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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 2, 2011 8:14:23 GMT -8
I need to share this, iam so upset and confused i can not see straight. I believe my POA that i have been having a phone relationship with for the last 2 years is my sisters boyfriend, (she does not live in the same state as me, plus i have never met her bf of 5 yrs nor have i ever seen a pic of him), for the last few months i started to believe this b/c of some things she said to me, and there are just to many similairities, i dont believe it is just a conidence. I called him out on this and of course he is ignoring me now. I would never want my sisters bf, but iam really disturbed and upset...i have no where to put my anger. I need suggestions..I just sick at my stomach. thx everyone. ;-)
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Sept 2, 2011 8:36:12 GMT -8
hello Carolyn...wow...sorry to hear you are having a rough time....i am not good with anger either...my first thought is to give your anger a voice ..put the anger into words and talk with your higher power about it.......then put it in your God box....whatever the outcome...it doesnt sound healthy to me....and i am glad u took some action.....turn it over and it will turn out...
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Post by Herenow on Sept 2, 2011 11:38:01 GMT -8
Carolyn,
So sorry to hear of your situation. When I get really angry I clean out closets, and other household chores to get my brain functioning/organized and then I try to sit with it in meditation, or journal about it or share it with close, safe friends, usually program friends. and I try to remember feelings aren't facts and this too shall pass.
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Post by LovelyJune on Sept 2, 2011 12:01:05 GMT -8
Before you assume this to be the case, calmly find out the fact. OR walk away right now and don't look back. Maybe come clean with your sis.
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Sept 2, 2011 13:10:05 GMT -8
Whatever you do make sure you don't drive in that state! Try to get your anger out on paper. That is a weird situation and I can understand you being really upset by the possibility. It's hard to know if there is any use telling your sister about it if you're not sure it's him. It could really alienate your sister from you. I'd try to see it as one of the pitfalls of having a purely online relationship and use this shock as a way to resolve not to have one like it again.
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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 2, 2011 15:11:51 GMT -8
thx everyone, i will never have a online relationship again, it does make me sad that I probably will not be going to see my sis either. im praying for comfort, and i just not going to look back. if i knew for sure it was my sis bf, i probably would tell her, but i dont have enough evidence of that so i will just chalked this one up as a lesson learned. thx for letting me share.
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Post by runrunrun on Sept 2, 2011 17:54:19 GMT -8
Vent the anger here. And pray for Gods help in dissipating it (eventually). Your anger is probably good thing right now as its telling you that something is not right. Are you addicted to this person? If so then maybe its time to let go of the relationship.
RRR
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Post by happyberry on Sept 2, 2011 18:16:43 GMT -8
online relationships are very dangerous. So much room for fantasy.
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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 3, 2011 3:55:34 GMT -8
rrr, at one time yes i was addicted to my POA, but since ive been on here for 2 months i dont want him anymore, i guess i thought i was over him. i going to get out and go to a face to face mtg today and that will make me feel better, and i really need to start exercising and i can burn up the anger.
HB you are exactly right, that was my first and last online relationship...it was all one big lie on his part, and i was naive so i dont care about going back to fantasyland.
thx for listening, and giving me somewhere to vent. ;-)
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Sept 4, 2011 3:42:35 GMT -8
Vent away. Have you seen Catfish?
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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 4, 2011 4:26:34 GMT -8
jaca, I have seen a little bit of that about "catfish", it very interesting. Iam better today, anger gone. One day @ a time....thank god there is only 24 hours in a day. whew i dont like being angry. i got out a little yesterday, wrote, prayed, shared were i was, and feel alot better this morning. thx all ;-)
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Sept 4, 2011 7:26:41 GMT -8
on monday ...i started to do 30 minutes or more of exercising and i committed to doing it everyday....whether it be a walk to the park...or water walking...or caulking out front of my home........and it helps with my anger and stress....and hopefully the scale will show it too....i think i know why its been said that my hp took off on the 7th day....i do need to rest...maybe that is why i am posting alot today.....let me know if u started to do your workouts....its so good for us.....i find myself....wanting not to do it...because i was so use to feeling down and i just didnt even want to do good for me....and now ....once i committ to it....i do it....
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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 4, 2011 7:37:24 GMT -8
sun, i have not yet, but i need to start tomorrow, and start walking on my treadmill daily or at least every other day...thx for asking it gives me someone to keep me on track. lol
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Sept 4, 2011 15:41:57 GMT -8
carolyn...your welcome....that would be helpful for me too....i really wanted to do some more work around the house today...but i have been doing way too much...and actually right now i am laying down in bed...and relaxing....could be a first in a long time....I treated myself to a 16 ounce decaf hazelnut wawa coffee.....it was pretty good actually....i gave up 16 ounces of regular hazelnut coffee about 12 days ago....and i didnt know what the heck was with me today...so i treated myself....and it was decaf....wow i guess i am changing.....Monday...i will be doing something that is worth a 30 minute workout...how about u?
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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 4, 2011 16:40:10 GMT -8
hey sun, that coffee sounds good, do they have those @ starbucks? good for you resting. I just got home from my 12 step mtg, and im secretary for another mtg committee, it felt good to see all of my recovery friends, and laugh and cut up. tomorrow im going to start walking on my treadmill and clean house...i feel so much better today, so i guess getting anger did help me, b/c i have not thought too much abt my poa today, god is good, and helps us when we help ourselves. just keep it simple ;-)
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Sept 4, 2011 19:17:47 GMT -8
hi carolyn....i am not sure about starbucks.....it feels great to relax...i have been doing it all night...awesome that you saw your recovery friends...i also ran into a recovery friend today at the park...i force myself to go out today....I even journaled...said the serenity prayer and asked my angels to help me get out of the house...and i went to the park...and sat in the car with the door open...and i saw D. and waved hi....she came over to me...and asked me if i was okay and if i wanted to walk or sit with her....at first i didnt even want to admit i wasnt okay....we walked over the water part and sat there and talked for an hour and a half...i really was in a funk about my mom.....and everything i shared with her...it came back to me...in a very different perspective...she was giving it to me from what she felt was my mom's way....and she really enlightened me...I just seem to see alot of my relationship with my mother in a negative way.....alot of times it was dysfunctional...she told me about her relationship with her mom...and it was very very sad....which made me feel so grateful i had what i had with my mom....and i feel like i am in a better place with my mother...
I hope u dont mind but i have the need to share this story with u.....i hope u dont mind me sharing it on your thread... the last time i went out with my mother it was in july of this year and she wanted to go with me to my al anon meeting...which really surprised me...so i picked her up and we went...they asked my mother if she wanted to be taken out so someone can explain the meeting to her...or if she wanted to just stay...my mom didnt want to go...and then D. was there at the meeting and said....the group conscious is that we take the new person out ...i asked mom if she wanted to go and she said she would...i told her she didnt have to if she didnt want to....but she agreed and went...after the meeting ....i was pisst...at D... and i told D at the park about it....she said she didnt know that was my mother.....and that she wouldnt of forced her to go...my mother complained about D. having a loud mouth and she shouldnt of pushed the issue of my mother going...anyway...
I said to myself...see mom...she spoke for you and totally changed my perspective of you...and alot of things that were done....and i let go of that resentment...Funny how things happen....I call those moments God moments...God wanted me there at the same time as D... i just thanked him for giving me the peace i needed ....thanks for letting me share on your thread.....
and yes thats another God sent...not thinking to much about your poa.....
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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 5, 2011 6:33:30 GMT -8
sun, thx for sharing your story, i believe also God puts people in our path for a reason, and seeing D was probably a God moment so you did not have to keep carrying a resentment. Im glad you got some relief for that situation.
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Sept 5, 2011 7:00:17 GMT -8
your welcome carolyn...i believe that God puts people in our lives too....for a reason...a season or a lifetime....yes the resentment is totally gone...and i even told mom...see...people are always what we think they are...i feel good today....and i woke up crying and i am crying off and on today...because i wished i would of felt like this when my mom was alive...i resented so much that my mother chose her bf over my children and my grandchildren...i know that was the disease now....i hope she understands...When D. was telling me...that it was only her and her mother growing up and her mother had a brain tumor...and after they removed it..she progressively got worse mentally...and she took care of her mom...and she kept pointed out to me that my mom had a bf...and hers didnt....everytime i said my mom couldnt be without a bf...and she wasnt there for my grandkids or my kids...she said....well she had a bf...my mom didnt....she said she knew her mom loved her unconditionally....i really never felt that....but as we talked and D. pointed things out to me...i feel so much resolve...i spent alot of money in therapy...and didnt get what i got yesterday from D....they do say that when the student is ready the teacher appears...
So why am still crying....i dont want to be hard on myself....i want to believe my mother now knows the truth...about everything...
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Post by Loving My Life on Sept 5, 2011 7:16:51 GMT -8
sun, I do believe when our loved ones leave this earth, they are still with us in spirit, so you can still talk to your mom, just comfort yourself knowing that she is a peace. And you need to cry when you need too, it is ok to cry, it is part of the grieving process. death is not easy. im sorry for your pain. comfort your inner child and enjoy your grandson today.
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Sept 5, 2011 20:59:36 GMT -8
thank u carolyn....i did enjoy my day with my grandson..its really exciting to hear what this cute,,bright little 3 1/2 will say to u...he is growing up....for sure....i was crying earlier....and my sister said...why are u crying...mom is with God and not her bf....boy did that give me peace....i thought that was awesome....
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Post by alishass2040 on Nov 17, 2012 2:37:22 GMT -8
So sorry to hear of your situation
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