Post by Loving My Life on Mar 7, 2013 4:05:23 GMT -8
I would like to share this from the Al-Anon "Courage to Change Daily Devotional:
Here's one the the most useful lessons I've learned in Al-Anon, or Codependency, or recovery in general...
If you don't want to be a doormat, I have to get up off of the floor. In other words, although I can't control what other people say, do, or think, I am responsible for my choices. I can choose not to be around these people.
Looking back, I can accept that plenty of unacceptable behavior was directed at me, but I was the one who sat and took it and often came back for more. I was a willing participant in a dance that required two partners. I felt like a victim, but in many ways I was a volunteer.
Today, as a result of my recovery, I know that I am not helpless. I have choices. When I get that old feeling that tells me I am a victim, I can regard it as a RED FLAG, a warning that i may be participating (with my thoughts or actions) in something that is not in my best interest. I can resist the temptation to blame others and look to my own involvement instead. That's where I can make changes.
Today's reminder:
It can be very empowering to take responsibility for my own choices. I will act in my own best interest today.
"I would do well to accept the challenge to look to my own recovery before I spent any more of my precious life wishing my poa would change."
We can not control people, places, or things, we can only change how we react.
With all of this I would like to add if you are a victim of child abuse and/or rape, this was not your fault, and yes you were a victim....and it does take time to recover from the trauma, so please dont think I am suggesting by this meditation what happened to you was ok. It is never ok for a child to be abused or another person to be raped.
Here's one the the most useful lessons I've learned in Al-Anon, or Codependency, or recovery in general...
If you don't want to be a doormat, I have to get up off of the floor. In other words, although I can't control what other people say, do, or think, I am responsible for my choices. I can choose not to be around these people.
Looking back, I can accept that plenty of unacceptable behavior was directed at me, but I was the one who sat and took it and often came back for more. I was a willing participant in a dance that required two partners. I felt like a victim, but in many ways I was a volunteer.
Today, as a result of my recovery, I know that I am not helpless. I have choices. When I get that old feeling that tells me I am a victim, I can regard it as a RED FLAG, a warning that i may be participating (with my thoughts or actions) in something that is not in my best interest. I can resist the temptation to blame others and look to my own involvement instead. That's where I can make changes.
Today's reminder:
It can be very empowering to take responsibility for my own choices. I will act in my own best interest today.
"I would do well to accept the challenge to look to my own recovery before I spent any more of my precious life wishing my poa would change."
We can not control people, places, or things, we can only change how we react.
With all of this I would like to add if you are a victim of child abuse and/or rape, this was not your fault, and yes you were a victim....and it does take time to recover from the trauma, so please dont think I am suggesting by this meditation what happened to you was ok. It is never ok for a child to be abused or another person to be raped.