Post by ferre on May 12, 2013 5:34:46 GMT -8
Slowly i start to realise how irresponsible and uncaring my mother was.
When i was about 16 years i suffered grueling toothache for months.
The only thing my mother said "take some painkillers"
So i did.
Before i went to school, in school and before sleeping
When that didn't help anymore she said take a double dose.
So i did.
For months i suffered.
I didn't complain. i suffered in silence. I learned that early on because we were taught not to upset someone in the family.
Till 1 day my sister said " why don't you go to the dentist"
I did, of course i used my savings and worked for the money.
I did so to not trouble my family over money issues. All the family money went to my mother medications and her favorites.
I went to do dentist for about 6 months on a regular basis.
In my adulthood i had a lot of back problems. I found out after a long time that it was due to my mouth missing a lot of teeth.
I had to spend a lot of money again to reconstruct my teeth.
For months i have been asking myself what caused me to have co-dependency, love addiction, social anxiety.
I always believed i suffered no trauma. I had a nice childhood.
i feel incredible angry and powerless that my parents had not even the ability nor the sense to take care of me as a human being.
I lived next to a farm.
When a cow or a pig suffered or even their dog suffered, these animals were treated by a vet to end their suffering.
My mother only looked annoyed and said "don't take all my painkillers"
When i was about 16 years i suffered grueling toothache for months.
The only thing my mother said "take some painkillers"
So i did.
Before i went to school, in school and before sleeping
When that didn't help anymore she said take a double dose.
So i did.
For months i suffered.
I didn't complain. i suffered in silence. I learned that early on because we were taught not to upset someone in the family.
Till 1 day my sister said " why don't you go to the dentist"
I did, of course i used my savings and worked for the money.
I did so to not trouble my family over money issues. All the family money went to my mother medications and her favorites.
I went to do dentist for about 6 months on a regular basis.
In my adulthood i had a lot of back problems. I found out after a long time that it was due to my mouth missing a lot of teeth.
I had to spend a lot of money again to reconstruct my teeth.
For months i have been asking myself what caused me to have co-dependency, love addiction, social anxiety.
I always believed i suffered no trauma. I had a nice childhood.
i feel incredible angry and powerless that my parents had not even the ability nor the sense to take care of me as a human being.
I lived next to a farm.
When a cow or a pig suffered or even their dog suffered, these animals were treated by a vet to end their suffering.
My mother only looked annoyed and said "don't take all my painkillers"
