've labeled this in my head emotionally cutting, but not physically damaging my body).
I was feeling really down this morning (have been since Sunday). I spent about half an hour imagining this guy (he calls himself a "friend," but really he just wants sex) being abusive towards me. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. After I got myself all worked up, I decided it was pointless.
Lately when I start fantasizing, I will imagine handling the situation in a better way. For example, walking away from the person and remaining calm. Or if it's my most recent ex, throwing a glass full of beer in his face (okay, not so positive). I think I am crazy.
Does anyone do this? I haven't really talked to my therapist about it... I just feel a little crazy to bring it up. I'm not going to hurt myself physically or anything. I hate sharp objects and hate the sight of blood. I'm not suicidal either. I feel like that would just confirm to everyone that I really am (or was) a loser.
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Post by feejruin on Apr 11, 2009 11:57:15 GMT -8
I also feel that REALITY is infinitely more interesting and exciting and profound than fantasy. im amazed that after all these years, i only consciously came to this realization very recently. denial is such a powerful force. |
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Post by havefaith on Apr 11, 2009 13:01:46 GMT -8
My obsessive fantasizing is my biggest obstacle. I am coming to the realization that my fantasies are very, very selfish as well. I tend to pull out of a man that which I need to serve MY purposes. I don't look at the whole man - his strengths, flaws, needs, history, family -- in essence, what makes him human. I pick and choose the parts of him that play to my fantasy. I objectify him (not fair to him) - which now distorts reality - which feeds my fantasy - which keeps me unhealthy and adds to the insanity of this addiction. Ugly.
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Post by setfree on Apr 11, 2009 20:30:46 GMT -8
I'm thankful for this thread, too. Since coming to this board, I'm more aware of the times I slip into fantasizing about my POA. The one who is friendly to me but is not asking me out. As someone said earlier, she thought her POA just had a block when it came to dating until she overheard him asking someone else out! I can see that happening to me.
I can't wait until I get to the point where I am no longer trying to figure him out. That's a huge part of my sickness.
Tonight I was fantasizing about him and decided to ask myself why. It turns out that I was at a function for my kids and I didn't know anybody so I felt alone, so I started fantasizing he was with me. I realized that I was just doing it because I was hurting.
I amazed at all the similarities to myself I see in the posts here!
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laurie13
Junior Member
"Be good to yourself, cause nobody else has the power to make you happy."
Posts: 61
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Post by laurie13 on Apr 19, 2009 7:04:27 GMT -8
I have been fantasizing most of my life about romantic love. When I was in relationship, I fantasized about romantic things I want him to do for me and I was never satisfied. I fantasized that he would change and I will be finally happy. When I was alone, I fantasized about next man who will be my rescuer.
Because of my love addiction and fantasies I've never been living in reality. That's how I've been escaping from reality.
And I also didn't make smart decisions. In fact I made decisions that have affected my health and finances. For example:
When I was a torchbearer I didn't want to accept better job just to be around him. I just thought about him all the time, how he would leave his girlfriend and rescue me and we will live happily ever after.
OMG, how blind and naive I was!
Love was till recently all I was interested in. Not carrier, not money, just love. I used to think that love is the meaning of life and that it is natural to feel so much pain. I've been escaping from reality to food and love addiction.
Now I have to start from the beginning and find something else to think about. I must learn to think about me for change and not let fantasies affect my life anymore. I have to stop escaping from myself.
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dearprudence
New Member
The sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you.
Posts: 35
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Post by dearprudence on Apr 20, 2009 15:34:13 GMT -8
First of all, to everyone on the forum I have a bad habit of getting too much into detail about my problems so sorry but it helps me get out those feelings.  Like everyone on this thread, I have been fantasizing all my life pretty much. Especially about musicians, rockstars, etc. But when reality hit me one day, that I'd never be with this one rockstar ever and I was deeply "into him"...it crushed me. I was depressed for weeks, because he was my ideal man. I wanted him soooooo badly. For a time I still fantasized about him. Then, I did something naive and chased this guy I kinda liked at school who was also kinda my friend (my POA/crush right now that I'm trying to get away from) to get over the fantasy. I made myself think that the rockstar, and this friend were almost the same person. I always compared them, and I got myself attached to the friend for who he probably was not. I fantasized that I finally found my own version of the rockstar in real life. I got especially attached, when he told me he used to like me. I thought I had some chance or whatever. I was naive for getting my hopes high, because he said he USED to like me. Why would that make me want him more? Well it did, and for a long time I lived my days depressed about getting rejected by him. I also fantasized a lot about him. It ended up that he said he didn't like me like he used to, which made me feel like the most loneliest person on Earth. I got hurt whenever he flirted with other girls around me. I also was extremely jealous of this girl, that I found out he liked, and hoped he would get rejected by her also. Turned out he did, and the revenge tasted so sweet! Though, not so much because I was also once his friend and I wanted to help him. He had also some problems going on in his life, but he pushed me away and seemed like he didn't need my help. Some things happened even before he said he didn't like me. This naive incident where I was talking about the same rockstar I had been fantasizing about for a while, the one who I left behind for this friend. The irony of it all is that his music helps me get through life, but he himself was the very word temptation. Anyways, I was talking about the rockstar around the POA (I always did to make him jealous because I knew he would never like me again), maybe getting tattoo of the rockstar on my arm. He questioned why I would, because it would be a lot of pain to get it. I said "I'll sacrifice myself for him." Then, he said to me "Why? He's gonna die anyways." And it hurt me soooooo much. The POA of which I ran to after being depressed about the same rockstar he said would die anyways...wow. Maybe I overreacted, but after that I didn't really talk to him. Since that incident, our "relationship" as "friends" collapsed and the fact that I liked him was more emphasized. Then, after our friendship collapsed I started looking at other guys that reminded me of him and this rockstar...and I started fantasizing about them too. Yup, and this ALL happened in a span of 2 years (including this year). Uggh it's a naive cycle I need and want to stop! From fantasy to another fantasy, AND about guys who are unattainable. It never ends... Fantasizing has gotten me into many sticky situations (not literary hahaha gladly) and I wish I could just stop doing this! I will pray to God that I will not fantasize to the point I am hurting myself. |
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Post by judy on Apr 21, 2009 4:21:07 GMT -8
When I was 19 I moved to the big city to go to school for a career I had wanted since I was 12.
Right off the bat I fell for a student in my class who looked like a TV star that I liked.
We hooked up and it was DISASTROUS. Two years of my life that should have been devoted to experiencing the greatest city in the world and to my studies.
And that was just one of the love addicted disasters.
In anycase pru - consider yourself extremely lucky that you found this site at such an early age. If you can get a grip on this now and start living your life in recovery with healthy boundaries and direction you can save yourself years of pain. You can have a good life.
I know some pretty popular rock stars. They're human. Like all of us.
Do you see a therapist?
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dearprudence
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Post by dearprudence on Apr 22, 2009 16:58:08 GMT -8
When I was 19 I moved to the big city to go to school for a career I had wanted since I was 12. Right off the bat I fell for a student in my class who looked like a TV star that I liked. We hooked up and it was DISASTROUS. Two years of my life that should have been devoted to experiencing the greatest city in the world and to my studies. And that was just one of the love addicted disasters. In anycase pru - consider yourself extremely lucky that you found this site at such an early age. If you can get a grip on this now and start living your life in recovery with healthy boundaries and direction you can save yourself years of pain. You can have a good life. I know some pretty popular rock stars. They're human. Like all of us. Do you see a therapist? Judy... Yeah, I could see myself doing the EXACT same thing when I become 19, but I promise you I won't... I guess I am pretty lucky. Thanx for making me realize that I am.  Yes, that's why I fantasized a lot with the ones I were into. They felt human like me, and beyond that celebrity status there was something inside of them that I could reach out to or so I thought. I don't see a therapist. My mom doesn't seem to think I have a problem. One time, I told my grandma though that there was something wrong with me, and I should seek a therapist...she questioned why we should we pay for it and that I don't need it. She said all I need was faith in God. I don't know. Would seeing a therapist be a good idea? 2 of my close friends had therapists at some point of their lives. Maybe I should ask one of them about reccomending me to someone? |
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Post by lovely1 on Apr 22, 2009 18:27:17 GMT -8
I also fantasize about meeting some unifidenitified romantic person who I'll be with in the future that will make me happy. This has been my problem. It's relatively easy for me to get rid of a POA (I've had several). My problem is recruiting someone new or thinking (fantasizing) that there is a way I can have someone else--even tho I'm married--and I can do this honorably. That is definitely unrealistic. I get one man and that's all. Enter the number 2 and click on go to continue this thread. |
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