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Alcohol
Dec 10, 2011 15:35:22 GMT -8
Post by addicted on Dec 10, 2011 15:35:22 GMT -8
I am feeling really strong and confident that I can maintain NC. However, I know that when I drink alcohol my inhibitions go out the window and I become very daring and very likely to ping "him". Obviously avoiding alcohol is one solution. Leaving my cell phone home is another. With all the holiday parties coming up I am afraid. I was wondering if anyone out there can relate to this.
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Alcohol
Dec 10, 2011 15:45:50 GMT -8
Post by ramaplame on Dec 10, 2011 15:45:50 GMT -8
I feel for you, addicted! At this point in my recovery, I honestly can't drink. I try not to do anything that could make me lose control and try to contact my ex. That's just me.
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Alcohol
Dec 10, 2011 16:09:05 GMT -8
Post by Loving My Life on Dec 10, 2011 16:09:05 GMT -8
Yes alcohol or drugs have that effect, so if you can just not drink maybe you want act out. You can always find a 12 step meeting to go to if you feel you want to drink. I know when i was drinking i could have careless who i called or how many times. but the next day i was like what? so it is tricky. drinking gives you courage, and now being sober i still have courage but iam also dealing with reality, so i can make the best decision. it is nice not having to worry about the next day after a night of drinking. good luck to you.
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Alcohol
Dec 10, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -8
Post by addicted on Dec 10, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -8
I know you are both right. The thing is that I also have social anxiety and being at these holiday work parties without alcohol? I don't know if I can handle it. I don't want you to think that I get naive drunk. But even just one drink to take the edge off of the social anxiety is enough to disinhibit me. It's a difficult situation that really only happens in December-bad timing for me I guess.
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Alcohol
Dec 10, 2011 16:48:41 GMT -8
Post by Loving My Life on Dec 10, 2011 16:48:41 GMT -8
do you have too go to the office parties? you have to make the best decision, for your addiction. I dont have a good answer for this. because if it only takes one drink. maybe go to a movie or something.
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Post by mlchris on Dec 10, 2011 17:16:21 GMT -8
Funny you started this thread, because it was the subject of my day today. Only it is a little different for me. After cleaning and getting all my errands ran today, I felt the incredible urge to make a trip to the liquor store. I have not had a drink in a long time, and I have never had an issue with alcohol at all. I was just feeling an urge to relieve some stress, to take the edge off.
However, as I was walking out the door, something stopped me. I don't know if it was my conscience, my hp, or a little bit of both. But something told me that coming back here and drinking alone would not be a good idea.
I called my sponsor, who is a recovering alcoholic, and told him what had happened, and that I was feeling very vulnerable right now, to almost anything. He explained that I was probably having some more withdrawal, and that if I ended up drinking that I might end up trading one addiction for another. He assured me that I did the right thing by stopping, and that I was doing a great job. Today was a sign that I need to be aware of my current state, and that I do not yet trust myself fully.
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Post by Loving My Life on Feb 13, 2014 3:19:20 GMT -8
Paisley, I understand everything you are saying, as for myself I know I cant drink because I dont know when to stop and I will end up in jail once again.
But if you can drink and it only a few drinks here and there and you suffer no negative effects from yoir drinking then I dont see a problem.
But I have cut back from my meeting as well im sometimes feel like they are just waiting for me too relapse, but I was totally committed to giving up alcohol when I got to aa.
So you know yourself better than anyone and you can make the best decision for yourself and your recovery.
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Post by James C T on Feb 14, 2014 5:23:10 GMT -8
Because my father was an alcoholic, I abstained for a long time. As I got older and there were social situations where it would be quicker and simpler to accept a drink instead of telling my life story I made myself this agreement, which was that I would never drink if I ever felt like having a drink. Thus when I have a hard day or melancholy or whatever, I do not drink on those days. I am fortunate that I can do this, but the memories of my father remind me that I am playing with fire.
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Feb 17, 2014 9:52:13 GMT -8
I know at least one person who ID's as an alcoholic who says they drink socially now. In the past they were isolators when they drank, now they do not drink alone, but can with friends without reverting to wanting to get drunk. That shows me there are many different kinds of recovery. It's a good discovery to make to find that this journey is a very personal one and you can find out what is right for you. Having said that, there are many things that are recommended in recovery for very good reasons. I guess we have to find that out for ourselves too.
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Alcohol
Jan 27, 2015 1:02:29 GMT -8
Post by rwatson on Jan 27, 2015 1:02:29 GMT -8
i know what you feel. i suggest to avoid drinking totally and find other things to do that will make you busy.
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Post by safiya on Aug 8, 2015 1:32:18 GMT -8
I identify with this completely. I too lose control and contact/text when drunk. Completely unacceptable behaviour, both for others and also for myself - helping no one, causing stress/hurt all round. This was the key factor in me stopping drinking alcohol completely. Also the fact that I too was - still am - an isolator, drinking alone, and spiralling into real dark depths; acting out, mood swings - all that stuff.
I'm having a few problems with AA though at the moment. Feeling a bit bullied into speaking at meetings by a few members (hard for an isolator, and I too suffer from a degree of social anxiety) and also I am finding that although AA is great for stopping me picking up a drink, and I pick up some great coping strategies there, I am uneasy sometimes with this 'beating yourself up' thing I see in AA sometimes, for someone who is also codependant/Love addicted and who has low self esteem, this isn't always sitting right with me.
This morning I actually thought to myself .. maybe a trip to al-anon might help me, from a co-dependency perspective. I feel as if I don't fit in anywhere at the moment.
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Post by leahb on Aug 8, 2015 1:48:33 GMT -8
Al-anon is not a bad idea. CODA 12 Step is also good. Have you checked out Lisa A Romano on YouTube. Some of what she says about codependency & being an adult child of an alcoholic really resonated with me. You may want to search for her videos on YouTube.
Take care,
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Post by safiya on Aug 8, 2015 2:39:29 GMT -8
Brilliant thanks leah, much appreciated, will do that : )
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Alcohol
Sept 15, 2015 22:37:56 GMT -8
Post by keithfcoleman on Sept 15, 2015 22:37:56 GMT -8
You can also deviate your thoughts by yoga and meditation. Drink a lot of water and do exercises. this will also help you. I too had struggled for 3 years with my alcohol addiction. Later I had joined in Canada alcohol and drug rehab programs, an addiction treatment center in Calgary (http://www.canadadrugrehab.ca/) for a fast recovery. Their medications and treatment techniques had really helped me to get rid of this addiction. Now, I’m leading a happy sober life.
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Alcohol
Jan 15, 2016 14:42:45 GMT -8
via mobile
Post by leahb on Jan 15, 2016 14:42:45 GMT -8
I am saddened by the pain of addiction in the world. I have a bit of a biased view on alcohol,but I believe the health care system has an upcoming tsunami on its hands with drinking. I hypothesize that alcohol will go the way cigarettes has in terms of what we know about the dangers of it all...
Scary but thoughtful piece on drinking.
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Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Alcohol
Jan 15, 2016 20:17:37 GMT -8
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2016 20:17:37 GMT -8
Alcoholism is rife in my family as is overeating and love addiction (I only figured the latter addiction out today with various members) luckily for me I have such a low tolerance that a few drinks and it makes me very ill so I don't drink.
I will look at the link later as my eldest woke me up when she came home from her night out to tell me she had informed the gf of a guy who has been cheating on her with daughters friend - creating drama whilst drunk. She is on a high thinking she has done right but I believe she is addicted to drama (like her mother) and it was none of her business and will get hurt in the backlash.
I worry about my girls with alcoholism because of my biased views I see it as toxic and didn't take long to turn my mum from a social drinker to a dependant and as a daughter who lost her mum to the disease I would rather they didn't drink. They don't know my views as I believe it would encourage them to drink being so young as a way of rebelling but they probably are unconsciously aware.
I find when I have had a drink I get an alter ego who thinks she's Beyoncé and is fun fun fun until I start vomiting lol but the next day when I can physically get out of bed in the evening I cry real bad with depression. I have been out with friends in the past and been home two hours later very ill whilst everyone else carried on till the early hours and I don't do it anymore. I don't worry about fitting in with everyone I am content to just be myself and alcohol and I don't mix.
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Alcohol
May 22, 2017 9:25:31 GMT -8
Post by Susan Peabody on May 22, 2017 9:25:31 GMT -8
Brighter Tomorrow I am A recovering alcoholic with 34 years in recovery. I am also addicted to food and had to lose 100 lbs. For years I just switched from one addiction to another because I did not deal with the underlying issues of depression, anxiety and PTSD--not to mention the PTSD and the guilt I carried for neglecting my children. Here is an article I wrote for Recovery Magazine. Switch Hitting
Addiction is a painful disorder. In the beginning, it is a way to control and manage pleasure and pain. You either get high and feel great for awhile, or you distract yourself from emotional pain like depression. In my opinion depression is the number one reason people start using substances or activities that become addictions. Unfortunately, these mood-altering experiences feed on themselves and a process of dependency takes hold. It leads eventually to an obsession which becomes out of control. When people attempt to break the cycle of addiction, they must admit they have a problem and then seek help. They must also face withdrawal. Usually physical withdrawal only lasts a few days with substances like drugs and alcohol, and months if you are addicted to things like love, sex, gambling and spending. Also, even when the physical withdrawal is over there is post-acute withdrawal which deals with the return of painful emotions like depression. It is at this time that addicts are most vulnerable and need help. This is when people should turn to therapy or better yet the twelve steps. I am a recovering addict and I did both. First I worked the steps to understand my need to change, and then therapy to deal with the depression. It is at this time that addicts are most likely to relapse, or more commonly turn to another addiction. I call this switch-hitting. This can take on a number of forms. Addicts will turn from their drug of choice to gambling, video games, excessive spending, sex and most of all love. I have seen grown men give up alcohol only to obsess about a women. One of my clients started obsessing about a woman and in the process lost his sobriety, his job, his apartment, his self-esteem and his will to live. He called me in the middle of the night saying he wanted to die and I had to intervene. He made it, and we are both grateful. He went into recovery for love addiction and is now happily married to a wonderful woman. I am grateful that he reached out for help. All addicts need help. In conclusion, I want to say that addiction is powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious. I know because I have been in recovery from addictions to drugs, alcohol, love, and spending. I can say that today I am in recovery for all of these death traps. I am also in treatment for my depression which is what lay beneath all my obsessions. If you are in recovery then take heed. Be vigilant. Reach out for help. Take advice from your mentors. Most of all change. This is the best solution. Change is the bridge between the problem and the solution. For ideas about this I suggest my own book, The Art of Changing. Finally, I wish you well on your recovery journey and I hope to meet you on the “road of happy destiny.
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