Love Addict, or Just Lonely?

The hardest thing to do in recovery, is to stop and look within ourselves. And until we can do this, and be totally honest with ourselves, we will never recover.

What is going on inside of you, is it fear of being alone? not having a partner? look at your fears, and look at your inner child, and start to dig deep and work on you and see if anything comes up.

So what if you are alone? a lot of people are alone....but they still go out and do things, and try and make a new life with themselves as they recover.

When we are not healthy, we are not going to attract healthy people, we are just going to stay on this hamster wheel of insanity of this love addiction.

Hope this makes sense....we want answers and quick fixes, and we are the only ones who can do this, once we start working on ourselves.

Working the steps and especially the 4th step clean a lot of this up, and it is not a overnight process, it takes along time, and a lot of work, and we have to change ourselves and our thinking.

I scored 20 on the 40 questions, but I'm still a little bit confused.

Sometimes I feel lonely even when I'm at a party and talking to people. Only a deep intimate connection with somebody, of the kind you can only get from a relationship, can stop me feeling lonely. I need to know there's somebody there for me all the time, who really cares about me. Only a relationship can stop the loneliness, not just lots of socialising.

It's because the loneliness is not situational, it's deep inside. I guess loneliness and love addiction are to sides of the same coin for me.

Bluh. I got all 40.

Loneliness is a state of mind. You can fight it all you want and think it's because you're not connected to someone, but that's not the cause of loneliness.

I'm in a loving, giving, fulfilling relationship, I have two kids who also live with me. I even have a pet! But sometimes I feel lonely. It goes with the territory of being HUMAN. Gauge your level of loneliness. If it's chronic start to THINK DIFFERENTLY about loneliness versus being alone. That's the only way to change. Change the thinking.

Thanks to all for the helpful thoughts. I'm at home alone right now, and I'm not feeling particularly lonely. Let's see how long it lasts!

R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y is a ACTION WORD....you have to take some action in the process. If it is nothing more than cleaning out a sock drawer, do something beside just sit and let life pass you by.

I use to be that person, I would sit and complain about how bad life was, and do nothing. Looking back now I really don't know what I was expecting to happen.

I guess the fairy to sprinkle feel good dust upon my life and all would be better. LOL

Come on now, you can do something, right?

I was hoping not..that is why I asked the questions.

And remember HALT: Hungry, Anger, Lonely, and Tired, these are signs we need to take some positive action. Maybe Eat, Talk, Be around healthy people, or Get some much needed rest.

I know! I have an active social life, but I carry my loneliness around with me. In order to fix the loneliness, I feel there is an need to really merge and fuse with another person, to become a single unit - a couple. Loneliness is maybe the wrong word for what I feel. It's really incompleteness. I feel that the normal unit for human existence is a couple, and I'm only half of that. That's it really: I feel incomplete, not lonely.