Post by Loving My Life on Sept 24, 2013 5:44:52 GMT -8
As I am reading from my daily devotionals, "Courage To Change", this is from Al-Anon and Codependent meetings, I wanted to share this with everyone, and really think about what this is saying.
"One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behaviors that is directed at me----to react to insults with more insults, to rudeness with more rudeness. I never thought to act in any other way until I was traveling to work with a long time member of Al-Anon. Each day when my friend would stop to buy a morning paper, the person behind the counter was surly and hostile. No matter how rudely she was treated, my friend consistently behaved with courtesy. I was outraged! Doesn't Al-Anon tell us we don't accept unacceptable behaviors?
Finally I asked her about it.
She told me that, since this is only a newsstand around, she would rather detach from the behavior than do without her morning paper. She explained that she is powerless over other people's attitudes, but she doesn't have to permit them to goad her into lowering her own standards for herself. To the best of her ability, she chooses to treat everyone she meets with courtesy. Other people are free to make whatever choices they prefer."
Today's reminder"
Today I will "Let It Begin with Me." I do not have to accept unacceptable behaviors, I can begin by refusing to accept it from myself. I can choose to behave courteously and with dignity.
My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitude and feelings. If I am always reacting then I an never free."
See if you can relate to this story, and you can make it with any person in your life, not just strangers at a newsstand, replace the stranger with your poa. We show people how to treat us, and we do accept unacceptable behaviors from others, just to feel like someone cares about us, and in the end we always forget about ourselves. No one can make us do anything, we do this to ourselves.
We have to look at ourselves and become humble enough to admit we are not perfect, and we let people walk all over us, and this was the hardest thing for me to do in recovery, I always look at my part first, ever problem I had, I always started the ball rolling, and once I could be honest with me, I could stop some of my self-defeating behaviors. And my life finally started to become less chaotic.
Can you relate? And what can you do today to make a difference?
"One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behaviors that is directed at me----to react to insults with more insults, to rudeness with more rudeness. I never thought to act in any other way until I was traveling to work with a long time member of Al-Anon. Each day when my friend would stop to buy a morning paper, the person behind the counter was surly and hostile. No matter how rudely she was treated, my friend consistently behaved with courtesy. I was outraged! Doesn't Al-Anon tell us we don't accept unacceptable behaviors?
Finally I asked her about it.
She told me that, since this is only a newsstand around, she would rather detach from the behavior than do without her morning paper. She explained that she is powerless over other people's attitudes, but she doesn't have to permit them to goad her into lowering her own standards for herself. To the best of her ability, she chooses to treat everyone she meets with courtesy. Other people are free to make whatever choices they prefer."
Today's reminder"
Today I will "Let It Begin with Me." I do not have to accept unacceptable behaviors, I can begin by refusing to accept it from myself. I can choose to behave courteously and with dignity.
My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitude and feelings. If I am always reacting then I an never free."
See if you can relate to this story, and you can make it with any person in your life, not just strangers at a newsstand, replace the stranger with your poa. We show people how to treat us, and we do accept unacceptable behaviors from others, just to feel like someone cares about us, and in the end we always forget about ourselves. No one can make us do anything, we do this to ourselves.
We have to look at ourselves and become humble enough to admit we are not perfect, and we let people walk all over us, and this was the hardest thing for me to do in recovery, I always look at my part first, ever problem I had, I always started the ball rolling, and once I could be honest with me, I could stop some of my self-defeating behaviors. And my life finally started to become less chaotic.
Can you relate? And what can you do today to make a difference?
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