Hi I am in touch with alot of rage and anger

hadassah
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Hi I am in touch with alot of rage and anger Dec 15, 2012 17:58:28 GMT -8

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Post by hadassah on Dec 15, 2012 17:58:28 GMT -8

Hi I just joined this site last week. I have been in slaa for a year and also intense treatment for a really long time. I have alot of rage and anger towards this man who I liked and it did not work out. It is really hard to let go because it was the closest thing in a long time to trust someone and we did not have a good ending.
I was really good with no -contact but some trauma stuff came up and I found myself on his facebook page. I have such rage and anger towards him because he just cut and ran. I am a torrchbarryer and when get back my mind will go to this . I know this is not real but that it the depths of my wounding and addictions. I know I have to tell myself this is not about me. But it hurts because it appears he had no intentions of ever contacting me again.

He never said this he just ran. The man is also gay and I am straight . This was not made known to me when I knew him. I have felt like a s but I stalker have not crossed the line. I have told him I am in recovery . But I am angry because I am doing all the right things but I am really hurt and have tons of anger and rage because he did abandoned and reject and betray me. It is very hard to let go. So I figured I would be honest how I am feeling. I know I am responsible for me and not him. I know I have to block the facebook page. I know all this rage is not all aabout him but I am still very hurt and anger. If he was heather we could have had better closure. It is very hard to let go Hadasah

Loving My Life
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I am a beautiful child of God . . ."My Inner Child."

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Hi I am in touch with alot of rage and anger Dec 15, 2012 18:15:38 GMT -8

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Post by Loving My Life on Dec 15, 2012 18:15:38 GMT -8

Hadassah,

Are you just needing to vent? or are you wanting to recover?

What is your recovery plan?

It does no one any good to be rageful and angry, so first you need to try and calm down a little, and think about what you have control over.

Yes it hurts when we realize we have been lied to, and betrayed but we have to realize when we are in recovery, it is about us and no one else. We have no control over people, places, and things, only our actions.

So if you can write out what you are feeling, and set some small goals for yourself for the rest of today, and calm down some, you will feel alot better. When we are in a rage, all we want to do is hurt the other person, when all we are really doing is just hurting ourselves.

Keep posting on this forum and you will find alot of support and knowledge, and also if you can find a local 12 step meeting to go to in your area, this will help as well.

Live and Let Live.

One day at a time :-) :-). . .We can do together, what we could never do alone. :-) And a problem shared, is a problem cut in half. :-) :-)

LovelyJune
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You teach people how to treat you.

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Hi I am in touch with alot of rage and anger Dec 22, 2012 3:53:53 GMT -8

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Post by LovelyJune on Dec 22, 2012 3:53:53 GMT -8

Anger is normal. WHat a rotten thing to have to go through. And yet, the only way to get rid of the anger is to let it go. The only way to let go of the anger is to change your way of thinking about him and your situation.

Here's a blog that may help you thelovelyaddict.com/2011/10/09/rejection-psst-its-a-good-thing/

Last Edit: Dec 22, 2012 3:54:11 GMT -8 by LovelyJune

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Loveanimals
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Hi I am in touch with alot of rage and anger Dec 22, 2012 8:27:02 GMT -8

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Post by Loveanimals on Dec 22, 2012 8:27:02 GMT -8

Hi hadassah,

I can certainly relate to this because I have dated several men who turned out gay/bisexual and did not reveal this to me at first. This has occurred to me on 3 occasions.

I tend to be attracted to unavailable men, and gay men are the biggest challenge I think subconsciously because I want to "turn" them straight. It ends up being a huge cycle of drama and fights because they don't want to give up other men. Thus why I went into recovery.

You definitely need to bless and release him from your life. If he's gay he might be confused and I have found that many of them want to be straight because of society/family pressures but they cannot have a relationship with a woman. You certainly don't want to get in the cycle of continuing this behavior.

I wish I went into recovery after the first instead of going through this 3 times.

I am so thankful to have read your post because I feel like the only one who has had feelings for a gay man and it's turned into a joke with family and friends of mine. Yet it is no joke when you're in the middle of it, fear HIV and cry that a man would rather be with another man than you.

Last Edit: Dec 22, 2012 8:28:37 GMT -8 by Loveanimals

looking4direction
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Hi I am in touch with alot of rage and anger Dec 22, 2012 16:17:33 GMT -8

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Post by looking4direction on Dec 22, 2012 16:17:33 GMT -8

I relate to being attracted to a homos***al man, as well. We can't turn them back. I learned that it's biological. I used to fantasize about it and it never happened. I don't know what happened to him. His husband abused him, too, and I had the "rescue fantasy". It's not real.

Sometimes I still think about him, but thanks to laarecovery and another 12 step program and a vigilant sponsor, I don't try to make my hopeless dreams about this man (a POA from school, not my main one) reality. lol I am laughing sadly; it's really not funny at all.

I have had crushes on straight people, too and it's just as bad.

I have to love myself first before I can turn my love outward. And even my self-love has to come from something greater than me; a HP (not another human!)

Just my own thoughts.

Peace.

Carol

junli New Member Posts: 2	Hi I am in touch with alot of rage and anger Jan 5, 2013 23:24:49 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by junli on Jan 5, 2013 23:24:49 GMT -8 I am a love addict

Loving My Life
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I am a beautiful child of God . . ."My Inner Child."

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Hi I am in touch with alot of rage and anger Jan 6, 2013 9:19:31 GMT -8

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Post by Loving My Life on Jan 6, 2013 9:19:31 GMT -8

Welcome Junli,

Can you go to the "newcomers thread", under the "home tab" and tell us your story?. how you got here, and what your short terms recovery goals are?

This way members will know you are new here, and can make suggestions for you.

Again Welcome....keep coming back..we are all glad you are here.

One day at a time :-) :-). . .We can do together, what we could never do alone. :-) And a problem shared, is a problem cut in half. :-) :-)

Hi I am in touch with alot of rage and anger

Post by hadassah on Dec 15, 2012 17:58:28 GMT -8

Post by Loving My Life on Dec 15, 2012 18:15:38 GMT -8

Post by LovelyJune on Dec 22, 2012 3:53:53 GMT -8

Post by Loveanimals on Dec 22, 2012 8:27:02 GMT -8

Post by looking4direction on Dec 22, 2012 16:17:33 GMT -8

Post by junli on Jan 5, 2013 23:24:49 GMT -8

Post by Loving My Life on Jan 6, 2013 9:19:31 GMT -8