Post by mlchris on Jan 11, 2013 4:29:34 GMT -8
I didn't know where to post this and it really doesn't even pertain much to the subject of LA but I feel so alone with what is going on right now and I need to get it off my chest somehow.
My boyfriend of the past 6 months is currently very ill and in ICU. He has been battling this illness pretty much since we first met and it has progressively gotten worse. He was finally diagnosed with lupus last month and just beginning treatment and was struck right before Christmas with pneumonia. He struggled with it until being admitted into the hospital and after trying several methods the drs were finally starting to get it under control when there was an implication with the drugs being used. Being a bit of an avoidant he had asked me all along not to visit him until he was feeling better and ready for visitors, but he had been texting me every day and keeping me updated on his condition. The last time I heard from him was 4 days ago when he told me he was ok but had been ordered to "sleep." Not being sure exactly what this meant I tried to find out but couldnt get much out of him and decided to let it rest. The next day I sent him a good morning text as we had always done every day and was greeted with a text back from his phone saying it was his mother and he was very sick and unable to talk to me and requested their privacy. Being that I had never met his mother I replied back explaining who I was and my concern for him but never got a response.
I waited 2 more days before sending one more text begging for someone to let me know his condition, only to get a more hateful response accusing me of not being his girlfriend and telling me to leave them (his family) alone or they would take steps to ensure their privacy. Im not really sure why she or they have chosen to be this way towards me but I have to respect their wishes and let them be. I know if he were able to he would be continuing to contact me to keep me informed.
I have been everything from angry to hurt to scared and anxious. Yesterday I nearly broke down and fell to my knees begging God to please save him and not take him. I had a talk with God about my relationship with "Eric" and without going into detail I told him that I realized that it wasn't the ideal relationship that God wanted us to have. I made Him a promise that if he would spare his life that I would change that and start to live the life and have the relationship that he wanted us to have. I felt I was at the end of my rope and I felt closer to Him then than I ever have before.
Last night I had a small glimmer of hope when I heard from a friend that has ties to the hospital he is at and although she could not offer me alot she did tell me that "Eric" was doing a little bit better and was stable. I can't begin to explain how much that meant to me and gave me hope that he will pull through this and be ok. It also showed me that God was listening to me and that I should continue putting my faith in Him for everything.
I know that things must change now. I still won't feel 100% better until I hear from "Eric" again, but I know that some things are going to have to change to get to that day. Until then I continue to pray and keep God close to me in hopes that He will provide and keep "Eric" in my life. Right now I feel that is all I can do.
My boyfriend of the past 6 months is currently very ill and in ICU. He has been battling this illness pretty much since we first met and it has progressively gotten worse. He was finally diagnosed with lupus last month and just beginning treatment and was struck right before Christmas with pneumonia. He struggled with it until being admitted into the hospital and after trying several methods the drs were finally starting to get it under control when there was an implication with the drugs being used. Being a bit of an avoidant he had asked me all along not to visit him until he was feeling better and ready for visitors, but he had been texting me every day and keeping me updated on his condition. The last time I heard from him was 4 days ago when he told me he was ok but had been ordered to "sleep." Not being sure exactly what this meant I tried to find out but couldnt get much out of him and decided to let it rest. The next day I sent him a good morning text as we had always done every day and was greeted with a text back from his phone saying it was his mother and he was very sick and unable to talk to me and requested their privacy. Being that I had never met his mother I replied back explaining who I was and my concern for him but never got a response.
I waited 2 more days before sending one more text begging for someone to let me know his condition, only to get a more hateful response accusing me of not being his girlfriend and telling me to leave them (his family) alone or they would take steps to ensure their privacy. Im not really sure why she or they have chosen to be this way towards me but I have to respect their wishes and let them be. I know if he were able to he would be continuing to contact me to keep me informed.
I have been everything from angry to hurt to scared and anxious. Yesterday I nearly broke down and fell to my knees begging God to please save him and not take him. I had a talk with God about my relationship with "Eric" and without going into detail I told him that I realized that it wasn't the ideal relationship that God wanted us to have. I made Him a promise that if he would spare his life that I would change that and start to live the life and have the relationship that he wanted us to have. I felt I was at the end of my rope and I felt closer to Him then than I ever have before.
Last night I had a small glimmer of hope when I heard from a friend that has ties to the hospital he is at and although she could not offer me alot she did tell me that "Eric" was doing a little bit better and was stable. I can't begin to explain how much that meant to me and gave me hope that he will pull through this and be ok. It also showed me that God was listening to me and that I should continue putting my faith in Him for everything.
I know that things must change now. I still won't feel 100% better until I hear from "Eric" again, but I know that some things are going to have to change to get to that day. Until then I continue to pray and keep God close to me in hopes that He will provide and keep "Eric" in my life. Right now I feel that is all I can do.
sending all the love.
