Post by fluttershy on Apr 8, 2013 22:42:45 GMT -8
so i wanted to post here because my POA gets put in the back burner... my male friendships are suffering.
Currently a male friend/coworker/school mate has been distant since my birthday week. I confronted issue last week and he said its because he thought I liked him more than friend. He told me he is happily married, and I was insulted that he would suggest that i was flirtatious or interested in him in that way. However, after knowing him for 2years, I've come to really appreciate him. i felt we've been closer prior to my birthday, over Xmas i could share to him my POA, depend on him to study, share to him my troubles of the day... Why all of sudden does he think I could like him?! if anything why did he not think this prior to when we first met, because i did think maybe he liked me and it was uncomfortable.
Today i worked with him, and frustrated by the distance, i sent a text that said "dude, are you annoyed with me? cause i dont know what to say in regards to not giving you the wrong impression that i like you OR that I'm picking on you. Its frustrating. Is there a middle ground?"
And at first I felt a relief, but now im obsessing about that text. I thought it was a direct message. however, i also feel regrets about how i should have said nothing instead. he has not responded. and it tears me up inside. I'd like to let it go. he said he questioned our boundaries in the talk... and i feel heartbroken, that after sharing my my personal secrets of my POA he would assume i would hit on him or like him like that. i feel ignored, but i understand its me who has to come soothe this "inner child" ache...
now what are my boundaries? i feel like i made this worse? i have doubt, and am angry i let myself has an inner struggle, feeling over bearing and smothering to a friend.
last month i had fight with another male friend i started to crush on. but the end issue again is the same: feeling ignored, which was my POA similar theme
Currently a male friend/coworker/school mate has been distant since my birthday week. I confronted issue last week and he said its because he thought I liked him more than friend. He told me he is happily married, and I was insulted that he would suggest that i was flirtatious or interested in him in that way. However, after knowing him for 2years, I've come to really appreciate him. i felt we've been closer prior to my birthday, over Xmas i could share to him my POA, depend on him to study, share to him my troubles of the day... Why all of sudden does he think I could like him?! if anything why did he not think this prior to when we first met, because i did think maybe he liked me and it was uncomfortable.
Today i worked with him, and frustrated by the distance, i sent a text that said "dude, are you annoyed with me? cause i dont know what to say in regards to not giving you the wrong impression that i like you OR that I'm picking on you. Its frustrating. Is there a middle ground?"
And at first I felt a relief, but now im obsessing about that text. I thought it was a direct message. however, i also feel regrets about how i should have said nothing instead. he has not responded. and it tears me up inside. I'd like to let it go. he said he questioned our boundaries in the talk... and i feel heartbroken, that after sharing my my personal secrets of my POA he would assume i would hit on him or like him like that. i feel ignored, but i understand its me who has to come soothe this "inner child" ache...
now what are my boundaries? i feel like i made this worse? i have doubt, and am angry i let myself has an inner struggle, feeling over bearing and smothering to a friend.
last month i had fight with another male friend i started to crush on. but the end issue again is the same: feeling ignored, which was my POA similar theme