today i feel very very very sad. all the lady i met jealous ,and cruel
It is ok to feel our feelings for awhile and even vent, but don't stay there too long. Don't get stuck. If you stay too long you are apt to cross over from "appropriate self concern" to self-pity which is addictive.
Another thing is that if you obsess about "why do I attract this type" and keep thinking about that type of person, they keep reappearing in your life.
GREAT points, loveanimals. ALso, I want to add, when you keep the focus on the ambiguity of attraction and don't take responsibility for allowing those types into your life, you give up control, you give up your power. We can be attracted to darn near anyone, including the Ted Bundys of the world. But at some point you need to recognize that "attraction" isn't always going to bear the fruit of a healthy relationship. So much more goes into it. That's when you reserve your emotions and your feelings and get to know someone first, out of protection for yourself.
There's a difference between people of "old money" and the "nouveau riche" People with old money, who have the stability of money take great care in saving their money and putting it somewhere where it will grow and prosper. People with new money, tend to spend it and lose it quickly. They have little respect for the money they possess.
WHen you have respect for yourself and what you possess (a heart!) you are not willing to just let it go to anyone who shows you a bit of attention.
I cant agree more with Lovely june!! As I am coming down the recovery road, till this point the most important factor in reducing my need to chase unhealthy and unavailable men was substituting my blood_father with my heavenly Father!!! My relationship with my father which always was so weak anf full of anger and insecurities made me unconsiously chase the same men and need the same relationship with the same men!!! What a pain I felt afrer 7,8 relationships!!! The only underlying man was my own father who I remember in my childood I have always hated him and was scared of him and did not trust him. Not because he was bad! He was indiferent to my presence!!! So,as a result I have always craved the same kind of relationship from men!! Just by replacing him with my heavenly Father was that I was able to understand it. My new dad is always there for me. I will listen to him and whenever I am under pressure and need him I just pray to him and he comforts me and he makes promises which he keeps. He is trustworthy and dependable. He wants me to have boundaries. He encourages me and protects me. The more I get close to him, the more love I feel. This new relationship helps me to overcome the wrong old pattern in relating with men.