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Post by happyberry on Sept 10, 2011 9:46:58 GMT -8
we build self-esteem by treating ourselves and others with esteem and by doing things which help others and ourselves
when I returned to graduate school and started working with my favorite charity my self esteem skyrocked. I am now training for the NYC Marathon to raise $5,000 for them. It's hard but I feel great.
When I was in the thick of my addiction and drama I didn't even THINK about these things.
What are you doing to build your self esteem? How can you start?
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Post by Bo on Sept 10, 2011 13:16:45 GMT -8
Great question, since self-esteem is a big huge missing chunk of the recovery puzzle. My Top 2 Esteemable acts this week are: 1. I am practicing self care, with the commitment that, My recovery comes first, my recovery is my #1 daily priority. I read recovery material daily, attend meetings at least 3 times per week, I take responsibility (sponsoring others) and doing service work at meetings, and make outreach phone calls to other recovering women.
2. Every once in a while I will "treat" myself to something special. It doesn't have to be anything expensive, this week I decided to buy the $3 euro sausage instead of my regular $1 euro sausage at the grocery store. When I made the pizza, the 3 euro sausage was awesome! It will not be a regular purchase, but every now and then, I "do" deserve the 3 euro sausage on my pizza! I'm worth it!
Next week I plan to write 3 true and positive statements for each one negative limiting belief I still seem to have about myself. ie: "I'm just not good enough." 1. I am good enough for me. 2. I am good enough to be a sponsor. 3. I am good enough to support myself. etc, etc, etc.
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Post by Herenow on Sept 10, 2011 13:54:03 GMT -8
I have made a commitment to my meditation practice and I keep my commitment, not only does it build self-esteem it really helps the other parts of my brain that have been whacked by this disease! Also I set a boundary with my cat who uses the carpet instead of the litter box from time to time. She now spends time on the porch while I am away to control her errant peeing. It has taken me a while to get that taking care of my house is equivalent to self-esteem and includes boundaries with my cat! Great question!
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Post by faubourg on Sept 11, 2011 4:20:54 GMT -8
I am good enough, l like that! thank you Bo
diane 17 i so agree! meditation is like hydratation of my soul, i feel so peaceful after during, before is a little more difficult, i have to force myself but i need meditation so much,
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Post by LovelyJune on Sept 11, 2011 5:08:47 GMT -8
The ego side of lifting self-esteem: Every day I work very hard (still) to squash the negative thinking that pops into my head. When I hear: "LJ, you're not good enough," I quickly say, "OH YES YOU ARE." WHen I hear, "LJ, you're not pretty enough," I quickly say "OH YES YOU ARE."
The universal side of lifting self-esteem: Every day I make a point of doing good for someone. Helping someone, giving something of myself, complimenting someone, donating to charity, volunteering...I so agree with HB that giving in this sort of way, lifts self-esteem.
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Post by bklynrn on Sept 12, 2011 5:44:53 GMT -8
@hb....great questions!! Building self esteem takes so much time and so much work. For me, It started by setting goals and getting them accomplished. When I attained a goal I began to tell myself and see for myself that ''hey, you are worth it and you can do it''....living on my own and getting out of the co-dependant relationship was a HUGE goal for me and accomplished that. I'm in a place that I found on my own, furnished on my own and has been decorated exactly how I want it. Feels great to be single and learning to be alone and taking care of ME has been a huge self esteem booster. Helping myself and loving myself is the best gift i gave myself. It allows me to have a better perspective on how I relate to others and has lifted my desire to ''help'' others. And I mean those who don't really want help...they are those who want to drag me into drama and chaos. When You begin doing for yourself and really focus on you there is no time for baby games. Self exploration and taking care of me ONLY has helped me simply grow up and when that happens you feel more empowered. For me, that is when you feel the desire to give back but only to those who really want and really need....I'm volunteering my time for two causes...one is on campus where I'm joining a club that focuses on women of domestic violence and the second is next weekend in NYC for the Komen's Breast Cancer walk....It feels good to want to and be able to give back to positive causes.
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