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Post by brainhealth on Sept 17, 2012 9:14:24 GMT -8
From Brainhealth . . .
I think that this is the first time I have ever realised that there are issues from my past that I must really get to the bottom of and leave them behind permanently for the future. I think Halperns´s book has helped me. Havefaith your story really helps in this . Thank you.
Jac:- I am going to look into Byron Katie and do the work you suggested. Thank you.
Freeolive:- thanks for responding so fast - we can share thoughts on how we are both getting on with Halpern again.
Susan:- I had a long chat with another female friend yesterday evening - no compl¡lications here thank God, no limerence etc. We just talked about attachment hunger-no mention of the expoa. I finally cried! It was great.
You guys are lucky with your psychiarists and counsellers. Waste of space where I live. I knew more about love adiction than they did!!!
Brainhealth
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Post by brainhealth on Sept 16, 2012 4:58:13 GMT -8
I´ve deleted the last thread about my slip because there were too many things in it which would have identied the people involved.
Currently reading Halpern book, "how to cure your addiciton to a person" and doing EFT (emotional Freedom Technique) on the third chapter where he mentions going back to your early life and trying to deal with the attachment hunger issues at that level. I have picked out 12 issues that come to mind where I had emotional trauma and trying to work through them through the EFT. My current thinking is if I can cure this at the issues which caused this whole thing then perhaps wverything else will go away.
This is very difficult. All I want to do is cry my eyes out, but I can´t. I thought I was over this but I often wonder what I did to deserve this emotional tormoil. I beleive the secret lies in what happened in my young environment.
I carry a lot of baggage from the past, which I think reflects on my sensitivity to my expoa and then when she says something to me I perhaps overreact sometimes but then as in the recent ping, I frooze when she contacted me again and i missed the calls and didnt know what to do to help her given tha she had instructed me not to call her. I feel that I failed her. I was so caught up in the confusion I simply didnt know which way to react.
I have read my posts since joint this board and I realise now that I am right back at the beginning in certain, but fundamental respects. I have reinitiated my NIC contact process and counting the days. This EXPOA has me so strong it´s like cutting a piece of me away. However, having re read Halpern, I realise that the attachment hunger issue is my problem, not the expoa´s. There is a part of my childhood which is unresolved and I now need to deal with this. Actually, I´m not right back where I started. I have not acquired any new POA´s.
But dealing with the childhood issues is very difficult. As I said above, all I want to do is to cry, but can´t. I just wish to cry away all my emotions. I want to cry away my attachment hunger.
Anyone got ideas?
Brainhealth
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Post by Freetolive on Sept 16, 2012 5:12:01 GMT -8
Glad you are still trying to move forward...
I have the Halpern book too, think I'll go to Church this morning, then come home and relax and reread the book. I forgot I had it.
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Post by Havefaith on Sept 16, 2012 13:54:57 GMT -8
I had a breakthrough with my psychiatrist and I hope my experience will help you in your journey.
He is RIGOROUSLY honest with me and is telling me I must face some very painful truths and process them if I want to recover and heal. One of the toughest things he told me (and that I MUST face) is that I am very developmentally delayed in the area of love/sex/intimacy, that I continue to operate from the viewpoint/mindset of a 15-year old.
It has to do with parental issues I endured at the time. My ex-poa is very much like a someone who sexually abused me (with my mother's permission). It's a long and harrowing experience, which I won't get into on this forum. Suffice to say, I am (was) desperately trying to 'fix' a situation that was horrendous at the time, trying to find a 'happy ending' with this ex-poa. Well, we all know what is past is past, and there is no fixing it. However, my inner child/adolescent hasn't gotten the message yet! She continues to cling to obsessive and child-like thinking -- she does not know what mature love feels like, because she is mired in past. She has not moved forward. She thinks this ex-poa is going to make everything all better. But this I know --
If I don't work through this and remain adolescent in my thinking, I put my marriage on the line, my sobriety, and my overall quality of life. As my psychiatrist grimly reminds me every time I see him, "It's difficult to live in an adult world with the mindset of an adolescent." Every time, EVERY SINGLE TIME, I think of this man, I turn back the clock and become a hurting, obsessive, vulnerable 15-year-old. This is, quite simply, no way to live.
Inner child/adolescent work is imperative; I need to grow up and become an adult. And I am learning to be my own wise and loving parent so this can become a reality.
HaveFaith
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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 16, 2012 17:01:44 GMT -8
. . . Brainhealth . . . I want to pinch you so you will cry. Crying is cleansing. It is also like a raft that takes you to higher ground.
From Clarissa Estes . . . ". . .Tears are like a river that take you some place . . . welcome to membership into the Scar Clan."
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Post by brainhealth on Sept 17, 2012 9:14:24 GMT -8
Thank you everyone for your very kind replies.
I think that this is the first time I have ever realised that there are issues from my past that I must really get to the bottom of and leave them behind permanently for the future. I think Halperns´s book has helped me. Havefaith your story really helps in this . Thank you.
Jac:- I am going to look into Byron Katie and do the work you suggested. Thank you.
Freeolive:- thanks for responding so fast - we can share thoughts on how we are both getting on with Halpern again.
Susan:- I had a long chat with another female friend yesterday evening - no compl¡lications here thank God, no limerence etc. We just talked about attachment hunger-no mention of the expoa. I finally cried! It was great.
You guys are lucky with your psychiarists and counsellers. Waste of space where I live. I knew more about love adiction than they did!!!
Brainhealth
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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 17, 2012 17:05:51 GMT -8
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Post by brainhealth on Sept 29, 2012 11:33:17 GMT -8
Susan,
Miller - very interesting stuff there. Thanks for the link.
Brainhealth
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Post by brainhealth on Nov 9, 2013 14:54:55 GMT -8
Dear Fellow Members,
I have come a long way since those posts last year. But, those posts spurred me into action. Following a session of yoga with my youa teacher, we went back to headqurters as I was almost crying at the end of the yoga session and she invited me back. We sat on the steps of her back yard and I cried like I had never cried before. I released my story to her. Eventually at the endafter abut an hour, she gave me the name of a Psychoterapist who helped her in the past. That ws 13 months ago.
I atttended this lovely woman weekly for about 8 months and then fortnightly. We had our 4th last session last Monday evening. At that session my mood was up for the 3rd month in a row. Its as my energy was in excess - my aura felt so powerful, so positive. I said to her I felt I had captured the happiness of my pre teen years. Verylittle seem to faze me. She suggested at this session that we should perhaps consider winding down the theraphy. I agreed. We also agreed 3 more sessions was the plan.
My psychotheraphy over the las 13 months wentinto great depth on early childhood issues. I fact most of what I am now, evolved me into who I am. My expoa and I are still frineds. owever, the limerance is practically gone. I don't feel the anxiousness of loosing her as I have done over the last 15 years or so. I don't feel addicted to her. It's as if, I have built up my aura / corporate veil and there is so much of it around me that I am in surplus of this positive energy.
In addition to the thereaphy,I think my esteemed member colleagues need to understand what I am taking as well. In my wors moment last year my doctor put me on anti depressants. These gave me sexual impotence - I couldnt get it up. This was so frustrating for me because as all men know,sexual release is important as it can release a lot of tension and after orgasm we men ted to want to fall asleep. This happens whether the sex is with a partner or through masturbation. Being unable to reach orgasm had a major effect on me. So, I came off the anti depressants and concentrated on the therapy.
Over the last 4 months I have added the following to my diet:
1)Vitamin C (a minimum of 2000 MG per Day - I increase this to between 5000 and 10,000 per day if I feel I am coming down with a cold or flue/septic throat etc). 2) A good probiotic with anti depression microbes - 2 capsules a day - this product is kept in the fridge 3) A mult B vitamin - one per day. 4) L-Argiine 500mg - one 500mg capsule per day 5) Vitamin D3 400 Iu's per day. 6) Plenty of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) - see Garry Craig.
A week after adding the D3, I do feel that I got a boost. The boost remains. I know from research a friend of mine did recently that may of us are lacking in D3. We should all get our bloods done to see what our levels are.
All in all, I can say I do believe I am firmly in recovery. However,my story would not be complete if I didnt acknowledge my dear friend Archangel Michael. All I need to do is ask him - and he does send me relief. Thank you Archangel Michael. Thank you also Susan, Have Faith, Lovely June and many others on this site for your encouragement over the last few years.
Livelong and prosper everyone
Brainhealth, 9th November, 2013
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Post by Loving My Life on Nov 9, 2013 15:37:16 GMT -8
Wonderful recovery brainhealth,
It is good to hear from you.
Keep up the good maintenance on your recovery journey.
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Post by Havefaith on Nov 10, 2013 8:06:44 GMT -8
What a message of hope and true recovery, brainhealth. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. I'm particularly fascinated that you were able to conquer the limerence; for love addicts (and torch-bearers, such as myself), losing the limerence/obsession is key to recovering from this addiction.
I'm currently in intense psychodynamic therapy, and it is one of the best things I'm doing in terms of healing and recovery. So happy to hear it worked for you (in addition to the right 'cocktail' of supplements and tapping).
You give us all hope to carry on and fight the Good Fight!
HaveFaith
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Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 11, 2013 17:29:20 GMT -8
Let's keep this discussion going guys. This is not a religious thread, per se, but I love the imagery of a Higher Power which is mysterious and real all at the same time.
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Post by david78888 on Jul 30, 2014 22:27:39 GMT -8
Nice surprise about this shorter form. Can you tell us what it is you are talking/writing about?Has any info. about this shorter form been posted before (and i just missed it)?
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