Pain From A Married POA

get thee to a meeting.

havefaith,

While your words sting a little, you are completely right. There are plenty of innocent people that would be hurt. Someone told me on another post that he tried to end it with the least amount of hurt...and that was me. I was sacrificed. I understand. I have no intention of breaking NC. I just have a lot of grief right now...over the loss of him in my life. He's gone....and I'm left with the hole in my chest. At least it's there now...

I am beginning the steps, so I will try to focus on that.

Havefaith, I hear you, I am 54 and finally "sober" and in recovery. Leighanne885 now is the time to work on yourself, be gentle with your pain, take hot baths, long walks, run, work out, talk to good friends who can hear your pain but not judge you. Journal journal journal and get to meetings, LA or al-anon or anything that deals with co-dependency. We have a disease that progresses if left untreated. And though we do cause other people pain with our addiction we are the biggest victims of our disease. Good luck and have a plan in place, know who you can call and how you will deal with the pain of withdraw and NC.

Maybe it is best that you don't return there, at least not yet. It does not sound to me like you are ready to go there.

I contacted a psychiatrist for my depression due to my workplace bullying, ostracisation

He touched me inappropriately. I stopped attending his sessions. He added me on linkedin. I felt weak and attended session with him again
he touched me again. and asked me to add him on other social networking messaging app.

i fell weak and added him. initially we chatted well but then chat proceeded to sexual scenario. i got angry and after 4 months stopped chatting.
i quit contact for 4 years 

But he would put sad status messages on the App. I got tempted as my own marriage was crumbling. We have a sexless marriage and my hubby
acts very weird and naive. We dont get along and are on two different page.

So i got tempted to text this POA again. Again he would chat about asking me to send him some revealing pics i did send him some pics. everything went
well.

but whenver i used to ask him for date, going out etc he used to make excuse and weekends he wont reply to messages has he is going outstation with wifey
and extended family.

i still continued talking to him. since anyways i was quite bored with scenario at homefront. Being married for 16 years and had a arranged marriage to a guy
who is just opposite to all that i am. He is atheist I am spiritual, he is smoker, drinker I am teetotaller, he is spendthrift and I am money saver. constantly we are
bickering at home.

And yesterday on his birthday he took me to a pathetic restaurant for dinner i told him not to take me there he wont listen i ended up having severe diarrohea after 
eating that tasteless food. We are together just for sake of our 12 year child. 

So now my POA isnt communicating nor texting just because i told him angrily something rudely. I did apologise. I know i am wrong, i shouldnt play with fire.

I should just continue with my marriage as i am financially dependent on my spouse. And moresoever my POA isnt going to leave his spouse she is a highly qualified well earning sucessful career women. He needs that kind of money for feeding his two kids.

So just continuing with my life. Asking for strength from God. Trying hard to heal from childhood abuse, abandonment, rejection, learning to love myself.

you are just beeing used by this man....

Its not true that everybody use us.we alow it.as adults im not talking about as kids.
Then find a better terapist and continue healing.

i have found all people who are using me even the two friends i have call me when they have work or chores
to be done.

i am not interested in theraphy its money minting business here.