Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 14, 2013 13:09:17 GMT -8
My mother loved to tell me one day that I was just like my grandmother and then a day later tell me how awful her mother was. I don't think she ever realized I took this to mean I was an awful person like her mother.
On my mother's deathbed, I was holding vigil and my sister asked me to leave. She said, "Mom would be horrified to know you are here. She didn't even like you."
These words stung, but I had already forgiven my mother so I stayed by her side and was holding her hand when she passed away.
Everything our parents said and mirrored to us in their eyes is part of our Parent Tape (see transactional analysis). We cannot erase our parent tape but we can counteract the feelings triggered by what is now our inner critic with affirmations
. We are at war against what our inner critic/parent tape tells us or makes us feel. We must win this war and have the last say in the matter.
Affirmation: My mother was projecting on to me her feelings about her mother. She was wrong. I am ok. I am special. I am a child of God. I am a good person. I contribute to the world. My mother's words cannot hurt me. I am guilt free. I am not ashamed. I love me. God loves me. Despite evidence to the contrary, life is wonderful. I am wonderful.
Create a list of affirmations and keep them handy.
I encourage you to read about TA and the Parent Ego State (parent tape/inner critique).