Post by esaraw on Aug 14, 2013 17:43:35 GMT -8
Hello,
This is my first time on the board. I recently attended the 5 Sisters Ranch for love addiction. During that visit, I went into withdrawal. In addition to having no contact with my qualifier, I also agreed to not date for the next 90 days. While I have had periods of not dating, I have been either in a relationship or looking for one everyday of my adult life. I have suffered from periods of depression all of my adult life, depending on what part of the "cycle" I'm in (no depression when I'm feeling good about a relationship or looking for one to pretty severe depression when I feel stuck in a relationship or it is ending).
While at the recovery center, I felt pretty optimistic about the future and being able to work through these 90 days with the eventual goal of being able to have a healthy relationship at some point. However, since leaving, I feel depressed and have recurring thoughts of suicide. I know I won't act on those thoughts, but I am feeling hopeless now that I am back home. I've been taking several different kinds of medication for depression, attending weekly psychology and psychiatry appointments, and have been reading self-help books for the last 6 months. I have also started attending CoDA and SLAA support groups this last week. I feel like I am doing everything I can to get better, but I get home and just want to crawl in bed and hide from the world. I am exhausted. I go from feeling numb to the world to feeling such intense pain that I want to die.
Thanks for listening.
This is my first time on the board. I recently attended the 5 Sisters Ranch for love addiction. During that visit, I went into withdrawal. In addition to having no contact with my qualifier, I also agreed to not date for the next 90 days. While I have had periods of not dating, I have been either in a relationship or looking for one everyday of my adult life. I have suffered from periods of depression all of my adult life, depending on what part of the "cycle" I'm in (no depression when I'm feeling good about a relationship or looking for one to pretty severe depression when I feel stuck in a relationship or it is ending).
While at the recovery center, I felt pretty optimistic about the future and being able to work through these 90 days with the eventual goal of being able to have a healthy relationship at some point. However, since leaving, I feel depressed and have recurring thoughts of suicide. I know I won't act on those thoughts, but I am feeling hopeless now that I am back home. I've been taking several different kinds of medication for depression, attending weekly psychology and psychiatry appointments, and have been reading self-help books for the last 6 months. I have also started attending CoDA and SLAA support groups this last week. I feel like I am doing everything I can to get better, but I get home and just want to crawl in bed and hide from the world. I am exhausted. I go from feeling numb to the world to feeling such intense pain that I want to die.
Thanks for listening.
