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Post by mlchris on Feb 12, 2013 1:13:50 GMT -8
Ugh....why am I always attracted to the ones that have issues and vice versa? I just spent the last month in a "relationship" with someone that ended up being a bipolar manic-depressive alcoholic. And apparently a liar as well. How do I always end up getting mixed up with these individuals?
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Post by LovelyJune on Feb 12, 2013 3:39:14 GMT -8
Water seeks its own level. Like attracts like. This may sound HORRIBLE, as if I am calling you "sick," but when we are willing to accept sick, harmful, abusive, avoidant people into our lives, what does that make us? When we are so ready to put blinders on and turn our lives and our safety over to someone we do not know well enough, it's because the "fantasy" for a perfect love far outweighs the importance of what is real. And what is real might be too ugly or scary for us. So…we close our eyes, we throw caution to the wind and we dive in, never realizing that the pool is too shallow for diving!!!! I TOO always got "mixed up" with these kinds of individuals. Until I started to believe I deserved better. And only then, did I stop taking whatever came down the road. Only then did I start to look out for red flags or say, "someone else might be able to handle that, but not me…" Start to love yourself. Start to be honest with yourself. Start to open your eyes to reality, so that you can protect yourself, not harm yourself. And Keep POsting and Reading!!! You will get healthier. Trust me!
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Post by Havefaith on Feb 12, 2013 12:35:36 GMT -8
this is a great site that addresses safe vs. unsafe relationships (people), something which many LA's (including myself) struggle with -- saferelationships.com The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction
Here's their latest article -- I think many of us can glean some good instruction/lessons from this:
REAL LOVE NOT JUST REAL ATTRACTION
by Sandra L. Brown, M.A. So many people confuse the feeling of 'attraction' with the emotion of love. For some who are in chronic dangerous and pathological relationships, it's obvious that you have gotten these two elements 'mixed up.' Not being able to untangle these understandings can keep people on the same path of unsafe relationship selection because they keep choosing the same way and getting the same people!
Attraction is largely not only unconscious but also physical. There is actually something called an 'erotic imprint' which is the unconscious part that guides our attraction. (I talked about this in the Dangerous Man book). Our erotic imprint is literally 'imprinted' in our psyches when we are young--at that age when you begin to notice and be attracted to the opposite sex. As I mentioned, this is largely an unconscious drive. For instance, I like stocky dark-haired men. When ever I see that type of image, I immediately find that man 'attractive.' I can 'vary' slightly on my attraction but I'm not going to find Brad Pitt attractive. I might forego the full 'stocky' appearance but I'm not going to let go of some of the other traits that make men appealing to me. We like what we like. For instance, I am attracted to Johnny Depp or George Clooney. I don't like any of the blondes or overly tall and lanky body types.
If you think back to what your 'attraction' basis is, you may find some patterns there as well. Attraction, however, can also be behavioral or based on emotional characteristics. For instance, some women are attracted to guys with a great sense of humor. The attraction is based on that characteristic. Other women may be attracted to athletic guys--not because of what sports do to their bodies, but because of the behavioral qualities of athletes. Attraction can be subtle--like the unconscious erotic imprinting that makes us select men based on physical attributes OR attraction may lead us to choose relationships based on behaviors or emotional characteristics like displays of empathy, helpfulness or friendliness. (I discussed your own high traits of empathy, helpfulness and friendliness in Women Who Love Psychopaths.)
Although these traits might guide our relationships selection, this is not the foundation of love. It's the foundation of selection.
Often, our relationship selection comes more from attraction than it does anything else. So knowing 'who' and 'what types' you are attracted to will help you understand your patterns of selection. Some people choose characteristics--helpfulness, humor, gentleness or another quality that they seem to be drawn to. Other people are more physical in their attraction and find the physicality of someone either a 'go' or a 'no.' Maybe you like blondes or blue eyes. This may also drive your pattern of selection.
Also in the area of attraction--sometimes it's Traumatic Attraction that seems to drive our patterns of selection. People, who have been abused, especially as children, can have unusual and destructive patterns of selection. While this may seem the opposite of what you would expect, these patterns are largely driven by unresolved trauma. People who were raised in alcoholic, dysfunctional, or abusive homes are likely to repeat those exact patterns in their selection of a partner. They often select individuals who have similar 'characteristics' to the abusive/neglectful/addicted adult they grew up with or were exposed to. The characteristics could be physical (how they look) or behavioral (how they act) or emotional (how they abuse/neglect). In any event, the unresolved abuse issues drive them to keep selecting abusers for relationships. Today, they are mystified as to why they keep picking abusive/neglectful/addicted people for relationship partners. That which remains unresolved, revolves--around and around thru our lives until it is resolved.
So, when you have no idea that attraction (good, bad, or dysfunctional) is guiding your selections, you just keep picking the same way and getting the same thing. But because the world keeps using the word 'love' you use it, too. And you label your attraction-based-choices (that are largely dysfunctional) as 'love' and then become confused about the nature of this thing called 'love.' Your attraction is NOT love. It is merely attraction. What DOES or DOES NOT happen IN the relationship may be more reflective of 'love' than anything else.
Remember the Bible verse, "Love is patient, love is kind, love does not seek it's own..."? it helps to reflect how love is 'other centered' not in a codependent and frantic needy way but in a way that helps others be interdependent in relationships. Love is often attributed to positive 'attributes' such as:
Joy - love smiling
Peace - love resting
Patience - love waiting
Kindness - love showing itself sensitive to others' feelings
Goodness - love making allowances
Faithfulness - love proving constant
Gentleness - love yielding
Self-control - love triumphing over selfish inclinations
--Source Unknown
(Now, think about if ANY of those traits described the Pathological Love Relationship? I didn't think so....)
"As long as we believe that someone else has the power to make us happy then we are setting ourselves up to be victims" (From: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls).
This Valentine's Day be very clear with yourself about love and attraction. This is a time when you might be likely to want to recontact him. Let me remind you, NOTHING has changed. His pathology is still the same. And on February 15th you could hate yourself for recontacting him for one weak illusionary moment on Feb 14th--in which the world is focused on love but he is focused on manipulation, control or anything OTHER than love. If you open that door, then you will have weeks or months of trying to get him out and disconnect again.
Instead, plan ahead for your potential relapse by setting up an accountability partner AND something to do! Go to a movie with a friend; go out to dinner, so SOMETHING that takes responsibility and action for your own loneliness at this time of year. Whatever you do, don't have a knee jerk reaction and contact him. One day on the calendar about love is just an ILLUSION!
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Post by LovelyJune on Feb 13, 2013 2:11:43 GMT -8
This is awesome, havefaith. Thanks for sharing.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 13, 2013 14:25:54 GMT -8
Great topic. Sympathy was my trigger. At 14 I talked to a boy who said he was sad about [I forget what}. I fell in love and carried a torch for 20 years.
I met a guy once who was blind in one eye. Instant attraction. I slipped right into codependent behavior, trying to fix someone even though I had to neglect myself and my children to do it. I paid for his surgery.
The love of my life was a paraplegic, but the nursing home took care of herr and she was the first one to love me back. So I was making progress.
I have used my attraction to sick people, which I was born to according to the person who did my personality test, to go into a helping profession. Therapy also helped me understand that I wanted to save my father from his depression and this began a lifetime of . . .
Today, I love sick people, but I do not marry them.
We talk in AA about taking our shortcomings and turning them into assets. Except for my son, I think I have done that. Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the prisoners, love your neighbor, but find BALANCE. Put yourself on the list of ones you love and I mean at the top of the list. You cannot give away what you don't have.
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honey
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Post by honey on Feb 13, 2013 14:39:54 GMT -8
Dear havefaith I love it. Great example of the Bible . Reminds me of the movie '' a walk to remember '' I think Being in charge for true love is very important. Love is just about taking responsibilities to behave as an adult . When someone does not take the responsibility, Goes for a foolish love rather than a conscious love which is a window to freedom. It takes hard work like any other valuable thing in this world. I can remember in book '' seven habits of highly effective people'' by Stephan Cavy, he says: some people after passing several years of knowing each other say that we do not have that FEELING towards each other anymore. They do not want to DECIDE to love due to its hard work and ACTION. IF you want to love someone, LISTEN TO HIM.(a healthy partner). love is about DECISION , ACTION rather that feelings. feelings comes after action..As the first duty of love is to LISTEN, why do not we listen to ourselves? We can never expect sth from an external source when we do not have it. Find LOVE within you. make peace with you ..a partner is just a mirror which reflects the amount of love within you. If you do not see love and respect and adulthood in your attached partners , sorry to say this, but the COMMON DENOMINATOR IS YOU . The way to recovery worth it . In hardships we grow and flourish .. Stick to it
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Post by Havefaith on Feb 13, 2013 15:55:12 GMT -8
As for me, I have been married to an emotionally healthy, respectful and loving spouse for a good number of years. He has always been gainfully employed, and has provided well for us, his family (we have two children) He has a strong moral compass, and stands by my side, no matter what. He is a wonderful husband, father, son, brother and friend to all who know him. Everybody who knows him tells me what a catch he is.
And what did I do? I almost left my spouse for a love-avoidant, porn-addicted sex addict who can barely make ends meet and admits openly that he has almost no capacity for intimacy. Why? Because I thought I loved him. Why? The reasons are many (I've been in intense therapy for two years getting to the root cause of why I would even find such a man attractive) and if I had to sum it up, it was because I was letting my wounded adolescent run the show. I was using this man in a desperate (subconscious) attempt to fix a past that can't be fixed. He had his issues, but I certainly had mine. In many ways, I was no less 'sick' than he was. We made quite the toxic team.
For me, therapy (I see both a LCSW and a psychiatrist) saved my life and saved me from making a dreadful, dead-end decision. I am still attracted to him (go figure) but drug addicts are also 'attracted' to cocaine or heroin. Men like him are my 'drug' and it behooves me to stay away from them.
Ongoing therapy and daily vigilance are key to staying sober and in recovery...
HaveFaith
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Post by LovelyJune on Feb 14, 2013 3:46:08 GMT -8
I love when you use the term "wounded adolescent" because so often that's who tends to make decisions from within. When the emotional side of us takes the reigns (the child within) she doesn't exactly make appropriate decisions. I always bring in food, but, imagine putting a pink, sprinkled donut in front of a child and a head of broccoli, and then telling her to "choose what's best" for her. Which one do you think she'll choose? Do the same for a conscientious adult and guess which one they will choose.
It's the same with love addicts or any addict. Too often, their inner wounded child makes the decisions.
What does this have to do with being attracted to sick people? Well, who's attracted to the sick person within you? It sounds like the adult in you knows the difference between good person versus bad, but the child within you doesn't. Take time to get to know how you may have been hurt as a child. Be that child's parent, love that child. And then LEARN, as an adult would, what might be an appropriate partner and how to look for red flags and not dive in too quickly.
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Post by Havefaith on Feb 14, 2013 5:03:45 GMT -8
There are two of me -- the dysfunction comes from a childhood/adolescent upbringing rife with emotional abuse and covert incest.
The healthy me has managed somehow to function in an adult world -- marriage to an appropriate partner, raising two children, and holding down a great job. The adolescent in me has led an underground, secret life with men who are as sick as she is. The dichotomy is frightening. I don't want to live a double life anymore -- I don't want to live life looking through the lenses of both healthy adult and wounded adolescent. I can no longer be two people waging war inside of me.
I am in intense psychotherapy -- I am learning how to be the parent to the adolescent inside of me, help her grow up and usher her into healthy adulthood. Like most adolescents, she pushes back and digs in her heels, but the healthy side of me is giving her the tools (and the unconditional love) she needs for healing.
HaveFaith
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Post by Loving My Life on Feb 14, 2013 7:17:44 GMT -8
Havefaith, thanks for sharing this, your story sound alot like me.
I made this safe and secure life for myself when I was in my 20's, and I also have a great man in my life have been with him for 25 years, so why was I willing to throw this all away for someone who could not even hold a job or stay out of jail? I am so grateful I did not walk out of my home. Because I still have my safe place to recover without all of the extra drama.
I understand exactly what your saying.
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Post by lotusflower on Feb 16, 2013 7:32:28 GMT -8
I am so glad i read your post havefaith. I am on the same boat. Married to a great guy, had a Poa for 1 year. Who is a drug, alcohol, videogame addict and barely makes a living. I almost walked out of my house, was at the edge of divorce.... Even Poa couldnt understand why i would leave my husband for him... Anyways, things got tangled up but now i understand a bit more why/how i was so attaracted to him instead of this wonderful person whom i share my life with. Reading your message made me feel like i am not alone, these things do happen. I hope pain will go away, we will keep making right, healthy choices and recover from all this hurt.
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Post by mlchris on Feb 16, 2013 14:11:50 GMT -8
So this guy has completely shut me out of his life now, with no explanation. Everything was great one minute then all of a sudden he will not even talk to me. And WHY ON EARTH should this even matter to me? I KNOW I do not need him in my life. But the whole idea of me losing him is eating at me. He was there when my boyfriend passed away and he provided me with comfort, and I was there for him during his episodes and comforted him as well.
I know I deserve better and I shouldnt be sad or feel hurt by the way he is treating me now, so why do I? Why do I still think about him all of the time? Why can't I just let him go and move on?
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Post by Havefaith on Feb 16, 2013 17:47:06 GMT -8
lotusflower, the pain does go away, I am convinced, because if nothing else, time does heal. Understanding the 'why' behind the unhealthy actions, however, is absolutely KEY for me to heal and, as you say, make "right, healthy choices and recover from all this hurt." And for me, this means ongoing therapy with excellent professionals who are able to guide me through some pretty complex waters...
HaveFaith
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Post by estrella on Feb 16, 2013 21:06:18 GMT -8
Interesting, this is what I read about LA. Non addictive brain experiences loss, grieves, accepts loss, recovers, moves on. Addicted brain gets in a circle and losses its ability to recover with time UNLESS we work diligently through NC, thought stopping and replacement to get out of this cycle. From Susan . . . Check this out . . .www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Peabody2.html[/quote]
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Post by LovelyJune on Feb 17, 2013 3:07:50 GMT -8
I know I deserve better and I shouldnt be sad or feel hurt by the way he is treating me now, so why do I? Why do I still think about him all of the time? Why can't I just let him go and move on? No, you don't know or believe you deserve better. If you did, your actions would be in perfect alignment with your beliefs. When you deeply believe you do not deserve this kind of treatment, you proudly move on and let go because what this person is offering you is scr@ps, and heck if you have to eat scr@ps.
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Post by Loveanimals on Feb 17, 2013 3:10:35 GMT -8
michris when you work on yourself through the 12 steps, therapy, self help books or all of the above your attraction to these type of people fades.
I used to ALWAYS attract those type of men, yet realized that when I got better, I realized I couldn't put up with other people who were injured yet unwilling to seek help. Another thing is that if you obsess about "why do I attract this type" and keep thinking about that type of person, they keep reappearing in your life. What you think of, you attract. So I stop myself when I start to think why did I attract those type and change the thought.
I also realized that I was letting other men walk all over me by thinking I had to be "nice" and now when those individuals text or contact me I cut contact, I just have little tolerance to deal with instability right now. I have plenty on my plate; I can't handle someone else's drama.
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Post by LovelyJune on Feb 17, 2013 3:24:15 GMT -8
Another thing is that if you obsess about "why do I attract this type" and keep thinking about that type of person, they keep reappearing in your life. GREAT points, loveanimals. ALso, I want to add, when you keep the focus on the ambiguity of attraction and don't take responsibility for allowing those types into your life, you give up control, you give up your power. We can be attracted to darn near anyone, including the Ted Bundys of the world. But at some point you need to recognize that "attraction" isn't always going to bear the fruit of a healthy relationship. So much more goes into it. That's when you reserve your emotions and your feelings and get to know someone first, out of protection for yourself. There's a difference between people of "old money" and the "nouveau riche" People with old money, who have the stability of money take great care in saving their money and putting it somewhere where it will grow and prosper. People with new money, tend to spend it and lose it quickly. They have little respect for the money they possess. WHen you have respect for yourself and what you possess (a heart!) you are not willing to just let it go to anyone who shows you a bit of attention.
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Post by Loveanimals on Feb 17, 2013 11:12:44 GMT -8
Hi LovelyJune,
That is so true. Many years ago I was super attracted to the "bad boy" type yet after one stole from me and another verbally abused me, then I realized that even though I felt "attracted" to them they were no good for me, so I took action and shut them out of my life.
My life is so much better without the bad boys or anyone dysfunctional for all that matter, I don't need the attention from them and I'm happier alone!
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Post by swilly on Feb 26, 2013 12:49:03 GMT -8
Havefaith, you just told my story! except mine is a very sucessful physician, and doesn't need money, i think he just needs sex. We aren't in a relationship other than how we text and tell each other how hot the other is. We talk about sex very openly, but not in a way the other is trying to get it. I too am married to a great guy, I would never want to leave him for the DR. I would probably lose both in the end. I just hate obsessing all day long every single day, and always wondering if he is in love with me too. I need constant reassurance even after he tells me things that make me think he is. I very rarely contact him. He will contact me after he hasn't heard from me in a few weeks, also,he is always trying to get me to come to his hot tub. I did last week, it was fun and we had a good talk. but what I didn't like is that he kept texting. Was he trying to make me jealous? He also wouldn't go near me in the hot tub, and when i left his hug was a little limp. (see how i analyze every little thing!) one day I think he likes me, but then I think of all the reasons he probably doesn't like me and then stick with all the negatives, by the end of the week i'm crying because he doesn't like me (in my head) and he hasn't even done anything! I was that way with my husband as well and several boyfriends before that. I just couldn't believe anyone would like me, (even when they did) and then i would sabatoge a perfectly good relationship. If I knew they really liked me, then I wouldn't really like them anymore. I'M SO MESSED UP! relationships aren't my thing. If anybody gets this, please help.
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tara
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Post by tara on Feb 26, 2013 14:42:41 GMT -8
Yes dear one, I have asked myself that same question. I came up with an answer. My dad was sexually abused as a child and had a drinking problem. He was very sensitive, kind and caring. He has huge amounts of anger stored up that came out at inopportune times. He was not that easy to communicate with. He teased me and used scare tactics as discipline. I felt so deeply for his a pain. I also felt responsible. He died at age 36 of cancer. My mother had a chemical imbalance all the years that I knew her and actted out from that psychological space. She was isolated depressed , abusive, forlorn, in a fantasy world and when dad died it got worse! She hated me and she loved me? YES, the men I have chosen have been SICK and in need of my need to fix the past through them. We met in that space and were like magnets. I now want to move beyond the need to fix the past through my love relationships. I will heal myself! Then have a healthy relationship with life. If a man is in that picture he will match me and not mirror the past I've moved beyond. TARA Thanks for your post. I see that many have responded. This sight is all about what you posted. blessings........
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Post by Havefaith on Feb 26, 2013 14:43:25 GMT -8
swill, I do get it. And I will tell you this -- I only started recovering and getting away from my self-destructive behaviors after I went into intense therapy (I see both a LCSW-therapist and a psychiatrist). I was truly stuck in behaviors that I had exhibited since adolescence and I had to get to the root cause of why I failed to grow (emotionally/mentally) into adulthood and, instead, got stuck as a wounded, drama filled and angst ridden adolescent.
I'm 54 -- both my therapist and psychiatrist say, when it came to love/sex, I displayed characteristics of a 'girl' in her mid-teens. Only when I got to the root cause of WHY this happened to me (covert incest), how it was driving my behaviors, and faced the pain of having been abused, was I able to begin 'growing up'.
But -- and this is crucial -- like any addict, I had to stop 'using' before I could truly recover. Like my psychiatrist reminds me every time I see him, 'Nothing changes if nothing changes.' Well, I finally had enough of living like a 15 year old wounded adolescent. And the first (and very painful) change I had to make was stop using, withdraw from my drug of choice (males/male attention) and embrace sobriety.
Sobriety - therapy - one-day-at-a-time vigilance - all are crucial pieces to recovery and a new, healthy life...
HaveFaith
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 10, 2014 13:27:59 GMT -8
In "Keeping the Love You Find" by Hendrix, he explains the phenomenon of the Imago. It is a composite of our lost self and our parents. We connect with our Imago through attraction. My Imago was my codependent mother and alcoholic father. So naturally I was attracted to alcoholic men and became a codependent like my mom. The more you learn about this concept the more you are likely to make better choices. Some of us just cannot use attraction as the determining factor in choosing a mate. The attraction will come later after other criteria is met. See our forum on healthy relationships.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 6:45:52 GMT -8
loveellen - I am no expert, but what you are saying sounds like "all or nothing" or "black and white" thinking. Sometimes it's a sign of depression. Do you think that might be the case? If so are there resources you can use, therapy, support groups, psychiatric help, etc.?
Many of us find that it's not so much the world that is rotten but our thinking, which has become distorted by our very difficult life experiences. Can you get some help to start turning your thinking around?
And by the way, I hope you feel we on this Board are worth your contact. We certainly value you, as we do everyone who fights and struggles with love addiction issues -- especially the ones who have the courage to come in here, talk about it, and try to make changes in their lives.
Don't give up before the miracle of recovery comes your way!
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Post by CodepNomore on Dec 12, 2014 8:15:06 GMT -8
Yes, it is the ugly truth that there will always be those who are double-faced and are not worthy of our trust. They are cowards! On the other hand, there are genuinely nice people too. So we do have a choice. If you are in doubt, "don't".
That is why, frankly, I would not encourage others to share freely in a public meeting even to people around us. Always reserve something for yourself, protect yourself and your loved ones, and be very selective and discerning! Be wise and alert.
Nevertheless, I am victorious and as bold as a lion, because I have an all-knowing inner guide whom I trust fully because he is simply always trustworthy. It would take a lifetime before anyone can 'defeat' me or make me feel low. Because I know my true worth and purpose in this life. And I am confident that everything will be repaid in due time, whether good or bad.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 12, 2014 11:57:48 GMT -8
i feel my life is totally empty all the people i met before are useless, worthless. they jsut used me cheated me and taook advantage of me , i feel nobody worth of my contact ..very day.. feel myself totally lost in the world You may feel this way, but don't act this way. Open you eyes and see that there are great things in store for you. Then take one step forward. Then again. If you hit a brick wall turn left. Life is what you make it. After the storm, there is always a rainbow at the end
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Post by loveelleng on Dec 13, 2014 5:31:34 GMT -8
Yes, it is the ugly truth that there will always be those who are double-faced and are not worthy of our trust. They are cowards! On the other hand, there are genuinely nice people too. So we do have a choice. If you are in doubt, "don't". That is why, frankly, I would not encourage others to share freely in a public meeting even to people around us. Always reserve something for yourself, protect yourself and your loved ones, and be very selective and discerning! Be wise and alert. Nevertheless, I am victorious and as bold as a lion, because I have an all-knowing inner guide whom I trust fully because he is simply always trustworthy. It would take a lifetime before anyone can 'defeat' me or make me feel low. Because I know my true worth and purpose in this life. And I am confident that everything will be repaid in due time, whether good or bad. i am very very sad all of my life i selceted all the people very very cruel, and not worth of any trusting..don't know why,perhaps lots of Chinese unbeleiable bad.. the people includs my aunt, my very close uncle, uncle wife.. and the guys chased me.. and so called friends..very bad. until, now ,i did not see any one really worth of my trusting ..
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Post by loveellen on Dec 13, 2014 5:41:27 GMT -8
Yes, it is the ugly truth that there will always be those who are double-faced and are not worthy of our trust. They are cowards! On the other hand, there are genuinely nice people too. So we do have a choice. If you are in doubt, "don't". That is why, frankly, I would not encourage others to share freely in a public meeting even to people around us. Always reserve something for yourself, protect yourself and your loved ones, and be very selective and discerning! Be wise and alert. Nevertheless, I am victorious and as bold as a lion, because I have an all-knowing inner guide whom I trust fully because he is simply always trustworthy. It would take a lifetime before anyone can 'defeat' me or make me feel low. Because I know my true worth and purpose in this life. And I am confident that everything will be repaid in due time, whether good or bad. i am super pretty, super talent, ( not imagiantion, that is real)but all of people i with very very cruel and toxics.. why? ? tell me why? why i was six years old, becaue i was super cute and clever. so a toxic old ugly guy sex abused me once, and my mom laughed at me and told others" why she attact this kind of things?" i feel very very very sad.. and all the females i met very jealous , very bad , cruel, just want to put me down..and all the guys very very eil
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Post by CodepNomore on Dec 14, 2014 1:55:32 GMT -8
Yes, it is the ugly truth that there will always be those who are double-faced and are not worthy of our trust. They are cowards! On the other hand, there are genuinely nice people too. So we do have a choice. If you are in doubt, "don't". That is why, frankly, I would not encourage others to share freely in a public meeting even to people around us. Always reserve something for yourself, protect yourself and your loved ones, and be very selective and discerning! Be wise and alert. Nevertheless, I am victorious and as bold as a lion, because I have an all-knowing inner guide whom I trust fully because he is simply always trustworthy. It would take a lifetime before anyone can 'defeat' me or make me feel low. Because I know my true worth and purpose in this life. And I am confident that everything will be repaid in due time, whether good or bad. i am super pretty, super talent, ( not imagiantion, that is real)but all of people i with very very cruel and toxics.. why? ? tell me why? why i was six years old, becaue i was super cute and clever. so a toxic old ugly guy sex abused me once, and my mom laughed at me and told others" why she attact this kind of things?" i feel very very very sad.. and all the females i met very jealous , very bad , cruel, just want to put me down..and all the guys very very eil OMG! We are the same! I was only about a year younger than you when a pedophile abused me! And when I was a little girl, I was not close to my mom either. I have some siblings rivalry too. So I understand how you are feeling. I went through a lot too! (I will share some more helpful infos regarding abuses.) You are not alone. I am hearing you loud and clear. There is hope for you, no matter how bad other people are. It is their lost to be cruel. They will be fully repaid for what they have done to you. Just take care of yourself now and leave them to God.
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Post by loveellen on Dec 14, 2014 2:41:36 GMT -8
i am super pretty, super talent, ( not imagiantion, that is real)but all of people i with very very cruel and toxics.. why? ? tell me why? why i was six years old, becaue i was super cute and clever. so a toxic old ugly guy sex abused me once, and my mom laughed at me and told others" why she attact this kind of things?" i feel very very very sad.. and all the females i met very jealous , very bad , cruel, just want to put me down..and all the guys very very eil OMG! We are the same! I was only about a year younger than you when a pedophile abused me! And when I was a little girl, I was not close to my mom either. I have some siblings rivalry too. So I understand how you are feeling. I went through a lot too! (I will share some more helpful infos regarding abuses.) You are not alone. I am hearing you loud and clear. There is hope for you, no matter how bad other people are. It is their lost to be cruel. They will be fully repaid for what they have done to you. Just take care of yourself now and leave them to God. THANK YOU THANK YOU ....
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 14, 2014 16:22:46 GMT -8
today i feel very very very sad. all the lady i met jealous ,and cruel All feelings and emotions have a life span. They pass, so just be patient. There is one thing you can do to speed up the process, and that is optimism or positive thinking.
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