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May 8, 2013 12:54:57 GMT -8
Post by loveaddicted on May 8, 2013 12:54:57 GMT -8
I am a love addict and just hit rock bottom in my addiction. Please bear with me and let me tell my story. I met this guy a nurse about 2010 he had been coming into my life and out of it for about three years. I have no idea why. I would get drunk and get mad with him because I had suspicions and always have of him messing around. First of all he was on a dating site quite regular. and he had this nurse friend that I was always jeolous of then she went out of the country and he paid me more attention I had a suspicion that he was seeing her and that he only contacted me when she left. He would pop back into my life over and over again until this all just made me sick. I had a heart attack in Februrary was trying to get sober then had a panic attack then went back to drinking. He always told me that if he messed around on me I would be the first to know. Well just recently after one of my blow ups he stopped contacting me and he wouldn't answer his phone. So this past Monday I drove down there unexpected and saw this woman's car parked outside of his house. Walked up to his newly built cabin then I saw him jump to put on his jeans and had the woman go to the bathroom to hide. I lost it and try to find out if he was messing around all the while he was telling me to leave. When I was at my car he told me that he could communicate with this woman and never could communicate with me. His story was that she was studying on his bed and he was taking a shower and that he was not having sex with this woman. Please Please help me here. My first impression because the lady was hiding in the bathroom that they were both together. I have been accusing me for almost a year. He tells me he is not having sex with her but if this helps me with closure then I can believe what I want. well I feel pretty sick. I have been sick of worrying and being afraid of what I expect all the while he is denying my suspicions. Please help here. There are other things for which gave me my suspicion. I was trying a year ago to let him go now I have to. I am pretty tired today and just been thinking about this all day. please help
From Susan . . . Please break up your posts into small paragraphs to make it easier to read. Welcome back.
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May 8, 2013 14:45:23 GMT -8
Post by Loving My Life on May 8, 2013 14:45:23 GMT -8
loveaddicted,
What is your questions?
Have you and your poa been broke up?
I know for me, when I know I am probably going to find what I am looking for, it is sometime better to just sit with the pain, instead of looking, because we will always find what we don't want too.
I am sorry you are going thru this, and I know the pain is unbearable right now, but it is not going to change anything.
Are you going to meetings, or what are you doing for you recovery now?
We just have to stop fighting this, and move on, we have to let go, or it will kill us. And this is not going to help anyone.
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May 8, 2013 15:01:46 GMT -8
Post by loveaddicted on May 8, 2013 15:01:46 GMT -8
yes I was in alcohol rehab when I had my heart attack then went back out. thanks for saying this because I know. just wished I had not let it go this long. until I had to find out exactly what I suspected. thanks for your words. it has almost killed me. the emotional roller coaster.
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May 8, 2013 16:44:34 GMT -8
Post by loveaddicted on May 8, 2013 16:44:34 GMT -8
oh I am sorry I did not understand what you were saying. My question is was is messing around on me or not.
I guess at this point it doesn't matter we are done. I am just emotinally drained from worrying about it. and yes Loving My Life I really wished I did not know now I have to live with the scene I saw. I thought it would help with closure but it just hurt me more than anything I have ever felt. The person is so good at what he does. He played me until he was done. My fault. I realize I do not love myself very much to allow him to hurt me like that.
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May 8, 2013 16:55:53 GMT -8
Post by Loving My Life on May 8, 2013 16:55:53 GMT -8
Loveaddicted, If you can use this time too love yourself, and pamper yourself, that would be good. This is not the time to start beating yourself up, and we will do that.
If you can get to a meeting, this is be very helpful right now, take what you have learned in recovery and put it into action, when we are hurting the most, this is when we need to be around others, it gets us out of ourselves for a while.
You will get through this, just be easy with yourself.
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May 8, 2013 20:56:36 GMT -8
Post by Loveanimals on May 8, 2013 20:56:36 GMT -8
Loveaddicted,
His behavior does sound very suspicious and I wouldn't trust this man enough to change my oil much less be in a relationship, yet that isn't the real question here.
It's very common for those in alcohol rehab to start the rehab process and then love addiction comes out as being the core under the alcohol or it becomes a substitute for alcohol.
The real question now is to get to a meeting, take care of yourself, go No Contact with this man and break free from the lies and the 2nd guessing. In AA they do not recommend that people have relationships for the first year of recovery. Take this time as a blessing to focus on you and your recovery, and in a few months you will wonder what you ever saw in this man.
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May 10, 2013 10:19:56 GMT -8
Post by loveaddicted on May 10, 2013 10:19:56 GMT -8
Thanks for the encouraging words. I appreciate you opening my mind to these things.
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