Post by sunflwrs4evr on Apr 16, 2013 6:48:21 GMT -8
I wanted to share a very real and heart breaking story with you. I am hoping that I find some comfort for myself and for my family with my share.
My brother-in-law came into my families lives in the late 1970's, He was a very handsome man and he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders.
When I would go to family functions he would 9 out of 10 times have a girlfriend with him. I can only remember 1 or 2 times the same woman twice that he was dating with him. I really never thought twice about it.
One day last year I was at Wawa and a young lady came over to me and introduced herself to me, she said she was J....x girlfriend and how was he doing. She confided in me about her wanting to always be with him and he would avoid her at all costs. She said many times in their relationship she would want to be intimate with him and he would not be interested.
For me I heard alot of Love addiction, love avoidants and I shared with her alittle about my la and how i would choose unavailable men and we briefly talked more about it. She left by saying I hope I be with you and your family around the holidays because she really enjoyed those times.
Last year some time He was with another woman and I was told that they had dated many many years ago and they met up again. She had 3 other children by 3 other men. So they are now dating and i see her at my families functions and now I find out she is pregnant.
In my mind I am thinking he is happy and and finally he wants to have a family of his own and i was very happy for him. He was never married before and never had any children.
I would see pictures of my brother and the family with all of her kids eating thanksgiving dinner together.
They have their baby girl the end of March of this year. Beautiful healthy little girl.
Yesterday my brother calls me and tells me that his brother-in-law hung himself and died. I was devastated. I went over to my brothers home and I then found out that there were problems going on between them and He didnt want the girlfriend and baby living with them in his little house. So she moved in with his mother home with the baby. They said he just wanted his space.
Yesterday after I went to my grieft group some of the members shared about committing suicide, I was very numb and angry that he hurt my family by doing this. One of the members shared with us that she tried 3x to kill herself and God wouldnt take her, she said that all she thought was she would not be a burden on her family anymore and the problem would be solved with out her here anymore and she wanted the pain to end.
This gave me a different perspective on the situation. I am still feeling really bad inside and hurting. He was 42 years old and he just finished some online classes, i think he had a couple of Master Degrees and my heart is broken, my family is devastated.
And all i can think of is how trapped he was between the girlfriend and his baby and her other children and the family, he wanted the pain to end and hung himself and my niece and his girlfriend found him and my niece cut him down. And she will probably be traumatized forever.
Just seems to me that why couldnt there be a better solution. Why did she have to push him into a situation he couldn't handle. He most likely had intimate issues.
At the baby shower there was no one there on her side of the family. Which says alot to me. I am not getting a good feeling about this and I am powerless over all of it.
I am just going to reach out and keep talking because I hurting really bad. I can relate with him on alot of angles. Sun
My brother-in-law came into my families lives in the late 1970's, He was a very handsome man and he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders.
When I would go to family functions he would 9 out of 10 times have a girlfriend with him. I can only remember 1 or 2 times the same woman twice that he was dating with him. I really never thought twice about it.
One day last year I was at Wawa and a young lady came over to me and introduced herself to me, she said she was J....x girlfriend and how was he doing. She confided in me about her wanting to always be with him and he would avoid her at all costs. She said many times in their relationship she would want to be intimate with him and he would not be interested.
For me I heard alot of Love addiction, love avoidants and I shared with her alittle about my la and how i would choose unavailable men and we briefly talked more about it. She left by saying I hope I be with you and your family around the holidays because she really enjoyed those times.
Last year some time He was with another woman and I was told that they had dated many many years ago and they met up again. She had 3 other children by 3 other men. So they are now dating and i see her at my families functions and now I find out she is pregnant.
In my mind I am thinking he is happy and and finally he wants to have a family of his own and i was very happy for him. He was never married before and never had any children.
I would see pictures of my brother and the family with all of her kids eating thanksgiving dinner together.
They have their baby girl the end of March of this year. Beautiful healthy little girl.
Yesterday my brother calls me and tells me that his brother-in-law hung himself and died. I was devastated. I went over to my brothers home and I then found out that there were problems going on between them and He didnt want the girlfriend and baby living with them in his little house. So she moved in with his mother home with the baby. They said he just wanted his space.
Yesterday after I went to my grieft group some of the members shared about committing suicide, I was very numb and angry that he hurt my family by doing this. One of the members shared with us that she tried 3x to kill herself and God wouldnt take her, she said that all she thought was she would not be a burden on her family anymore and the problem would be solved with out her here anymore and she wanted the pain to end.
This gave me a different perspective on the situation. I am still feeling really bad inside and hurting. He was 42 years old and he just finished some online classes, i think he had a couple of Master Degrees and my heart is broken, my family is devastated.
And all i can think of is how trapped he was between the girlfriend and his baby and her other children and the family, he wanted the pain to end and hung himself and my niece and his girlfriend found him and my niece cut him down. And she will probably be traumatized forever.
Just seems to me that why couldnt there be a better solution. Why did she have to push him into a situation he couldn't handle. He most likely had intimate issues.
At the baby shower there was no one there on her side of the family. Which says alot to me. I am not getting a good feeling about this and I am powerless over all of it.
I am just going to reach out and keep talking because I hurting really bad. I can relate with him on alot of angles. Sun
