he has so much power over me still...that i GIVE to him
Jun 28, 2013 17:31:15 GMT -8
RoseNadler likes this
Post by ariel19 on Jun 28, 2013 17:31:15 GMT -8
Every time i see a text from my husband (we are separated and in the process of divorce and we have a child together so UNFORTUNATELY NC is impossible) i get so mentally & physically worked up. i have so much anger inside and it makes me so anxious even to see his name.
it is much worse now that he is living with his new girlfriend of like 3 weeks. i am jealous, even though i truly do not want him in my life anymore. if we were divorced and didn't have to communicate about our son, i know i wouldn't be upset and would be HAPPY to be done with him. but now that he has this other woman...it has me feeling like something is wrong with ME. i know its not true but thats how i feel. i am terrified to see her or meet her someday because i know i will compare myself to her and end up feeling even worse. i know I am a great person and i have been making progress in terms of my self esteem and self love, but somehow, even if she were less attractive or smart than me i still feel like i'm not good bc that isn't what he wants anymore. like i should be like her.
i hope this makes sense. anyone have advice or support that has gone through a similar situation? i feel like i make so much progress then i make many steps back when i hear from him or start to obsess about the new girl..
From Susan . . . LC (limited contact) in recovery means a lot of self-control over what you project on to your PofA
it is much worse now that he is living with his new girlfriend of like 3 weeks. i am jealous, even though i truly do not want him in my life anymore. if we were divorced and didn't have to communicate about our son, i know i wouldn't be upset and would be HAPPY to be done with him. but now that he has this other woman...it has me feeling like something is wrong with ME. i know its not true but thats how i feel. i am terrified to see her or meet her someday because i know i will compare myself to her and end up feeling even worse. i know I am a great person and i have been making progress in terms of my self esteem and self love, but somehow, even if she were less attractive or smart than me i still feel like i'm not good bc that isn't what he wants anymore. like i should be like her.
i hope this makes sense. anyone have advice or support that has gone through a similar situation? i feel like i make so much progress then i make many steps back when i hear from him or start to obsess about the new girl..
From Susan . . . LC (limited contact) in recovery means a lot of self-control over what you project on to your PofA
